1 00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:01,751 Hi. 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,381 This guy says, "Hello," I want to kill myself. 3 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,299 You okay, sweetie? 4 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,552 I just feel like someone reached down my throat 5 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:13,388 grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:14,889 and tied it around my neck. 7 00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,474 Cookie? 8 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,894 Carol moved her stuff out today. 9 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:20,895 (all) Ohh. 10 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,023 - Let me get you some coffee. - Thanks. 11 00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,527 Oh, ugh. 12 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:32,115 Uh-oh, no. No, don't. Stop cleansing my aura. 13 00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:34,868 Don't. Just leave my aura alone, okay? 14 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,246 I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone 15 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,414 I hope she'll be very happy. 16 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,915 - No, you don't - No, I don't. 17 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,751 To hell with her, she left me! 18 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,337 And you never knew she was a lesbian. 19 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,968 No, okay? 20 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,430 Why does everyone keep fixating on that? 21 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,517 She didn't know, how should I know? 22 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,897 Sometimes, I wish I was a lesbian. 23 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,109 Did I say that out loud? 24 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:13,656 Alright, Ross, look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. 25 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,451 You're angry. You're hurting. 26 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,787 Can I tell you what the answer is? 27 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,622 Strip joints! 28 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,793 Come on, you're single. Have some hormones.. 29 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,920 But I don't want to be single, okay? 30 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:30,465 I just, I just, I just want to be married again. 31 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:37,013 And I just won a million dollars. 32 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:39,724 Rachel? 33 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,811 [gasps] Oh, God, Monica, hi. Thank god. 34 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,854 I just went to your building and you weren't there. 35 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,482 And then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here 36 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,942 and you are. You are. 37 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,693 Can I get you some coffee? 38 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,695 Decaf. 39 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:57,033 Okay, everybody this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. 40 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,034 This-this is everybody. 41 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,452 This is Chandler, and Phoebe 42 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,662 and Joey. 43 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,330 And you remember my brother, Ross? 44 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,873 - Sure! Hi. - Hey. 45 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,760 So you want to tell us now, or are we waiting 46 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,512 for four wet bridesmaids? 47 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,057 Oh, God! Well.. 48 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:24,102 ...it started about a half-hour before the wedding. 49 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,896 I was in this room where we were keeping all the presents 50 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,107 And I was looking at this gravy boat. 51 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,277 This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. 52 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,404 When all of sudden.. Sweet N' Low? 53 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,489 I realized 54 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,449 I realized I was more turned on 55 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,702 by this gravy boat than by Barry. 56 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,787 And then I got really freaked out. 57 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,038 And that's when it hit me 58 00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:46,749 how much Barry looks Mr. Potato Head. 59 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,253 You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but.. 60 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,466 Anyway, I just had to get out of there 61 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,510 and I started wondering "Why am I doing this?" 62 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,971 and "Who am I doing this for?" 63 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,056 So, anyway, I just didn't know where to go 64 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,392 and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart 65 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:07,937 but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city. 66 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,731 Who wasn't invited to the wedding. 67 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,734 Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue. 68 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,572 ["Star spangled banner" instrumental] 69 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,910 Well, that's it. 70 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,661 - You gonna crash on the couch? - No. 71 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,413 No, I gotta go home, sometime. 72 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,748 Alright. You gonna be okay? 73 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,167 - Yeah. - Goodnight. 74 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,836 Hey, Mon, look what I just found on the floor. 75 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,379 [chuckles] 76 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:34,923 What? 77 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,925 That's Paul's watch. 78 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,052 Now, you just, put it back where you found it. 79 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:43,848 Oh, boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody. 80 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,225 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 81 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,434 [thud] 82 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,733 [chuckling] 83 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,735 - Hmm. - 'Hmm.' 84 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,111 - Hmm. Oh, no. - Oh, sorry. 85 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,571 - Oh, no, no. Go. Go-go. - No, have it, really. 86 00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,781 - I don't want. - Split it? 87 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,115 - Okay. - Okay. 88 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,867 [chuckles] 89 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,453 Thanks. 90 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,622 You probably didn't know this but back in high school 91 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,624 I had a.. 92 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,376 ...major crush on you. 93 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,128 I knew. 94 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,463 You did? Oh. 95 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,465 [scoffs] 96 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,632 I always figured you just thought 97 00:04:18,632 --> 00:04:21,301 I was Monica's geeky older brother. 98 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,971 - I did. - Oh. 99 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,811 Listen, do you think 100 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,813 and try not to let my intense vulnerability 101 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:33,314 become any kind of a factor here 102 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,484 but you think it would be okay 103 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,319 if I asked you out sometime maybe? 104 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,823 Yeah. 105 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,158 Maybe. 106 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,452 Okay. 107 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,793 Okay, maybe I will. 108 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,129 [laughing] 109 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,841 - Alright. Goodnight. - Goodnight. 110 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,471 [door opens and closes] 111 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,190 See ya. 112 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,191 Mm-hmm. 113 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,109 Wait, wait. 114 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,861 Hey, what's with you? 115 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,823 I just grabbed a spoon. 116 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,201 [instrumental music] 117 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,207 Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them 118 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,043 any more ammunition than they already have. 119 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,628 Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about 120 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,131 the flatness of a child's pillow. 121 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,968 Monica, hi! Um.. 122 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:47,513 Monica, you're scaring me. 123 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:50,808 I mean, you're like, you're all chaotic and twirly, you know. 124 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,019 And not-not in a good way. 125 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,064 Yeah, calm down. 126 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,982 You don't see Ross getting all chaotic 127 00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,818 and twirly every time they come. 128 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,987 That's because as far as my parents are concerned 129 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,822 Ross can do no wrong. 130 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:06,657 You see, he's the prince. 131 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:10,328 Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. 132 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,832 - Ew, ew, ew! - What? 133 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,211 Ugly naked guy got a Thighmaster. 134 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,505 (in unison) Ew! 135 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,508 Has anybody seen my engagement ring? 136 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,843 Yeah, it's beautiful. 137 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,518 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 138 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,353 No-no, don't touch that. 139 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,899 Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough 140 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,026 having to give it back to him.. 141 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,528 Hi, Barry! Remember me? 142 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,196 I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart 143 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,240 in front of your entire family! 144 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,617 Oh, God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring 145 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,871 without the ring, which makes it so much harder. 146 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,207 Easy, Rach, we'll find it. 147 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,584 - Won't we? - Oh, yeah. 148 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,880 Alright, when did you have it on last? 149 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,466 Doy! Probably right before she lost it. 150 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,471 You don't get a lot of doy these days. 151 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,642 I know, I had it this morning 152 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:18,396 and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with.. 153 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,231 Dinah? 154 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,736 Oh, don't be mad. 155 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,072 - You didn't. - Oh, I'm sorry. 156 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,575 I gave you one job! 157 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:35,121 Oh, but look how straight those noodles are. 158 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,081 Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look 159 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:40,293 for an engagement ring in a lasagna. 160 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,006 I just can't do it. 161 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,593 Boys? We're going in. 162 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,474 [knock on door] 163 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,479 Hi. 164 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,814 Wow. That is not a happy hi. 165 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,608 Carol's pregnant. 166 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,526 Ooh! I found it! 167 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,865 W-w-what? 168 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:12,325 Yeah. 169 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,535 Do that for another two hours 170 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,497 you might be where I am right about now. 171 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,168 Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? 172 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,297 Well now, how how do you fit into this whole thing? 173 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,675 Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved 174 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:34,847 but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved. 175 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,974 Basically it's totally up to me. 176 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,310 She is so great! I miss her. 177 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,650 Well, what does she mean by involved? 178 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,694 I mean, presumably the biggest part of your job is done. 179 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,491 Anyway, they want me to go down to this 180 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,493 sonogram thing with them tomorrow. 181 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,745 - Wow. - So what are you gonna do? 182 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,580 I have no idea. 183 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,667 No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. 184 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,669 [cutlery clanking] 185 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,180 Well, this is still ruined, right? 186 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:06,475 No, no, no. 187 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,185 They say it's the same as the distance 188 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,104 from the tip of a guy's thumb 189 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:11,689 the the tip of his index finger. 190 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,947 That's ridiculous. 191 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,367 Can I use either thumb? 192 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,620 Alright. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. 193 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,541 Decaf cappuccino for Joey. 194 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,503 Coffee, black. 195 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,298 Latte. 196 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,634 And an iced tea. 197 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,011 I'm getting pretty good at this. 198 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,054 - Excellent. - Good job. 199 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,681 Good for me. 200 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,400 [mumbling] 201 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:01,405 - You okay, Phoebe? - Yeah. No, I'm just, it's, uh.. 202 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:04,158 It's not even worth. It's my bank. 203 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:05,409 And what did they do to you? 204 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,369 It's not, it's just.. Okay. 205 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,746 I'm goin' through my mail, and I open 206 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,331 up their monthly, you know, statement-- 207 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,583 - Easy, easy. - And, yeah.. 208 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,420 And there's $500 extra in my account. 209 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:20,090 Oh! Satan's minions at work again. 210 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,010 Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there and deal with them. 211 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,929 What are you talkin' about? Keep it. 212 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,348 It's not mine. I didn't earned it. 213 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,099 If I kept it, it would be like stealing. 214 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,895 Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping. 215 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,439 Okay. Okay. 216 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,775 Let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. 217 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,277 Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took? 218 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:43,030 Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. 219 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,950 And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping. 220 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,369 I'd hear, not-not mine. Not-not mine. 221 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,955 We're with you. We got it 222 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,958 Okay. I just, I'd never be able to enjoy it. 223 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,460 It would be like this giant karmic debt. 224 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,128 (Monica) 'Chandler, what are you doin'?' 225 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,464 Hey, what are you doing? 226 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,761 - Oh, whoa! - Oh, gross. 227 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,388 - What are you doing? - What is this? 228 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:08,889 I'm smoking. I'm smoking I'm smoking. 229 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:09,974 Oh, I can't believe you. 230 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,976 You've been so good for three years. 231 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,478 And this...is my reward. 232 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,147 Hold on a second, alright. 233 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,315 Just think about what you went 234 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,650 through the last time you quit. 235 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,277 Okay, so this time I won't quit. 236 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,237 - No! Put it down. - Alright! I'm putting it out. 237 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,322 I'm putting it out. 238 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:28,993 Oh, no! I, uh.. I can't drink this now. 239 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,416 Alright, I'm gonna go change. I've got a date. 240 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,168 Is this Alan again? How's it goin'? 241 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,754 It's going pretty good, you know. 242 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,423 It's nice and we're having fun. 243 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,674 So, when do we get to meet the guy? 244 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,677 - 'Yeah?' - Let's see, today's Monday. 245 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,679 - Never. - Come on! 246 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,681 No, no, not after what happened with Steve. 247 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,350 What are you talking about? We love Steve. 248 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,644 Steve was sexy! 249 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,690 - Sorry. - Yeah. 250 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,025 Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. 251 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,693 Just give me a chance to figure that out. 252 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,195 Well, then can we meet him? 253 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,489 No. Sorry. 254 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,617 - And lamb chop.. - 'Ooh, lamb chop.' 255 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,077 How old is that sock? 256 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,955 If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years 257 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,582 it'd be talking too. 258 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,711 Okay, I think it's time to change 259 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,088 somebody's nicotine patch. 260 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:28,218 Hey! Where's Joey? 261 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,805 Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. 262 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,267 Do you think that was wrong? 263 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,312 I think he's across the hall. 264 00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:39,647 Thanks. 265 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,066 There you go. 266 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:45,444 Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now. 267 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,155 Hey, Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart? 268 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,282 Pheebs? 269 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,118 Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart? 270 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,331 Hey, I might. 271 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,124 Sorry. 272 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,001 You know, those stupid soda people gave me 273 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,836 seven thousand dollars for the thumb. 274 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,838 - Oh, my God! - Seven thousand dollars? 275 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,841 And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. 276 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,303 What is up with the universe? 277 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,930 - What's goin' on? - Nothing. 278 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,139 I just think it's nice when 279 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:15,641 we're all here together. 280 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:16,976 Even nicer when everyone gets 281 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,311 to wear their underwear. 282 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,525 - Uh, Joey. - Oh, God! 283 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:27,987 Okay. 284 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,530 - Oh, come on. - That was lamb chop! 285 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,824 Please, guys, we have to talk. 286 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,702 Wait, wait, I'm getting a Deja Vu. 287 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,203 No, I'm not. 288 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,873 Alright, we have to talk. 289 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,042 There it is! 290 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,006 Okay. It's, it's about Alan. 291 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,883 There's something that you should know. 292 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:54,221 [sighs] Oh, man, there's really no easy way to say this, uh. 293 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,391 I've decided to break up with Alan. 294 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,226 [all sighs] 295 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,399 Is there somebody else? 296 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,069 No, no, no. It's just.. 297 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,363 You know, things change. 298 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,531 People change. 299 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,575 We didn't change. 300 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,246 So that's it? It's over? 301 00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:22,040 Just like that? 302 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,918 You know, you let your guard down. 303 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,754 You know, you start to really care about someone. 304 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,213 And I just.. I.. 305 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,761 Look, I, I could go on pretending-- 306 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,554 - Okay. - 'No!' 307 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,598 But that wouldn't be fair to me. It wouldn't be fair to Alan. 308 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,893 - It wouldn't be fair to you. - Yeah, well, who wants fair? 309 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:44,730 I mean, I just want things back. You know, the way they were. 310 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,568 - I'm sorry. - Oh, she's sorry! 311 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,403 I feel better. 312 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,406 I just can't believe this. 313 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,617 I mean, with the holidays coming up.. 314 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,369 ...I wanted him to meet my family. 315 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,914 I'll meet someone else. 316 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,123 There'll be other Alans. 317 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,250 - No! - Oh, yeah, right. 318 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:13,467 - Are you guys gonna be okay? - Hey, hey, we'll be fine. 319 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,302 We're just gonna need a little time. 320 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,972 I understand. 321 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,645 [sighs] Wow! 322 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,605 I'm, I'm really sorry. 323 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,775 Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry too. 324 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,444 But, I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved. 325 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,487 Relieved? 326 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,738 Yeah, well, I mean 327 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,281 I had a great time with you. 328 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,451 I just can't stand your friends. 329 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,663 [instrumental music] 330 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,084 (Joey) ...95, 96, 97. 331 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:47,960 See, I told you. 332 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,044 Less than a hundred steps 333 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,046 from our place to here. 334 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,966 You got way too much free time. 335 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:57,302 Hey, there's the birthday boy. 336 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,178 Ross, check it out. 337 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,180 Hockey tickets, Rangers Penguins 338 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,890 tonight at the Garden and we're taking you. 339 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,267 Happy birthday, pal. 340 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,393 We love you, man. 341 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,395 [chuckles] 342 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:09,690 That's funny. My birthday was seven months ago. 343 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,899 So? 344 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,442 So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket 345 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:16,238 and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date, huh? 346 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:20,242 Well, aren't we Mr. The-glass-is-half-empty? 347 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,952 Oh, my God. Oh. 348 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,037 Is today the 20th, October 20th? 349 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,747 I was hoping you wouldn't remember. 350 00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:26,957 [groans] 351 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,458 What's wrong with the 20th? 352 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,918 Eleven days before Halloween.. 353 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,130 ...all the good costumes are gone? 354 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:36,258 Today's the day Carol and I first.. 355 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,511 ...consummated our.. 356 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,889 ...physical relationship. 357 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,434 With sex. 358 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,062 You know what? I'd better pass on the game. 359 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,940 I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife 360 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,942 and her lesbian lover. 361 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,447 To hell with hockey. Let's all do that. 362 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,284 Come on, Ross. You, me, Joey 363 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,577 ice, guys night out. 364 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,828 Come on. What do you say, big guy? 365 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,246 Huh? Huh? Huh? 366 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:09,208 - What are you doin'? - I have no idea. 367 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,542 Come on, Ross. 368 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,795 Alright. Alright. Maybe it will take my mind off it. 369 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,672 You promise to buy me a big foam finger? 370 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,341 - You got it. - Alright. 371 00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,218 Look. Look. Look. My first paycheck. 372 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,052 [cheering] 373 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,470 Look at the window. 374 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,306 There's my name! Hi, me! 375 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,310 I remember the day I got my first paycheck. 376 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,978 There was a cave-in in one of the mines. 377 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,774 And eight people were killed. 378 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,525 Wow. You worked in a mine? 379 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,195 I worked at a Dairy Queen. Why? 380 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,284 God! Isn't this exciting? I earned this. 381 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,954 I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk for it. 382 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,498 And it was totally.. 383 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,959 ...not worth it. 384 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,878 Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? 385 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:57,631 I mean, what? 386 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,132 Chandler, look at that. 387 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,803 Oh. This is not that bad. 388 00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:05,806 Oh. You're fine, yeah, for a first job. 389 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,767 You can totally, totally live on this. 390 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,353 (Monica) 'Oh, yeah. Yeah.' 391 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,563 Hey, by the way, great service today. 392 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,690 - Oh! - Yeah! 393 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,108 Terrific. 394 00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,570 [instrumental music] 395 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,410 Excuse me. 396 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:27,995 It says to call this number 397 00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:29,538 if you're not completely satisfied 398 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,665 with this candy bar. 399 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,170 Well, I'm not completely satisfied. 400 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:39,923 Listen, it's kind of an emergency. 401 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,383 Well, I guess you'd know that 402 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:42,676 or we'd be in the predicament room. 403 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,052 [Chandler chuckles] 404 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:46,930 Hold on. 405 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,099 Fill these out. Sit over there. 406 00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,685 Look, look, look, I don't want to make any trouble, okay? 407 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,312 But I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? 408 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:56,023 My face is dented. 409 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,733 Well, you'll have to wait your turn. 410 00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,902 Well, how long do you think it'll be? 411 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,529 Any minute now. 412 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,905 [scoffs] 413 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,199 Hey, miss.. 414 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,951 Hey.. 415 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,537 (Ross) I remember the moonlight 416 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,497 coming in through the open window 417 00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:16,293 and her face had the most incredible glow. 418 00:22:16,376 --> 00:22:18,545 Yes, the moon, the glow 419 00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,547 the magical feeling, you did this part. 420 00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:23,633 Could I get some painkillers over here, please? 421 00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:25,719 He's right. Enough already. 422 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:28,472 What is the big deal about today? 423 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,350 So you slept with her for the first time. So what? 424 00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:34,102 You slept with her for seven years after that. 425 00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:37,230 Look, it's just a little more complicated. 426 00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,690 Well, what? What? What is it? 427 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,692 That she left you, that she likes women 428 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:42,819 that she left you for another woman that likes women? 429 00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:43,862 A little louder, okay? 430 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:44,905 I think, there's a man 431 00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:46,073 on the 12th floor in a coma 432 00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:48,075 who didn't quite hear you. 433 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,163 Then what? 434 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:55,957 My first time with Carol was.. 435 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,085 [whispering] It was my first time. 436 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:00,670 What? 437 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:06,760 It was my first...time. 438 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,222 With Carol? 439 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:17,104 Oh. 440 00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:18,772 So in your whole life 441 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:21,233 you've only been with one...oh. 442 00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:26,655 Whoa, boy, hockey was a big mistake. 443 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:30,742 There's a whole bunch of stuff we could have done tonight. 444 00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:34,788 Man, can you believe he's only had sex with one woman? 445 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,417 I think it's great. 446 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:42,087 You know, it's sweet, it's romantic.. 447 00:23:43,713 --> 00:23:45,549 - Really? - Nah. You kiddin'? 448 00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,634 The guy's a freak. I judge him. 449 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:49,886 - Hey! - 'Hey, buddy!' 450 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:51,054 Huh? Huh? 451 00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:57,477 Oh...that's attractive. 452 00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:02,607 Oh, I thought you were great in "Silence of the Lambs." 453 00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:06,570 Oh, come on, admit it! 454 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:08,321 All things considered, you had fun tonight. 455 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:09,698 Fun? Where was the fun? 456 00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:12,742 Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? 457 00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:13,577 Where's my puck? 458 00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:15,287 Oh, ah, the kid has it. 459 00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:17,247 The kid.. 460 00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:20,667 [clears throat] Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck. 461 00:24:20,750 --> 00:24:24,463 I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. 462 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,760 You gotta do it, man. 463 00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:34,139 Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever.. 464 00:24:34,222 --> 00:24:36,266 Can't do it. 465 00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:38,435 Listen, uh, gimme back my puck. 466 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:39,603 No. 467 00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:40,770 - Yes, how about-- - No. 468 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,439 - Come here. Gimme! - No. No. 469 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:45,108 (Sizemore) 'Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!' 470 00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:46,485 Give me my puck! 471 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,070 Oh! 472 00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:53,783 Now that was fun. 473 00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:57,078 [instrumental music] 474 00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:02,250 So, Saturday night, the big night. 475 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:03,335 Date night, Saturday night. 476 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,629 Sa-tur-day night. 477 00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:10,217 - No plans, huh? - Not a one. 478 00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:13,011 Not even, say, breaking up with Janice? 479 00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:15,347 Oh, right, right. Shut up. 480 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:19,601 Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. 481 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:22,062 - 'You just gotta do it' - No, I know. 482 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,438 But it's just so hard, y'know? 483 00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:25,148 I mean, you're sitting there with her. 484 00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:26,900 She has no idea what's happening. 485 00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:29,152 And then you finally get up the courage to do it 486 00:25:30,111 --> 00:25:31,571 and there's that horrible awkward moment 487 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:34,157 when you've handed her the note and.. 488 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:39,204 Uh, why do you have to break up with her? 489 00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:42,249 Be a man. Just stop callin'. 490 00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:46,670 You know, if-if you want, I'll do it with you. 491 00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:48,713 Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like 492 00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:49,839 we're ganging up on her. 493 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,092 No, I mean, you break up with Janice. 494 00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:53,635 - And I'll break up with Tony. - 'Tony?' 495 00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,637 - You're breaking up with Tony? - Yeah. 496 00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:57,931 I know he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore. 497 00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:00,433 You know, I don't know if it's me or his hunger strike 498 00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:02,352 or I don't know. 499 00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:05,564 Does anybody want anything else? 500 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,857 Oh, yeah, last week, you had a wonderful nutty 501 00:26:08,024 --> 00:26:10,694 chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing that.. 502 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,030 Nothing. Just-just.. I'm fine. 503 00:26:15,865 --> 00:26:17,659 What's the matter? Why so scrunchy? 504 00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:19,828 Oh, it's my father. 505 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,122 He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible. 506 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,208 That guy, he burns me up. 507 00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:29,129 Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. 508 00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:30,672 - Oh! - Ugh, it was horrible. 509 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:32,382 He called me young lady. 510 00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:35,677 Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that. 511 00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,470 Did he give you that whole 512 00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:38,763 "You're not up to this " again? 513 00:26:38,888 --> 00:26:40,140 Oh, yeah, yeah, actually I got 514 00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:42,517 the extended disco version with three choruses 515 00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:44,894 of "You'll never make it on your own." 516 00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:47,230 ♪ Uh-huh uh-huh 517 00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,901 Hi, Joey. 518 00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,446 - Oh, my God. Angela. - Wow. 519 00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:57,282 Being dumped by you obviously agrees with her. 520 00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,909 - Are you gonna go over? - No. 521 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:01,703 Yeah. No. 522 00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:05,749 Okay, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. 523 00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:11,087 One Mississippi, two Mississippi 524 00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:13,590 three Mississippi, that seems pretty cool. 525 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:15,091 Yeah. 526 00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,687 Coming through. Move. Move! 527 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,402 Oh, excuse-excuse me. 528 00:27:35,236 --> 00:27:36,446 I was kind of using that machine. 529 00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:39,240 Yeah, well, now you're kind of not. 530 00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:42,911 But I-I saved it. I put my basket on top. 531 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:45,413 Oh, I'm sorry. Is that your basket? 532 00:27:45,455 --> 00:27:47,082 - Yes. Yeah. - It's really pretty. 533 00:27:47,290 --> 00:27:50,210 Unfortunately, I don't see suds. 534 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:53,213 What? 535 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:57,467 No suds, no save, okay? 536 00:27:59,969 --> 00:28:02,305 - What's going on? - Hi, um, nothing. 537 00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,433 This horrible woman just took my machine. 538 00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:07,143 Was your basket on top? 539 00:28:07,477 --> 00:28:09,813 - Yeah, but there were no suds. - So? 540 00:28:10,146 --> 00:28:11,773 Well, you know, no suds, no save. 541 00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:13,608 No suds, no.. Excuse me. 542 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,235 Hold on a second. 543 00:28:15,902 --> 00:28:17,070 This is my friend's machine. 544 00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:20,281 Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it. 545 00:28:20,573 --> 00:28:24,452 Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it. 546 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:37,465 Alright. Show's over. 547 00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:41,678 Nothing to see here. 548 00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:46,182 Okay. Let's do laundry. 549 00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:48,601 - That was amazing. - Well.. 550 00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:50,353 I can't even send back soup. 551 00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:52,188 Well, that's-that's because... 552 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:55,108 you're such a sweet, gentle, uh.. 553 00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:58,194 Um, uh, do you, uh.. 554 00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,697 Do you-oh! hey, you must need detergent. 555 00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:01,531 Oh! 556 00:29:05,326 --> 00:29:07,662 - What's that? - "Überweiss." 557 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,206 It's, uh, it's new. It's German. 558 00:29:10,206 --> 00:29:12,333 It's extra tough. 559 00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:16,004 Rach, do you, uh.. Are you gonna separate those? 560 00:29:17,046 --> 00:29:21,676 Oh, God. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spazz? 561 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,554 I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts... 562 00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:26,014 and another machine for pants? 563 00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:32,562 Have you, have you never done this before? 564 00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:36,232 Well, not myself but I w other people that have. 565 00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,570 Okay. You caught me. I'm a laundry virgin. 566 00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:46,743 Uh, well, don't worry. I'll use the gentle cycle. 567 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:48,870 Okay, um.. 568 00:29:50,079 --> 00:29:53,917 Uh, basically, you wanna use one machine for all your whites. 569 00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:54,918 - Whites. - Okay? 570 00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:57,420 A whole other machine for-for your colors. 571 00:29:57,712 --> 00:30:01,883 And-and a third for, uh, your, uh ... ha! 572 00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,218 uh... delicates. 573 00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:08,890 and that would be your bras and your... underpant-y things. 574 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:13,937 Okay, well, what about.. These are white cotton panties. 575 00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,563 Would they go with whites or with delicates? 576 00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:19,234 Uh, that-that.. That would be a judgment call. 577 00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:25,365 Ta-da! 578 00:30:26,282 --> 00:30:27,951 Are we greeting each otr this way now 579 00:30:27,951 --> 00:30:29,452 because I like that. 580 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,956 Look. I cleaned! 581 00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:34,999 I did the windows. I did the floors! 582 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,252 I even used all those attachments on the vacuum 583 00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:39,504 except for that little round one with the bristles 584 00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:40,588 I don't know what that's for. 585 00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:41,631 Ah, yeah. Nobody knows. 586 00:30:41,714 --> 00:30:43,299 And we're not supposed to ask. 587 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:45,260 Well, what do you think? 588 00:30:45,301 --> 00:30:46,344 - Very clean. - It's great! 589 00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:48,179 - Really, it looks great. - Very clean. 590 00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:55,019 Oh, I see you moved the green ottoman. 591 00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:57,188 (together) Uh-oh. 592 00:30:59,148 --> 00:31:00,692 H-how did that happen? 593 00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:04,237 I don't know. I-I thougt it looked better there. 594 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:07,866 And I.. Also it's an extra seat around the coffee table. 595 00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:10,952 Yeah, it's-it's interesting. 596 00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:14,706 But you know what? Just for fun. 597 00:31:15,081 --> 00:31:17,792 Let's see what it looked like in the old spot. 598 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,462 Just to compare. Let's see... 599 00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:24,132 Ha. Well, it looks good there too. 600 00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:26,843 Let's just leave it there for a while. 601 00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:30,763 Can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. 602 00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:34,058 Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. 603 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:35,727 I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out. 604 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:38,229 Guys, I am not that bad. 605 00:31:38,771 --> 00:31:40,273 Yeah, you are, Monica. 606 00:31:41,274 --> 00:31:42,859 Remember when I lived with you? 607 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:44,277 You were like a little, you know.. 608 00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:46,988 [mimicking Psycho theme] 609 00:31:48,948 --> 00:31:50,241 That is so unfair. 610 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:52,118 Oh, come on. When we were kids 611 00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:53,494 yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll 612 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,580 that wasn't raggedy. 613 00:31:57,290 --> 00:32:00,168 Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized. 614 00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:01,920 But, hey, I can be a kook. 615 00:32:02,170 --> 00:32:03,379 Oh. 616 00:32:04,547 --> 00:32:06,633 Alright, you madcap gal. 617 00:32:08,134 --> 00:32:09,052 Try to imagine this. 618 00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:10,845 The phone bill arrives 619 00:32:11,137 --> 00:32:13,222 but you don't pay it right away. 620 00:32:13,556 --> 00:32:14,015 Why not? 621 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,267 Because you're a 'kook'. 622 00:32:17,810 --> 00:32:20,647 Instead, you wait until they send you a notice. 623 00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:22,649 I could do that. 624 00:32:22,982 --> 00:32:27,111 Okay, okay, then you let me go grocery shopping 625 00:32:27,487 --> 00:32:29,364 and I buy laundry detergent 626 00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:32,659 but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. 627 00:32:32,992 --> 00:32:34,953 Why would someone do that? 628 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,414 One might wonder. 629 00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:41,417 Someone's left a glass on the coffee table 630 00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:44,087 There's no coaster. It'a cold drink, it's a hot day. 631 00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:46,881 Little beads of condensation are inching 632 00:32:46,881 --> 00:32:49,550 their way closer and clr to the surface of the world. 633 00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:50,802 Stop it! 634 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,431 Oh, my God. 635 00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:57,684 It's true. Who am I? 636 00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:00,311 Monica, you're mom. 637 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,270 [gasps] 638 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,815 [mimicking Psycho theme] 639 00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:08,194 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 640 00:33:08,611 --> 00:33:10,655 'Oh, my God!' 641 00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:11,906 Okay! 642 00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:14,117 Okay, I'll be there. 643 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,079 That was my agent. 644 00:33:19,914 --> 00:33:22,625 My agent has just gotten me a job 645 00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:24,877 in the new Al Pacino movie! 646 00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,130 - What? - You're kidding! 647 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:30,133 - What's the part? - Can you believe this? 648 00:33:30,133 --> 00:33:31,175 Al Pacino! 649 00:33:31,384 --> 00:33:33,553 This guy's the reason I became an actor. 650 00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,013 [imitating Al Pacino] "I'm out of order? Pha." 651 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:36,014 "You're out of order!" 652 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:38,474 "This whole courtroom's out of order!" 653 00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,561 Seriously, what-what's the part? 654 00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:43,229 "Just when I thought I was out" 655 00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:45,523 "they pull me back in." 656 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,026 Come on, seriously, Joey, what's the part? 657 00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:49,277 Uh.. 658 00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:50,987 [mumbling] 659 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:51,696 You're.. 660 00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:53,406 [mumbling] ...what? 661 00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:57,618 I'm his butt double, ok? 662 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:04,292 I play Al Pacino's butt. 663 00:34:06,502 --> 00:34:09,088 Alright? He goes into the showe. 664 00:34:09,088 --> 00:34:11,299 and then I'm his butt. 665 00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:15,303 - Oh, my God. - Come on, you guys. 666 00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:16,512 This is a real movie 667 00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:18,639 and Al Pacino's in it and that's big. 668 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,600 Oh, no, it's terrific, it's, it's.. 669 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,518 You know, you deserve it, after all your years 670 00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:23,686 of struggling you've finally been able 671 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,688 to crack your way into show business. 672 00:34:29,275 --> 00:34:31,903 Okay, fine, make jokes. I don't care. 673 00:34:32,110 --> 00:34:33,820 This is a big break for me. 674 00:34:33,821 --> 00:34:35,156 No, you're right, you're right, it is. 675 00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:38,576 So, you gonna invite us all to the big opening? 676 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:39,035 [laughing] 677 00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:41,954 [instrumental music] 678 00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:48,086 Look at it this way. You dumped her! 679 00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:53,508 Right? I mean, this-this woman was unbelievably sexy 680 00:34:53,674 --> 00:34:57,011 and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... 681 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:01,015 Tell me why you did this again. 682 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:03,768 - 'Hey!' - 'Hey!' 683 00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:04,769 Movie star! 684 00:35:05,311 --> 00:35:06,312 Hey. Wait, a minute. 685 00:35:06,312 --> 00:35:07,605 Aren't you the guy who plays the butt 686 00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:09,690 in the new Al Pacino movie? 687 00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:12,110 Nope. 688 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:15,113 No? What happened, big guy? 689 00:35:15,446 --> 00:35:16,280 'Big guy'? 690 00:35:18,866 --> 00:35:21,119 It felt like a 'big guy' moment. 691 00:35:22,036 --> 00:35:23,913 - I got fired! - Oh! 692 00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,958 Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. 693 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:31,045 I told everybody about this. 694 00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:33,214 Now everyone's gonna go to the theatre expecting to see me and- 695 00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:35,967 Joey, you know what? No one is gonna be able to tell. 696 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,760 My mom will. 697 00:35:39,846 --> 00:35:41,514 Something so sweet and.. 698 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,641 ...disturbing about that. 699 00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:48,813 You know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years.. 700 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:51,816 and I finally get my shot...and I blow it! 701 00:35:51,899 --> 00:35:53,568 Wait a minute. Maybe this wasn't your shot. 702 00:35:53,901 --> 00:35:55,570 Yeah. I-I think when it's your shot 703 00:35:55,653 --> 00:35:57,488 you know, you-you know it's your shot. 704 00:35:57,655 --> 00:36:01,159 Did...did it feel like your shot? 705 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,787 Hard to tell. I was naked. 706 00:36:05,788 --> 00:36:07,415 You know, I don't think this was your shot. 707 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:09,458 I mean, I don't even think you just get 'one' shot. 708 00:36:10,042 --> 00:36:12,587 I really believe big things are gonna happen for you. 709 00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:13,045 I do! 710 00:36:13,087 --> 00:36:15,339 And you've gotta just keep thinking about 711 00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:17,717 the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go... 712 00:36:17,758 --> 00:36:19,468 "I got the part! I got the part!" 713 00:36:19,510 --> 00:36:21,179 "I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!" 714 00:36:24,932 --> 00:36:27,143 You think? That's so nice. 715 00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:30,938 - Aw, come on. - Come here. 716 00:36:33,649 --> 00:36:35,985 I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys. 717 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,112 - Good night. - Good night, Monica. 718 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,698 Uh, Mon, you, you're goa leave your shoes out here? 719 00:36:42,658 --> 00:36:43,951 Uh-huh. 720 00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:48,164 Really? Just-just casually strewn about 721 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,375 in that reckless, haphazard manner? 722 00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:56,297 Doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or- not! 723 00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:00,009 Whenever. 724 00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,722 She is a kook. 725 00:37:06,557 --> 00:37:08,684 [instrumental music] 726 00:37:11,103 --> 00:37:12,104 (Rachel) 'Okay, come on, somebody, somebody.' 727 00:37:12,104 --> 00:37:13,773 (Monica) 'Alright, I'll go, I'll go. 728 00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:17,693 Okay, um, senior year of college on a pool table. 729 00:37:18,444 --> 00:37:19,862 - Ooh-hoo-hoo! - Pool table! 730 00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:22,949 That's my sister. 731 00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:24,283 Okay, okay. 732 00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:26,535 My weirdest place would have to be.. 733 00:37:27,453 --> 00:37:29,121 ...the women's room on the second floor 734 00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:31,666 of the New York City public library. 735 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:33,125 Oh, my God. 736 00:37:33,292 --> 00:37:35,711 What were you doing in a library? 737 00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,339 Hey, Pheebs, what about you? 738 00:37:38,547 --> 00:37:40,716 Oh, um, Milwaukee. 739 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,389 Uh, Ross? 740 00:37:47,223 --> 00:37:50,935 [clears throat] Disneyland, 1989.. 741 00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:53,562 "It's a small world after all." 742 00:37:54,689 --> 00:37:55,439 No way. 743 00:37:55,731 --> 00:37:57,316 Yeah, the, uh, the ride broke down 744 00:37:57,358 --> 00:38:00,236 so Carol and I went behd a couple of those 745 00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:02,321 mechanical Dutch children. 746 00:38:03,030 --> 00:38:04,573 Then they fixed the ride 747 00:38:04,573 --> 00:38:08,077 and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. 748 00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:09,578 Ooh, Rachel? 749 00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:10,830 Oh, come on, I already went. 750 00:38:11,330 --> 00:38:12,373 - 'No.' - You did not go! 751 00:38:12,581 --> 00:38:13,833 - Yes, I did. - 'Come on tell us!' 752 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:15,001 - Come on. - Come on. 753 00:38:15,418 --> 00:38:15,710 Alright, uh.. 754 00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:19,922 ...the weirdest place would have to be.. 755 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,885 ...the foot of the bed. 756 00:38:26,262 --> 00:38:28,681 - Step back. - We have a winner! 757 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,441 I've just never... had a relationship 758 00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:39,900 with that kind of passion y'know? 759 00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:41,444 Where-where you have to have somebody 760 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:43,279 right there, in the middle of a themepark. 761 00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:48,159 Well, it was the only thing to do there 762 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:48,951 that didn't have a line. 763 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,457 Alright, well, see, I mean... Barry wouldn't even kiss me 764 00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:56,292 on a miniature-golf course. 765 00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:57,460 - Come on. - No. 766 00:38:57,460 --> 00:38:59,253 He said we were "holding up the people behind us." 767 00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:03,591 And you didn't marry him, because? 768 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:06,302 I mean, do you think.. 769 00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:08,637 ...there are people that go through life 770 00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:10,681 never having that kind of ...? 771 00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:12,975 - Probably. - Really? 772 00:39:13,142 --> 00:39:14,727 Well, you know, I'll tell you something. 773 00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:16,562 Passion is way overrated. 774 00:39:16,645 --> 00:39:18,356 - Yeah, right. - It is. 775 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:20,816 Uh, eventually, it kind of burns out. 776 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,320 But hopefully, what you're left with is trust.. 777 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,197 and security and, uh.. 778 00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:29,283 ...well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. 779 00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:36,123 So, you know, for all those people who miss out 780 00:39:36,123 --> 00:39:38,542 on that, uh, passion thing. 781 00:39:38,584 --> 00:39:40,086 ...there's all that other good stuff. 782 00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:42,838 [sighs] Okay. 783 00:39:43,422 --> 00:39:45,841 But, um, but I don't thk that's gonna be you. 784 00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:47,468 - You don't? - Mm. 785 00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:49,178 See, I see, uh.. 786 00:39:50,096 --> 00:39:52,056 ...big passion in your future. 787 00:39:52,598 --> 00:39:53,432 - Really? - Hmm. 788 00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:55,184 - You do? - I do. 789 00:39:55,684 --> 00:39:58,813 Oh, Ross, you're so great. 790 00:40:09,031 --> 00:40:11,075 It's never gonna happen. 791 00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:19,959 - What? - You and Rachel. 792 00:40:20,209 --> 00:40:21,710 [chuckles] 793 00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:27,341 [mumbling] 794 00:40:29,343 --> 00:40:30,970 Why not? 795 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,890 Because you waited too long to make your move. 796 00:40:34,890 --> 00:40:37,059 and now you're in the "friend zone". 797 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:41,355 No, no, no. I'm not in the zone. 798 00:40:41,355 --> 00:40:43,774 No, Ross. You're mayor of the zone! 799 00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:47,570 Look, I'm taking my time, alright? 800 00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:49,405 I'm-I'm-I'm laying the groundwork. 801 00:40:49,905 --> 00:40:51,240 Yeah, I mean, every day I get 802 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:53,033 just a little bit closer to, uh-- 803 00:40:53,033 --> 00:40:54,535 Priesthood! 804 00:40:56,537 --> 00:41:00,166 Ross, I'm telling you, she no idea, what you're thinking 805 00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,584 And if you don't ask her out soon.. 806 00:41:01,792 --> 00:41:04,336 ...you're gonna end up stuck in the zone forever 807 00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:08,132 See, I'm waiting for the, uh, the right moment. 808 00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:10,843 [sighs] 809 00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:12,595 What? 810 00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,848 - What, now? - Yeah. 811 00:41:16,932 --> 00:41:18,267 What's messing you up? The wine? 812 00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:21,604 The candles? The moonlight? Huh? 813 00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,647 You just gotta go up tor and you gotta say 814 00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:25,691 - "Look, Rachel, I think- " - Shh-shh. 815 00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:28,068 - Shh-shh. - What are we shushing? 816 00:41:28,068 --> 00:41:32,865 We're shushing...because trying to-to hear something. 817 00:41:32,948 --> 00:41:36,410 - What? What? - Uh, don't you hear that? 818 00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:41,290 Ah. 819 00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:43,542 - See? - Huh. 820 00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:50,382 ♪ New York City has no power 821 00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:54,053 ♪ And the milk is getting sour ♪ 822 00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:57,848 ♪ But to me it is not scary 823 00:41:58,182 --> 00:42:02,603 ♪ 'Cause I stay away from dairy ♪ 824 00:42:04,104 --> 00:42:07,274 ♪ La la la la 825 00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:12,947 - Okay. Here goes. - You're gonna do it? 826 00:42:13,113 --> 00:42:14,448 - I'm gonna do it. - You want me to help? 827 00:42:14,615 --> 00:42:17,076 You come out there, you're a dead man. 828 00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:18,452 Ross, Ross. 829 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,372 Good luck, man. 830 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:22,414 Thanks. 831 00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:28,379 - Okay. - Okay. 832 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:33,634 - Hey, where are you going? - Outside. 833 00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:35,344 No-no, you-you can't go out there. 834 00:42:35,427 --> 00:42:39,265 - Why not? - Because of, uh, the reason. 835 00:42:41,141 --> 00:42:44,645 - And that would be? - I, uh, I can't tell you 836 00:42:44,937 --> 00:42:45,771 Joey, what's going on? 837 00:42:46,730 --> 00:42:48,941 Okay, listen, you gotta promise 838 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:51,318 you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you. 839 00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:52,319 About what? 840 00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:54,947 He's planning your birthday party. 841 00:42:56,323 --> 00:42:59,743 - Oh, my God. I love him. - You better act surprised. 842 00:43:00,035 --> 00:43:01,787 - About what? - My surprise party. 843 00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,498 - What surprise party? - Oh, stop it. 844 00:43:04,873 --> 00:43:06,500 Joey already told me. 845 00:43:07,334 --> 00:43:08,210 Well, he didn't tell me. 846 00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:11,839 Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross' thing. 847 00:43:12,673 --> 00:43:15,801 This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything. 848 00:43:16,051 --> 00:43:18,053 No, you are not. We tell you stuff. 849 00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:20,973 Uh-huh, I was the last one to know 850 00:43:21,307 --> 00:43:23,976 When Chandler got bit by the peacock at the zoo. 851 00:43:24,351 --> 00:43:25,978 I was the last to know, when you had a crush 852 00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:27,479 on Joey when he was moving in... 853 00:43:27,646 --> 00:43:28,480 What? 854 00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:32,985 Oh. Well, it looks like I was second to last. 855 00:43:37,156 --> 00:43:39,033 Hmm. It's so nice. 856 00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:40,242 Hmm. 857 00:43:44,496 --> 00:43:45,581 Hey, I have a question. 858 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,003 Well, uh, actually, it's not so much a question.. 859 00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:54,173 ...it's more of a-a general wondering... 860 00:43:54,506 --> 00:43:55,841 ...ment. 861 00:43:56,508 --> 00:43:57,885 - Okay. - Okay. 862 00:43:58,052 --> 00:43:59,678 Uh, here goes. 863 00:44:02,556 --> 00:44:06,560 Um, well, for a while now, I've been wanting...to. 864 00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,688 - Oh. - Yes, yes, that's.. 865 00:44:09,938 --> 00:44:12,358 - Look at that little cat... - That's right. 866 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:14,443 What? 867 00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:15,527 [screaming] 868 00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:18,989 ♪ I'm on the top of the world looking ♪ 869 00:44:18,989 --> 00:44:20,866 ♪ down on creation 870 00:44:20,866 --> 00:44:25,120 ♪ And the only explanation I can find ♪ 871 00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:28,165 ♪ Is the love that I found 872 00:44:29,249 --> 00:44:31,377 ♪ Ever since you've been around.. ♪ 873 00:44:33,128 --> 00:44:34,963 Alright, this is just Bactine. It won't hurt. 874 00:44:37,883 --> 00:44:38,717 Ow! Ow! 875 00:44:39,176 --> 00:44:41,095 Sorry, that was wax. 876 00:44:42,596 --> 00:44:45,683 Oh...poor little Tootie is scared to death. 877 00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:46,892 We should find his owner. 878 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:48,560 Why don't we just put the poor little "Tootie" 879 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:49,728 out in the hall? 880 00:44:50,604 --> 00:44:53,440 During a blackout? She'll get trampled. 881 00:44:53,649 --> 00:44:54,983 Yeah. 882 00:44:58,153 --> 00:45:00,322 [instrumental music] 883 00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:04,702 Hey, gorgeous. How's it going? 884 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,038 Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights. 885 00:45:08,747 --> 00:45:10,874 Does it get better than this? 886 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,378 Question, you're not dating anybody, are you? 887 00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:16,922 Because I met somebody who would be perfect for you. 888 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:18,799 Ah, you see, perfect might be a problem. 889 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:22,886 Had you said, co-dependent or self-destructive... 890 00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:26,181 - Do you want a date, Saturday? - Yes, please. 891 00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:27,307 Okay. 892 00:45:28,016 --> 00:45:29,935 He is cute, he's funny,- 893 00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:33,147 - He's a "he"? - Well, yeah. 894 00:45:33,772 --> 00:45:34,356 Oh, God. 895 00:45:35,023 --> 00:45:36,358 I just...I thought.. 896 00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:40,028 ...you're not, so. Good, Shelly. Okay. 897 00:45:40,028 --> 00:45:42,614 I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now. 898 00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:44,867 Okay. Bye-bye. 899 00:45:47,661 --> 00:45:50,038 (Chandler) It's hard to enjoy cup of ramen noodles after that. 900 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:51,707 I mean, is that ridiculous? 901 00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:54,334 Can you believe she actually thought that? 902 00:45:54,626 --> 00:45:56,462 Um.. 903 00:45:56,795 --> 00:45:57,838 ...yeah. 904 00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:00,883 Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know 905 00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:05,220 I thought maybe.. Possibly you might be. 906 00:46:06,472 --> 00:46:07,931 - You did? - Yeah, but then. 907 00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:09,933 But then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party 908 00:46:10,058 --> 00:46:11,018 talking to my breasts 909 00:46:11,059 --> 00:46:12,519 so then I figured maybe not. 910 00:46:14,354 --> 00:46:18,275 Huh, did uh...any of the rest of you guys think that 911 00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:19,359 when you first met me? 912 00:46:19,568 --> 00:46:21,487 - I did. - Yeah, I think so, yeah. 913 00:46:23,363 --> 00:46:24,865 - Not me. - No, no, me neither. 914 00:46:26,116 --> 00:46:29,411 Although, uh, you know, back in college, Susan Salid. 915 00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:30,954 You're kidding. 916 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,707 - Did you tell her I was... - No. 917 00:46:35,209 --> 00:46:36,543 Well, it's just 'cause uh... 918 00:46:36,543 --> 00:46:37,961 I wanted to go out with her too. 919 00:46:38,086 --> 00:46:40,214 So I told her, actually 920 00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:42,424 you were seeing Bernie Spellman 921 00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:45,552 who also liked her, so.. 922 00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:52,392 Well, this is fascinating. 923 00:46:53,101 --> 00:46:54,978 So, uh, what is it about me? 924 00:46:55,395 --> 00:46:56,230 I don't know. 925 00:46:57,064 --> 00:46:58,398 'cause you're smart, you're funny-- 926 00:46:58,565 --> 00:47:01,109 Ross is smart and funny. You ever think that about him? 927 00:47:01,527 --> 00:47:02,861 Yeah! Right! 928 00:47:03,237 --> 00:47:03,946 What is it? 929 00:47:04,321 --> 00:47:05,739 [laughing] 930 00:47:06,281 --> 00:47:07,407 Okay, I-I don't know. 931 00:47:07,407 --> 00:47:09,409 You-you just...you have a quality. 932 00:47:09,451 --> 00:47:10,619 - Yes, right. - Exactly. 933 00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:12,287 Yeah, a quality. 934 00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,122 Oh, oh, a quality, good. 935 00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:15,582 Because I was worried you guys were gonna be 936 00:47:15,582 --> 00:47:16,250 vague about this. 937 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:18,460 [instrumental music] 938 00:47:18,961 --> 00:47:20,128 How we doing? You guys ready? 939 00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:21,797 So, mom already called this morning 940 00:47:21,797 --> 00:47:23,382 to remind me not to wear my hair up. 941 00:47:23,715 --> 00:47:25,717 Did you know my ears were not my best feature? 942 00:47:26,260 --> 00:47:28,053 Some days it's all I can think about. 943 00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:30,848 Hi, I'm sorry I'm late. 944 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:32,307 I couldn't find my bearings. 945 00:47:32,599 --> 00:47:34,852 Oh, you-you mean your earrings? 946 00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:36,562 What did I say? 947 00:47:37,145 --> 00:47:37,813 [Rachel clears throat] 948 00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:40,148 - Are these the shoes? - Yes. 949 00:47:40,399 --> 00:47:41,984 Paolo sent them from It. 950 00:47:42,150 --> 00:47:45,070 What we.. We don't have shoes here? 951 00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:49,157 Morning, are we ready to go? 952 00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:51,702 Well, don't we look nice all dressed up. 953 00:47:53,328 --> 00:47:55,414 It's stuff like that, isn't it? 954 00:47:55,956 --> 00:47:58,083 [instrumental music] 955 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,424 [dramatic music] 956 00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:08,760 (Monica) It was really a beautiful service. 957 00:48:09,177 --> 00:48:10,637 It really was. 958 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:14,349 Oh, come here, sweetheart. 959 00:48:17,936 --> 00:48:18,854 You know 960 00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:22,983 I think it might be time you to start using night cream. 961 00:48:28,947 --> 00:48:30,574 - What? - Nothing, nothing. 962 00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:34,620 Just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Musburger. 963 00:48:34,828 --> 00:48:35,871 Check it out. 964 00:48:36,330 --> 00:48:37,205 Giants, Cowboys. 965 00:48:38,248 --> 00:48:40,042 You're watching a football game at a funeral. 966 00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:42,085 No, it's the pre-game. 967 00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:44,046 I'm gonna watch it at the reception. 968 00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:47,341 You're a frightening, frightening man. 969 00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,261 Oh, no. My new Paolo shoes. 970 00:48:51,553 --> 00:48:53,889 Oh, I hope they're not ruined. 971 00:48:57,893 --> 00:49:00,062 God, what a great day. 972 00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:03,148 What? Weather-wise. 973 00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:06,234 I know, yeah.. 974 00:49:06,777 --> 00:49:08,779 ...the air, the trees. 975 00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:11,448 Even though Nana's gone there's-there's 976 00:49:11,448 --> 00:49:13,867 something almost uh, I don't know, almost li-- 977 00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:17,788 - Ross! - Oh, Ross, are you okay? 978 00:49:17,829 --> 00:49:20,165 - I'm fine, I'm fine. - Oh. 979 00:49:20,582 --> 00:49:21,750 I'm just-just 980 00:49:22,417 --> 00:49:24,962 having my worst fear realized. 981 00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:28,715 [instrumental music] 982 00:49:31,885 --> 00:49:32,594 Excuse me, sir. 983 00:49:33,011 --> 00:49:34,721 Hi. You come in here all the time. 984 00:49:34,763 --> 00:49:37,057 I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility 985 00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:39,059 that you could give me n advance on my tips? 986 00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:40,560 Huh? No. 987 00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:43,438 Okay, okay. That's fine, fine. 988 00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:46,066 Hey, I'm sorry about that spill...before. 989 00:49:48,068 --> 00:49:49,903 Only $98.50 to go. 990 00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:51,405 - Hey. - Hey. 991 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,907 Ross, did you know that mom and dad 992 00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:55,617 are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving? 993 00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:58,078 What? No, they're not. 994 00:49:58,245 --> 00:49:59,955 Yes, they are. The Blymans invited them. 995 00:50:00,288 --> 00:50:01,581 You're wrong. 996 00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:03,834 I am not wrong. 997 00:50:04,251 --> 00:50:05,585 You're wrong. 998 00:50:06,712 --> 00:50:08,588 No, I just talked to them. 999 00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:11,758 I'm calling mom. 1000 00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:18,432 - Hey, hey. - Hey. 1001 00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:22,602 'And this from the cry-for-help department' 1002 00:50:23,228 --> 00:50:24,771 are you wearing make-up? 1003 00:50:26,606 --> 00:50:27,774 Yes, I am. 1004 00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:30,235 As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani.. 1005 00:50:30,235 --> 00:50:32,279 Actor/model. Thank you. 1006 00:50:32,821 --> 00:50:34,614 That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like 1007 00:50:34,614 --> 00:50:35,782 Joey Tribbiani... 1008 00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:37,659 ...man/woman 1009 00:50:39,786 --> 00:50:41,038 What were you modeling for? 1010 00:50:41,246 --> 00:50:43,582 Oh, you know those posters for the city free clinic? 1011 00:50:43,582 --> 00:50:44,875 Oh, wow, so you're gonna one of those 1012 00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,043 "healthy, healthy, healthy" guys? 1013 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,129 You know, the asthma guy is really cute. 1014 00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,465 Do you know which one you're gonna be? 1015 00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:54,760 No, but I hear Lyme disease is open, so, you know? 1016 00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,263 Good luck, man. I hope you get it. 1017 00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:00,098 Thanks. 1018 00:51:03,101 --> 00:51:04,019 Well, you were right. 1019 00:51:04,269 --> 00:51:05,812 How can they do this to us, huh? 1020 00:51:05,812 --> 00:51:08,482 - It's Thanksgiving. - Oh, okay. I'll tell you what.. 1021 00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:10,067 How about if I cook dinner at my place? 1022 00:51:10,067 --> 00:51:10,942 I'll make it just like mom's. 1023 00:51:11,985 --> 00:51:14,446 Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps? 1024 00:51:15,822 --> 00:51:17,991 You know they're not actually supposed to h-- 1025 00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:19,993 I'll work on the lumps! 1026 00:51:21,244 --> 00:51:22,412 Joey, you're going home, right? 1027 00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:23,163 Yeah. 1028 00:51:23,580 --> 00:51:24,748 And I assume, Chandler, you're still 1029 00:51:24,956 --> 00:51:27,334 boycotting all the pilgrim holidays. 1030 00:51:28,794 --> 00:51:30,462 Yes, every single one of them. 1031 00:51:31,505 --> 00:51:33,298 And Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma? 1032 00:51:33,298 --> 00:51:35,634 Yeah, and-and her boyfriend, but we're celebrating 1033 00:51:35,634 --> 00:51:37,928 Thanksgiving in December 'cause he's lunar. 1034 00:51:42,015 --> 00:51:44,935 S-So you're free Thursday, then? 1035 00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:48,188 - Yeah. Oh, can I come? - Yeah. 1036 00:51:49,606 --> 00:51:50,857 Rach, are you still thinking 1037 00:51:50,857 --> 00:51:51,817 you're gonna make it to Vail? 1038 00:51:52,025 --> 00:51:52,692 Absolutely. 1039 00:51:53,193 --> 00:51:55,028 Shoop, shoop, shoop. 1040 00:51:55,487 --> 00:51:57,030 Only $102 to go. 1041 00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:58,782 I thought it was $98.50. 1042 00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:01,368 Yeah, well, it was, but I-I broke a cup. 1043 00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:05,038 Well, I'm off to Carol's. 1044 00:52:05,872 --> 00:52:08,041 Ooh. Ooh. Why don't we invite her? 1045 00:52:08,875 --> 00:52:10,627 Ooh, Ooh because she's my ex-wife 1046 00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:13,797 and will probably want to bring her ooh, ooh 1047 00:52:14,005 --> 00:52:15,715 lesbian life partner. 1048 00:52:17,759 --> 00:52:21,096 ...first saw the giant dog shadow fall over the park 1049 00:52:21,263 --> 00:52:22,764 Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? 1050 00:52:23,014 --> 00:52:24,558 I mean that was just mean. 1051 00:52:26,059 --> 00:52:27,435 Okay, right about now 1052 00:52:27,561 --> 00:52:29,604 the turkey should be crispy on the outside 1053 00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:31,815 juicy on the inside... 1054 00:52:33,108 --> 00:52:34,067 Why are we standing here? 1055 00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:36,528 We're waiting for you to open the door. 1056 00:52:36,611 --> 00:52:37,946 You've got the keys. 1057 00:52:38,947 --> 00:52:40,198 No, I don't. 1058 00:52:41,741 --> 00:52:42,784 Yes, you do. 1059 00:52:43,076 --> 00:52:45,162 When we left, you said, "got the keys." 1060 00:52:45,912 --> 00:52:49,666 No, I didn't. I asked, "got the keys█ 1061 00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:53,712 No, no, no, you said, "got the keys."█ 1062 00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,132 Either of you have the keys?█ 1063 00:52:58,800 --> 00:52:59,801 The oven is on! 1064 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:01,178 Oh, I've got to get my ticket! 1065 00:53:01,344 --> 00:53:02,971 Oh, wait, wait. We have a copy of your key. 1066 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,389 Well, then get it! Get it! 1067 00:53:04,598 --> 00:53:07,225 Hey, hey, that tone wont make me go any faster. 1068 00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:09,561 - Joey. - That one will. 1069 00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,647 [instrumental music] 1070 00:53:14,816 --> 00:53:15,692 Nope, not that one. 1071 00:53:15,942 --> 00:53:17,319 Can you go any faster with that? 1072 00:53:17,485 --> 00:53:20,071 Hey, I got one key hole and about a zillion keys. 1073 00:53:20,363 --> 00:53:21,156 You do the math. 1074 00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:24,618 Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway? 1075 00:53:25,410 --> 00:53:27,454 For an emergency just like this. 1076 00:53:29,164 --> 00:53:33,001 Alright, listen, smirky, if it wasn't for you 1077 00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:35,128 and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane 1078 00:53:35,128 --> 00:53:37,255 watching a woman do this right now 1079 00:53:37,672 --> 00:53:38,882 but I'm not. 1080 00:53:40,967 --> 00:53:42,594 I swear you said you had the keys! 1081 00:53:42,886 --> 00:53:43,511 No, I didn't! 1082 00:53:44,012 --> 00:53:45,388 I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys... 1083 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:47,182 And I obviously did not have the keys! 1084 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:49,100 Oh, okay, alright. That's it. Enough with the keys. 1085 00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:55,607 - Why would I have the keys? - Oh. 1086 00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:58,777 Aside from the fact that you said you had them? 1087 00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:00,445 - But I didn't. - Well, you should have. 1088 00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:01,696 - 'Why?' - 'Because.' 1089 00:54:01,696 --> 00:54:03,156 - 'Why?' - 'Because.' 1090 00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:04,699 Why? Because everything is my responsibility? 1091 00:54:04,783 --> 00:54:06,243 Is that-isn't it enough that I'm making 1092 00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:07,702 Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? 1093 00:54:07,869 --> 00:54:09,871 You know, everyone wants a different kind of potato. 1094 00:54:09,955 --> 00:54:11,915 So I'm making different kinds of potatoes! 1095 00:54:12,540 --> 00:54:13,708 I mean, does anybody care 1096 00:54:13,833 --> 00:54:15,085 what kind of potatoes I want? 1097 00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:19,047 No! No! No! 1098 00:54:19,339 --> 00:54:22,217 You know, just as long Phoebe gets her peas and onions 1099 00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:24,636 and Mario gets his tots and... 1100 00:54:24,886 --> 00:54:28,223 It's my first Thanksgiving! and I.. 1101 00:54:28,765 --> 00:54:30,225 It's all burned! and.. 1102 00:54:30,558 --> 00:54:33,728 [sobbing] 1103 00:54:33,812 --> 00:54:36,231 Okay, Monica, only dogs can hear you now. 1104 00:54:36,314 --> 00:54:38,066 Look, the door's open. Here we go. 1105 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,068 Oh, God. 1106 00:54:41,069 --> 00:54:43,822 - Oh. - Oh. 1107 00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:46,616 Well... turkey's burnt! 1108 00:54:47,575 --> 00:54:49,119 Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined. 1109 00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:50,745 Potatoes are ruined. 1110 00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:53,540 ♪ Here we come 1111 00:54:54,165 --> 00:54:56,418 ♪ Walkin' down the.. 1112 00:54:58,461 --> 00:55:00,547 This doesn't smell like mom's. 1113 00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:04,092 No, it doesn't, does it? 1114 00:55:04,175 --> 00:55:05,260 But you wanted lumps, Ross? 1115 00:55:05,427 --> 00:55:07,554 Well, here you go, buddy. You got one! 1116 00:55:09,931 --> 00:55:11,016 Oh, God, this is great! 1117 00:55:11,599 --> 00:55:14,519 The plane is gone, so I guess I'm stuck here with you guys! 1118 00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:17,272 Hey, we all had better plans, okay? 1119 00:55:17,355 --> 00:55:18,982 This was nobody's first choice. 1120 00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:19,983 Oh, really? 1121 00:55:20,817 --> 00:55:22,736 So why was I busting my ass to make 1122 00:55:22,736 --> 00:55:24,654 this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?! 1123 00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:26,156 You call that delicious? 1124 00:55:26,698 --> 00:55:28,450 [indistinct chatter] 1125 00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:31,536 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 1126 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,789 Now, this feels like Thanksgiving. 1127 00:55:36,666 --> 00:55:38,335 [instrumental music] 1128 00:55:41,463 --> 00:55:44,716 Guys, there's, uh, somebody I'd like you to meet. 1129 00:55:45,508 --> 00:55:47,052 [gasping] 1130 00:55:47,677 --> 00:55:49,054 Wait, wait. What is that? 1131 00:55:49,220 --> 00:55:50,513 "That" would be Marcel. 1132 00:55:50,555 --> 00:55:52,515 - You wanna say hi? - No! No, I don't. 1133 00:55:52,849 --> 00:55:55,060 Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him? 1134 00:55:55,143 --> 00:55:57,145 My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. 1135 00:55:57,354 --> 00:55:59,564 That is so cruel. Why? 1136 00:55:59,564 --> 00:56:02,359 Why would a parent name their child Bethel? 1137 00:56:05,528 --> 00:56:08,323 Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass. 1138 00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:15,747 Ross, is-is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? 1139 00:56:15,872 --> 00:56:19,084 Yeah, I mean, it's been kind of quiet since Carol left, so.. 1140 00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:20,919 And why don't you just get a roommate? 1141 00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:22,170 Nah. I don't know. 1142 00:56:22,170 --> 00:56:23,088 I think you reach a certain age 1143 00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:25,423 having a roommate is just kind of pathe— 1144 00:56:28,093 --> 00:56:30,220 Uh, sorry, that's-that's, pathet 1145 00:56:30,428 --> 00:56:33,098 which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live". 1146 00:56:33,681 --> 00:56:36,351 [instrumental music] 1147 00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:39,354 (Ross) Come here, Marcel. Sit here. 1148 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:46,152 Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. 1149 00:56:46,152 --> 00:56:48,113 I mean, God, by my sixth date with Paolo 1150 00:56:48,113 --> 00:56:50,365 I mean he'd already named both my breasts. 1151 00:56:54,702 --> 00:56:56,621 Oh, did-did I just share too much? 1152 00:56:58,289 --> 00:56:59,582 Just a smidge. 1153 00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:02,627 David's, like, you know, a scientist guy. 1154 00:57:02,919 --> 00:57:03,962 He's very methodical. 1155 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:06,423 - I think it's romantic. - Me too! 1156 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:09,426 Oh. Did you ever see "An Officer and a Gentleman"? 1157 00:57:09,551 --> 00:57:10,135 (together) Yeah. 1158 00:57:10,802 --> 00:57:12,220 Well, he's kind of like the guy 1159 00:57:12,220 --> 00:57:14,222 I went to see that with. 1160 00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:17,892 Except.. 1161 00:57:19,269 --> 00:57:22,730 Except he-he's smarter and gentler and sweeter. 1162 00:57:23,773 --> 00:57:26,151 I just, I just wanna be with him all the time. 1163 00:57:26,734 --> 00:57:28,319 You know, day and night. 1164 00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:29,988 And night and day. 1165 00:57:30,613 --> 00:57:32,657 And special occasions. 1166 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,370 Wait a minute. Wait. I see where this is going. 1167 00:57:37,370 --> 00:57:38,872 You're gonna ask him to New Year's, arent you? 1168 00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:40,373 You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact. 1169 00:57:40,498 --> 00:57:42,333 No, no, no. 1170 00:57:42,834 --> 00:57:43,460 No.. 1171 00:57:44,085 --> 00:57:45,170 Yeah, could I just... 1172 00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:46,337 [gasping] 1173 00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:49,424 Yeah, 'cause I already asked Janice. 1174 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,842 - 'Oh!' - Chandler! - What? 1175 00:57:51,009 --> 00:57:53,761 Come on, this was a pact! This was your pact! 1176 00:57:53,761 --> 00:57:54,888 I snapped, okay? 1177 00:57:54,888 --> 00:57:56,514 I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped! 1178 00:57:56,514 --> 00:57:58,016 Yeah, but Janice? 1179 00:57:58,016 --> 00:57:59,851 That-that was like the worst breakup in history. 1180 00:57:59,851 --> 00:58:01,019 I'm not saying it was a good idea. 1181 00:58:01,019 --> 00:58:02,854 I'm saying I snapped. 1182 00:58:04,522 --> 00:58:06,941 Hi, hey, hi, sorry I'm late. 1183 00:58:13,156 --> 00:58:15,200 [chuckles] 1184 00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:17,785 Too many jokes. 1185 00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:21,164 Must mock Joey. 1186 00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:24,042 Nice shoes, huh? 1187 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,543 [bells jingling] 1188 00:58:26,169 --> 00:58:27,504 God, you're killing me. 1189 00:58:29,547 --> 00:58:32,467 Oh, Ross! He's playing with my spatulas again! 1190 00:58:33,384 --> 00:58:35,470 Look, he's not gonna hurt them, right? 1191 00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:37,722 Do you always have to bring him here? 1192 00:58:37,805 --> 00:58:38,515 But.. 1193 00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:41,309 Look, I didn't wanna leave him alone. 1194 00:58:41,351 --> 00:58:44,479 Alright? We-we had our first fight this morning. 1195 00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:48,233 I think it has to do with my working late. 1196 00:58:48,233 --> 00:58:50,985 I said some things that I didn't mean and.. 1197 00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:55,156 ...he threw some feces. 1198 00:58:58,576 --> 00:58:59,661 You know, if you're gonna work late 1199 00:58:59,702 --> 00:59:00,870 I can look in on him for you. 1200 00:59:01,579 --> 00:59:02,830 Oh, that would be great! 1201 00:59:03,748 --> 00:59:05,583 But if you do make sure it seems like 1202 00:59:05,583 --> 00:59:07,669 you're there to see him. Okay? 1203 00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:09,754 And you're not, like, doing it as a favor to me. 1204 00:59:09,754 --> 00:59:13,091 Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie. 1205 00:59:14,842 --> 00:59:17,011 [instrumental music] 1206 00:59:18,721 --> 00:59:20,682 Hey, guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. 1207 00:59:21,015 --> 00:59:23,017 I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide. 1208 00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:24,561 and one about a snowman. 1209 00:59:27,689 --> 00:59:29,732 Might wanna open with the snowman. 1210 00:59:31,609 --> 00:59:32,277 - Hey, Joey. - Hey, Joey. 1211 00:59:32,944 --> 00:59:33,736 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, Jo. 1212 00:59:33,903 --> 00:59:34,862 So how'd it go? 1213 00:59:35,446 --> 00:59:37,282 Uh, I didn't get the job. 1214 00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:38,575 (together) Oh. 1215 00:59:39,075 --> 00:59:40,118 How could you not get it? 1216 00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:42,620 You were Santa last year. 1217 00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:45,081 I don't know, some fat guy's 1218 00:59:45,123 --> 00:59:46,708 sleeping with the store manager. 1219 00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:50,920 He's not even jolly. It's all political. 1220 00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:52,880 So what are you gonna be? 1221 00:59:53,214 --> 00:59:54,132 Uh, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. 1222 00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:57,260 It's just such a slap in the face, you know? 1223 00:59:58,428 --> 01:00:00,138 Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Years? 1224 01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:01,931 [indistinct chatter] 1225 01:00:02,890 --> 01:00:04,892 Gee! what? What is wrong with New Years? 1226 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:07,270 Well, nothing for you. You have Paolo. 1227 01:00:07,395 --> 01:00:09,105 You don't have to face the horrible pressures 1228 01:00:09,105 --> 01:00:09,772 of this holiday. 1229 01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,066 Desperate scramble to find anything with lips 1230 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,360 just so you can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops - 1231 01:00:14,777 --> 01:00:16,237 Man, I'm talking loud! 1232 01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:18,781 Well, for your information 1233 01:00:19,616 --> 01:00:21,534 Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's. 1234 01:00:21,659 --> 01:00:23,620 So I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. 1235 01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:25,538 Yeah, you wish. 1236 01:00:27,957 --> 01:00:30,752 Just that I'm sick of ba victim this Dick Clark Holiday. 1237 01:00:31,002 --> 01:00:33,755 I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. 1238 01:00:33,921 --> 01:00:35,590 Just the six of us. Dinner. 1239 01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:36,966 - Sure. - Okay. We'll do that. 1240 01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:39,636 You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. 1241 01:00:40,136 --> 01:00:41,596 [cheering] 1242 01:00:42,805 --> 01:00:43,640 Okay, Phoebe, you're on. 1243 01:00:43,973 --> 01:00:44,641 Oh, oh, good. 1244 01:00:45,808 --> 01:00:49,312 Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen back by popular demand. 1245 01:00:49,687 --> 01:00:52,190 Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooo! 1246 01:00:52,815 --> 01:00:55,151 [applauding] 1247 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:57,320 Hi. Thanks. Hi. 1248 01:00:57,654 --> 01:00:59,864 Uh, ahem, I wanna start with a song 1249 01:00:59,864 --> 01:01:03,159 that means a lot to me this time of year. 1250 01:01:07,705 --> 01:01:10,500 ♪ I made a man with eyes of coal ♪ 1251 01:01:11,209 --> 01:01:14,295 ♪ And a smile so bewitchin' 1252 01:01:15,004 --> 01:01:17,507 ♪ How was I supposed to 1253 01:01:17,799 --> 01:01:21,511 ♪ That my mom was dead in the kitchen ♪ 1254 01:01:25,181 --> 01:01:27,308 ♪ La la la la la.. 1255 01:01:27,850 --> 01:01:30,186 ♪ My mother's ashes 1256 01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:32,980 ♪ Even her eyelashes 1257 01:01:33,898 --> 01:01:40,530 ♪ Are resting in a little yellow jar ♪ 1258 01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:45,076 ♪ And sometimes when it's freezing ♪ [indistinct chatter] 1259 01:01:46,035 --> 01:01:49,664 ♪ I feel a little sneezy and now I.. ♪ [indistinct chatter] 1260 01:01:49,997 --> 01:01:51,165 Excuse me? Excuse me? 1261 01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:53,376 Yeah, noisy boys. 1262 01:01:55,253 --> 01:01:58,381 Is it something that you would to share with the entire group? 1263 01:02:00,091 --> 01:02:01,884 No, no, that's-that's o. 1264 01:02:02,927 --> 01:02:04,178 Well, come on, if it's important enough 1265 01:02:04,178 --> 01:02:05,096 to discuss while I'm playing. 1266 01:02:06,097 --> 01:02:06,973 Then, I assume it's important enough 1267 01:02:07,682 --> 01:02:08,558 for everyone else to he. 1268 01:02:09,392 --> 01:02:11,894 That guy's going home with a note. 1269 01:02:15,690 --> 01:02:18,735 [clears throat] Nothin', I was, I was just saying-- 1270 01:02:18,818 --> 01:02:20,278 - Could you speak up, p? - Sorry. 1271 01:02:20,278 --> 01:02:20,903 I was.. 1272 01:02:22,196 --> 01:02:23,364 I was just saying friend that I thought 1273 01:02:23,364 --> 01:02:24,365 you were the most beautiful woman 1274 01:02:24,365 --> 01:02:25,908 that I'd ever seen in-in my life. 1275 01:02:27,034 --> 01:02:28,244 And then, he said that, you-you said you thought 1276 01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:30,413 - Daryl Hannah - Daryl Hannah was the most, uh, beautiful woman 1277 01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:32,415 that he'd ever seen in his life. 1278 01:02:32,457 --> 01:02:34,083 And I said, "Yeah, I lir in Splash a lot 1279 01:02:34,542 --> 01:02:35,710 "but not so much in-in Wall Street. 1280 01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:36,753 I thought she had a.. 1281 01:02:37,044 --> 01:02:38,588 (together) ...hard quality. 1282 01:02:39,464 --> 01:02:41,591 'And, uh, and, uh, well, Daryl Hannah' 1283 01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:43,593 is beautiful in a conventional way 1284 01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:47,722 you are, uh, luminous with a kind of delicate grace. 1285 01:02:49,891 --> 01:02:53,060 Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. 1286 01:03:00,777 --> 01:03:02,904 Okay, we're gonna take a short break. 1287 01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,119 I think that guy's going home with more than a note. 1288 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,789 Do you think they have yesterday's"Daily News?" 1289 01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:13,706 Why? 1290 01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:15,208 I just want to check my horoscope 1291 01:03:15,208 --> 01:03:16,918 to see if it was right. 1292 01:03:18,377 --> 01:03:19,545 Oh, my God, Phoebe. 1293 01:03:20,546 --> 01:03:22,048 Don't look now but behind you, there is a guy 1294 01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:23,466 who has the potential to break our hearts 1295 01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:25,218 and plunge us into a pit of depression. 1296 01:03:25,551 --> 01:03:26,719 Where? 1297 01:03:27,136 --> 01:03:28,971 Oh, come to mama. 1298 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,808 He's coming. Be cool. Be cool, be cool. 1299 01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:34,560 - Nice hat. - (Both) Thanks. 1300 01:03:35,561 --> 01:03:36,979 - We should do something.. - Whistle. 1301 01:03:37,146 --> 01:03:38,815 - We are not going to w. - Yeah, come on. Do it. 1302 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:40,608 - No! No! - Do it! Do it! Do it! ! 1303 01:03:40,983 --> 01:03:42,235 Whoa-whoa! 1304 01:03:43,069 --> 01:03:43,778 [siren blaring] 1305 01:03:44,237 --> 01:03:45,404 [tires screech] 1306 01:03:45,738 --> 01:03:46,280 [thud] 1307 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:49,992 Oh! I can't believe you did that! 1308 01:03:50,952 --> 01:03:51,786 [instrumental music] 1309 01:03:52,578 --> 01:03:54,080 (Monica) 'Why did I whoo-hoo?' 1310 01:03:54,330 --> 01:03:55,289 I mean, what was I hoping would happen? 1311 01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:56,791 That-that he'd turn around and say 1312 01:03:57,124 --> 01:03:59,502 "Ooh. I love that sound, I must have you now?" 1313 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,089 I just wish there was something we could do. 1314 01:04:04,590 --> 01:04:05,591 Hello. 1315 01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,593 Hello, coma guy. 1316 01:04:09,178 --> 01:04:11,097 Get up, you Girl Scout! Up! Up! Up! 1317 01:04:11,514 --> 01:04:12,431 Phoebe, what are you doing? 1318 01:04:12,807 --> 01:04:14,725 Maybe nobody's tried this. 1319 01:04:17,603 --> 01:04:19,522 I wish we at least knew his nam. 1320 01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:21,440 'Would you look at that' 1321 01:04:22,149 --> 01:04:24,694 I mean, even sleeping, he-he looks smart. 1322 01:04:25,194 --> 01:04:26,237 I bet he's a lawyer. 1323 01:04:26,487 --> 01:04:27,446 Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckl? 1324 01:04:28,364 --> 01:04:30,283 - That means he's artistic. - Okay. 1325 01:04:31,325 --> 01:04:33,953 He's a lawyer who teaches sculpting on the side. 1326 01:04:34,662 --> 01:04:36,414 - And he can dance. - Oh! 1327 01:04:37,039 --> 01:04:39,041 Yeah, he's the kind of of guy 1328 01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:40,960 when you're talking, he's listening 1329 01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:43,129 you know, and not saying "Yeah, I understand" 1330 01:04:43,462 --> 01:04:44,839 but really wondering what you look like naked. 1331 01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,133 Oh, definitely! 1332 01:04:49,093 --> 01:04:51,262 I wish all guys could be like him. 1333 01:04:53,389 --> 01:04:54,515 I know. 1334 01:04:57,935 --> 01:04:58,811 Hey, Rach. 1335 01:04:59,312 --> 01:05:00,313 - Hey. - Hello. 1336 01:05:00,479 --> 01:05:01,188 Hello. 1337 01:05:02,106 --> 01:05:03,482 Going to the hospital tonight? 1338 01:05:03,649 --> 01:05:04,609 No. You? 1339 01:05:04,984 --> 01:05:06,485 No. You? 1340 01:05:09,071 --> 01:05:10,323 You just asked me. 1341 01:05:11,157 --> 01:05:13,326 Okay, maybe it was a trick question. 1342 01:05:14,535 --> 01:05:16,495 Um, Rachel, can we do this now? 1343 01:05:16,579 --> 01:05:17,580 Okay. 1344 01:05:19,248 --> 01:05:21,334 [chuckling] I am so hot! 1345 01:05:22,835 --> 01:05:24,503 And, uh, here's a pictue of my mother and father 1346 01:05:24,503 --> 01:05:25,338 on their wedding day. 1347 01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:28,341 Now, you tell me she's not a knockout. 1348 01:05:30,217 --> 01:05:32,345 I cannot believe we're having this conversation. 1349 01:05:32,511 --> 01:05:35,389 Come on! Just try to picture not pregnant. That's all. 1350 01:05:37,016 --> 01:05:40,770 Central Perk is proud to present Ms. Phoebe Buffay! 1351 01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:42,396 [cheering] 1352 01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,190 (Phoebe) 'Thanks.' 1353 01:05:44,690 --> 01:05:45,858 Hi. Um, ahem, okay. 1354 01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:47,735 I'd like to start with a song 1355 01:05:47,735 --> 01:05:49,612 that's about a man that I recently met 1356 01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:52,573 who's, um, come to be very important to me. 1357 01:05:55,326 --> 01:05:56,577 Okay. 1358 01:05:59,163 --> 01:06:03,376 ♪ You don't have to be awake to be my man ♪ 1359 01:06:05,169 --> 01:06:07,004 ♪ Long as you have brainwaves 1360 01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:10,216 ♪ I'll be there to hold your hand ♪ 1361 01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:14,387 ♪ Though we just met the day there's something ♪ 1362 01:06:15,054 --> 01:06:17,390 ♪ I have got to say 1363 01:06:18,599 --> 01:06:21,894 Okay. Thank you very muh I'm going to take a short break. 1364 01:06:23,562 --> 01:06:26,440 No, really. Come on. You're smart. You're sexy 1365 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:29,026 - Oh, right. - Listen to me, kiddo. 1366 01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:31,362 You're going to be fine. Believe me. 1367 01:06:36,617 --> 01:06:37,910 Uh-oh. 1368 01:06:50,339 --> 01:06:51,173 Uh.. 1369 01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:53,175 I'll just pee in the street. 1370 01:07:01,809 --> 01:07:03,644 [knock on door] 1371 01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:05,771 - Hey, is Chandler here? - Yeah. 1372 01:07:06,063 --> 01:07:07,481 Okay, come here. 1373 01:07:08,816 --> 01:07:10,484 Okay, uh, about last night. 1374 01:07:11,318 --> 01:07:13,612 You know. Chandler. You didn't tell.. 1375 01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:16,157 Okay, 'cause I'm thinking we don't need to tell Chandler 1376 01:07:16,323 --> 01:07:17,324 I mean, it was just a kiss right? 1377 01:07:17,450 --> 01:07:18,242 One kiss, no big deal. Right? 1378 01:07:19,201 --> 01:07:20,953 - Right, no big deal. - Okay. 1379 01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:22,830 In bizarro world! 1380 01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:28,502 - You broke the code. - What code? 1381 01:07:28,919 --> 01:07:30,796 You don't kiss your friend's mom. 1382 01:07:31,005 --> 01:07:31,839 Sisters are okay.. 1383 01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:35,468 ...maybe a hot-lookin' aunt, but not a mom. 1384 01:07:35,676 --> 01:07:36,510 Never a mom! 1385 01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:38,387 [screams] 1386 01:07:40,014 --> 01:07:40,806 What are you guys doing out here? 1387 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:43,517 Uh, well, Joey and I had discussed 1388 01:07:43,809 --> 01:07:46,645 getting in an early-morning racquetball game. 1389 01:07:47,313 --> 01:07:50,357 But, um, apparently, somebody overslept. 1390 01:07:52,234 --> 01:07:53,986 Yeah, well, you don't have your racquet. 1391 01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:56,530 No, no, I don't because it's being restrung. 1392 01:07:57,364 --> 01:07:59,408 Somebody was supposed to bring me one. 1393 01:07:59,950 --> 01:08:03,370 Yeah. Well, you didn't call and leave your grip size. 1394 01:08:06,123 --> 01:08:08,292 You guys spend a way too much time together. 1395 01:08:11,879 --> 01:08:13,380 Okay, I'm scum. I'm scum! 1396 01:08:13,631 --> 01:08:14,882 Ross, how could you let this happen? 1397 01:08:15,049 --> 01:08:15,716 I don't know. God, I.. 1398 01:08:16,383 --> 01:08:18,385 Well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? 1399 01:08:18,469 --> 01:08:20,304 She's-she's sexy. She's... 1400 01:08:20,429 --> 01:08:22,098 You don't think my mom's sexy? 1401 01:08:23,974 --> 01:08:26,519 - Well, not in the same way. - Hey! 1402 01:08:26,727 --> 01:08:28,395 I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani 1403 01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:30,898 was a handsome woman in her day, alright? 1404 01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:35,194 You think it's easy giving birth to seven children? 1405 01:08:35,569 --> 01:08:35,820 Huh? 1406 01:08:37,404 --> 01:08:40,366 Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here. 1407 01:08:42,076 --> 01:08:42,660 - Hey. - Hey. 1408 01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:43,911 What are you guys doing out here? 1409 01:08:44,495 --> 01:08:47,456 Well, n-not playing racquetball! 1410 01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:50,918 He forgot to leave his grip size. 1411 01:08:51,836 --> 01:08:54,547 - He didn't get the goggles. - Oh. 1412 01:08:55,005 --> 01:08:57,967 Well...sounds like you two have issues. 1413 01:09:01,595 --> 01:09:03,389 - Bye, baby. - Ciao, bella. 1414 01:09:05,140 --> 01:09:07,267 Do they wait for me to do this? 1415 01:09:13,482 --> 01:09:15,442 - So are you gonna tell? - No, I'm not going to tell him. 1416 01:09:15,776 --> 01:09:16,861 Why would I tell him? 1417 01:09:16,861 --> 01:09:18,779 How about 'cause if you, his mother might. 1418 01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:21,824 - Oh. - What are you guys doing here? 1419 01:09:22,741 --> 01:09:25,244 Uh...he's not even wearing a jock strap. 1420 01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,460 What did I ask? 1421 01:09:35,212 --> 01:09:36,881 - Oh, my God. - You're my friend. 1422 01:09:37,131 --> 01:09:38,966 I, I had to tell you. 1423 01:09:39,466 --> 01:09:41,468 I can't believe it. 1424 01:09:42,136 --> 01:09:43,637 Paolo kissed my mom? 1425 01:09:44,805 --> 01:09:46,056 Yeah, I mean, uh, I-I dont know 1426 01:09:46,140 --> 01:09:47,641 if you noticed but he had a lot to drink. 1427 01:09:47,765 --> 01:09:50,727 You know, I mean, you kknow how he gets when he's druu-- 1428 01:09:52,645 --> 01:09:54,647 I can't do this. I did it. 1429 01:09:54,732 --> 01:09:56,233 It was me. I'm sorry. 1430 01:09:56,317 --> 01:09:57,943 - I kissed your mom. - What? 1431 01:09:58,152 --> 01:10:00,988 I...I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo 1432 01:10:00,988 --> 01:10:03,574 and I think I had too much tequila and Nora, um.. 1433 01:10:04,241 --> 01:10:06,327 Mrs. Mom, your Bing, was uh... 1434 01:10:07,953 --> 01:10:09,663 She was just being nice, you know, and-and.. 1435 01:10:09,830 --> 01:10:11,916 But nothing happened. Nothing. Ask Joey. 1436 01:10:12,124 --> 01:10:13,918 - Joey, uh, he came in.. - You knew about this? 1437 01:10:14,251 --> 01:10:17,796 Uh, you know, knowledge is a tricky thing, uhh.. 1438 01:10:18,839 --> 01:10:20,925 I spent the entire day with you. Why didn't you tell me? 1439 01:10:20,966 --> 01:10:22,593 Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them 1440 01:10:22,635 --> 01:10:24,929 when I did, or else who knows what would have happened? 1441 01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:26,639 Thanks, man. Big help. 1442 01:10:27,806 --> 01:10:29,934 I can't believe this. What the hell were you thinking? 1443 01:10:30,017 --> 01:10:31,101 I wasn't. I-I don't know. 1444 01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:33,938 You know, of all my friends, no one knows the crap 1445 01:10:33,979 --> 01:10:35,606 I go through with my mom more than you. 1446 01:10:35,689 --> 01:10:37,650 - I know. I-- - I can't believe you did this! 1447 01:10:37,691 --> 01:10:38,859 - Chandler.. - Me neither, you know-- 1448 01:10:38,984 --> 01:10:40,486 I'm still mad at you for not telling me. 1449 01:10:40,527 --> 01:10:41,695 - Chandler.. - Why you mad at me? 1450 01:10:41,695 --> 01:10:43,280 Let me slam the door! 1451 01:10:44,448 --> 01:10:46,659 Chandler, well, I didn't kiss her. He did! 1452 01:10:46,700 --> 01:10:47,952 See what happens when you break the code? 1453 01:10:48,535 --> 01:10:51,163 - Joey. - Ah. Uh. 1454 01:10:55,125 --> 01:10:56,627 Aunt Syl, stop yelling. 1455 01:10:57,503 --> 01:10:59,213 All I'm saying is, if you had told me 1456 01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:01,048 vegetarian lasagna I would have made 1457 01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:02,591 vegetarian lasagna. 1458 01:11:04,426 --> 01:11:06,553 Well, the-the meat's only every third layer. 1459 01:11:06,553 --> 01:11:08,013 May-maybe you could scrape. 1460 01:11:09,348 --> 01:11:10,474 Ross, did you really read 1461 01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:11,433 all these baby books? 1462 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,435 Yep, you could plunk men 1463 01:11:13,477 --> 01:11:15,104 in the middle of any woman's uterus 1464 01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:16,272 no compass.. 1465 01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:19,566 ...and I could find my way out of there like [snaps] that. 1466 01:11:20,859 --> 01:11:21,902 Ooh, this is cool. 1467 01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:23,946 It says, "In some parts of the world 1468 01:11:24,071 --> 01:11:25,990 "people actually eat the placenta." 1469 01:11:28,492 --> 01:11:30,077 And we're done with the yogurt. 1470 01:11:32,746 --> 01:11:33,122 Sorry. 1471 01:11:33,914 --> 01:11:35,332 Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor. 1472 01:11:35,791 --> 01:11:37,126 I am not a caterer. 1473 01:11:37,501 --> 01:11:40,170 What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? 1474 01:11:41,839 --> 01:11:43,299 Nice talk, Aunt Syl. 1475 01:11:44,383 --> 01:11:46,635 You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth? 1476 01:11:48,262 --> 01:11:49,138 Hey, Ross. Listen. 1477 01:11:49,847 --> 01:11:50,931 Do you know that right now 1478 01:11:50,931 --> 01:11:52,850 your baby is only this big? 1479 01:11:53,350 --> 01:11:54,643 This is your baby. 1480 01:11:55,019 --> 01:11:55,853 Hi, daddy. 1481 01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:56,979 Hello. 1482 01:11:57,813 --> 01:11:59,481 How come you don't live with mommy? 1483 01:12:01,817 --> 01:12:04,069 How come mommy lives with that other lady? 1484 01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:11,535 What's a lesbian? 1485 01:12:15,622 --> 01:12:16,790 [speaking in Italian] 1486 01:12:16,790 --> 01:12:18,292 Honey, you can say it. You can.. 1487 01:12:18,292 --> 01:12:19,626 Poconos. Poconos. 1488 01:12:20,210 --> 01:12:23,630 It's like poke-a-nose. 1489 01:12:24,131 --> 01:12:28,135 Ah, poke-a-nose. 1490 01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:29,219 Hmm. 1491 01:12:29,970 --> 01:12:32,806 (together) Blah, blah, blah. 1492 01:12:37,061 --> 01:12:38,812 So did I hear Poconos? 1493 01:12:38,812 --> 01:12:42,066 Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend. 1494 01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:44,818 Whoo-hoo. First weekend away together 1495 01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:46,904 - Yeah, that's a big step. - 'I know.' 1496 01:12:48,655 --> 01:12:49,823 Oh, it's just a weekend. Big deal. 1497 01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:52,659 Wasn't this just supposed to be a fling, huh? 1498 01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:54,453 Shouldn't it be.. 1499 01:12:55,329 --> 01:12:56,663 ...flung by now? 1500 01:12:57,790 --> 01:12:59,375 I mean, we are way past the fling thing. 1501 01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,001 I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about 1502 01:13:01,835 --> 01:13:02,920 in Danielle Steel books, you know? 1503 01:13:03,837 --> 01:13:06,298 I mean, when I'm with h, I'm just totally, total. 1504 01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:09,468 Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous. 1505 01:13:10,719 --> 01:13:13,305 What am I supposed to d? Call immigration? 1506 01:13:15,349 --> 01:13:17,226 I could call immigratio. 1507 01:13:20,729 --> 01:13:22,773 I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen. 1508 01:13:23,565 --> 01:13:25,234 - I know. - So how does this work? 1509 01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:27,444 You're gonna balance the plates on these little guys' heads? 1510 01:13:28,112 --> 01:13:30,406 Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on.. 1511 01:13:32,825 --> 01:13:34,076 Heads up, Ross. 1512 01:13:34,576 --> 01:13:36,912 Score! You suck. 1513 01:13:39,998 --> 01:13:41,417 Are you okay? 1514 01:13:44,586 --> 01:13:46,088 I need some milk. 1515 01:13:47,631 --> 01:13:49,425 Okay. I've got milk. 1516 01:13:54,930 --> 01:13:56,598 Here you go. Oh. 1517 01:14:04,815 --> 01:14:05,858 Better? 1518 01:14:07,776 --> 01:14:08,861 No. 1519 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,198 Oh, I feel so stupid!█ 1520 01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:16,326 Oh, I think about the other day with you guys 1521 01:14:16,326 --> 01:14:19,955 you know and I was all, "Oh, Paolo, he's so great!" 1522 01:14:20,497 --> 01:14:21,665 "He makes me feel so..." 1523 01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:24,168 Oh! God. 1524 01:14:25,127 --> 01:14:26,336 I'm so embarrassed. 1525 01:14:26,879 --> 01:14:28,130 I'm so embarrassed. 1526 01:14:28,672 --> 01:14:29,965 I'm the one he hit on. 1527 01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,134 Phoebe, I unleashed him, if I had never met him 1528 01:14:32,718 --> 01:14:33,302 this would have never happened to you. 1529 01:14:33,969 --> 01:14:34,553 (together) I'm so sorry. 1530 01:14:35,512 --> 01:14:35,971 - No Phoebe, I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry. 1531 01:14:36,805 --> 01:14:37,639 - No, I'm sorry! - No, I'm sorry! 1532 01:14:38,015 --> 01:14:38,640 Oh, wait. Oh.. 1533 01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:40,476 ...what are we sorry ab? 1534 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:42,144 I don't know. Right. 1535 01:14:42,895 --> 01:14:45,022 - He's the pig. - Such a pig. 1536 01:14:45,022 --> 01:14:46,648 - Oh, God, he's such a pig! - Oh, he's like a-- 1537 01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:49,193 He's like a big, disgusting pig. 1538 01:14:49,193 --> 01:14:50,903 - Yeah, like a.. - Pig...pig man. 1539 01:14:51,361 --> 01:14:53,071 Yes, good. Okay. 1540 01:14:57,326 --> 01:14:59,661 Oh, but he was my pig man. 1541 01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:03,999 How did I not see this? 1542 01:15:05,209 --> 01:15:07,211 Oh, I know! 1543 01:15:09,588 --> 01:15:11,089 Because 1544 01:15:11,548 --> 01:15:12,883 he's gorgeous 1545 01:15:13,383 --> 01:15:14,510 and he's charming.. 1546 01:15:15,177 --> 01:15:16,512 And when he looks at you-- 1547 01:15:16,553 --> 01:15:18,680 - Okay, okay, Pheebs. - Oh, the end. 1548 01:15:21,141 --> 01:15:22,559 Oh, God. 1549 01:15:25,020 --> 01:15:26,522 Should I not have told you? 1550 01:15:27,022 --> 01:15:28,482 No. No, trust me. 1551 01:15:28,565 --> 01:15:31,026 It's-it's-it's much better that I know. 1552 01:15:34,363 --> 01:15:38,075 Uh, I just liked it better before it was better. 1553 01:15:40,077 --> 01:15:42,704 [instrumental music] 1554 01:15:55,092 --> 01:15:57,094 I think she took it pretty well. 1555 01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:58,720 You know, Paolo's over there right now, so.. 1556 01:15:59,763 --> 01:16:00,931 We should get over there and see if she's okay. 1557 01:16:00,931 --> 01:16:03,559 - What? Oh. - Just one...second. 1558 01:16:03,934 --> 01:16:04,393 [cheering] 1559 01:16:04,935 --> 01:16:05,394 (together) Score. 1560 01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:07,896 - Game. Nice. - Yes. 1561 01:16:09,481 --> 01:16:11,483 - Come on, Pheebs. - Ah, ooh! 1562 01:16:12,484 --> 01:16:14,945 Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts. 1563 01:16:15,654 --> 01:16:17,114 No, no, she kicked our butts. 1564 01:16:17,114 --> 01:16:19,157 You could be on the Olympic standing-there team. 1565 01:16:20,242 --> 01:16:21,243 Come on, two on one. 1566 01:16:21,410 --> 01:16:22,411 What are you still doing here? 1567 01:16:22,744 --> 01:16:23,954 She just broke up with the guy. 1568 01:16:24,329 --> 01:16:26,081 It's time for you to swoop in. 1569 01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:30,252 - What? Now? - Yes, now is when you swoop! 1570 01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:32,421 You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there 1571 01:16:32,504 --> 01:16:34,089 the first guy Rachel sees is you. 1572 01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:36,925 She's got to know that you're everything he's not! 1573 01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:39,428 You're like-like the Anti-Paolo. 1574 01:16:41,179 --> 01:16:42,347 My Catholic friend is right. 1575 01:16:43,307 --> 01:16:45,475 She's distraught. You're there for her. 1576 01:16:45,684 --> 01:16:48,687 You pick up the pieces, and then, you usher in.. 1577 01:16:49,271 --> 01:16:51,607 ...the age of Ross. 1578 01:17:08,790 --> 01:17:10,083 [screaming] 1579 01:17:10,917 --> 01:17:12,252 (Chandler) 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' 1580 01:17:12,377 --> 01:17:14,463 That is it! You just barge in here! 1581 01:17:14,504 --> 01:17:15,839 - You don't knock! - I'm sorry! 1582 01:17:15,922 --> 01:17:17,132 You have no respect for anybody's privacy. 1583 01:17:17,257 --> 01:17:18,675 - Rachel, wait, wait. - No, you wait. 1584 01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,969 - This is ridiculous-- - Can I just say one thing? 1585 01:17:21,053 --> 01:17:21,970 What?! What?! 1586 01:17:22,429 --> 01:17:23,764 That's a relatively open weave 1587 01:17:23,764 --> 01:17:24,598 and I can still see your... 1588 01:17:26,808 --> 01:17:27,809 "nippular" area. 1589 01:17:27,893 --> 01:17:29,561 [gasps] 1590 01:17:29,936 --> 01:17:31,104 [indistinct] 1591 01:17:34,107 --> 01:17:35,442 Okay. You guys want anything else? 1592 01:17:36,401 --> 01:17:37,736 Oh, yes, could I have one of those-- 1593 01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:38,945 No, I'm sorry. We're all out of those. 1594 01:17:39,196 --> 01:17:40,155 - Anybody else? - Okay. 1595 01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:42,908 Did I, uh, did I miss something between-- 1596 01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:45,577 No. She's still upset because I saw her boobies. 1597 01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:50,082 Well, what? What-what when you doing seeing her boobies? 1598 01:17:50,415 --> 01:17:52,668 It was an accident, it's not like I was across the street 1599 01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:54,419 with a telescope and a box of doughnuts. 1600 01:17:54,795 --> 01:17:55,921 [laughter] 1601 01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:58,507 Okay, okay. Can we change the subject, please? 1602 01:17:58,715 --> 01:18:00,842 Yeah, 'cause, hello, these are not her 'boobies'. 1603 01:18:00,842 --> 01:18:02,427 These are her breasts. 1604 01:18:03,845 --> 01:18:06,973 Okay, Pheebs. I was hoping for more of a change. 1605 01:18:08,266 --> 01:18:09,810 You know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed. 1606 01:18:09,851 --> 01:18:11,520 They were very nice boobies! 1607 01:18:13,146 --> 01:18:15,482 "Nice"? They were nice? 1608 01:18:15,732 --> 01:18:19,069 I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice. 1609 01:18:20,529 --> 01:18:24,157 Okay. Rock. Hard place.. Me! 1610 01:18:28,078 --> 01:18:31,623 You're... you're... you're so funny. 1611 01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:33,959 He's really funny. 1612 01:18:35,168 --> 01:18:38,004 I wouldn't want to be te when-when the laughter stops.. 1613 01:18:39,297 --> 01:18:41,216 Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky. 1614 01:18:43,051 --> 01:18:44,219 What did you mean by that? 1615 01:18:45,220 --> 01:18:46,888 Well, it just seems as though that 1616 01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:48,515 maybe you have intimacy issues, y'know... 1617 01:18:48,515 --> 01:18:49,850 that you use your humor as a way of... 1618 01:18:50,559 --> 01:18:52,728 keeping people at a distance. 1619 01:18:53,562 --> 01:18:55,522 - Huh. - I mean, hey... 1620 01:18:55,647 --> 01:18:58,316 I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. 1621 01:18:59,693 --> 01:19:01,194 Only child, right? 1622 01:19:02,028 --> 01:19:04,281 Parents divorced before you hit puberty. 1623 01:19:06,908 --> 01:19:08,410 Uh-huh. How did you know that? 1624 01:19:08,910 --> 01:19:10,412 It's textbook. 1625 01:19:13,206 --> 01:19:14,374 - Hey, you guys. - Hey, Joe. 1626 01:19:14,499 --> 01:19:16,001 - You all know my dad. - Hey, hey, hey. 1627 01:19:16,668 --> 01:19:18,003 Hey, how long you in the city? 1628 01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,505 Just for a couple of days. I got a job Midtown. 1629 01:19:20,672 --> 01:19:22,507 I figured I'm better off staying with the kid 1630 01:19:22,507 --> 01:19:24,926 than hauling my ass back and forth on a ferry. 1631 01:19:25,385 --> 01:19:26,386 I don't know this one. 1632 01:19:26,553 --> 01:19:27,929 - Oh, this is my friend, Roger. - Hi. 1633 01:19:28,388 --> 01:19:29,097 Hey, hey. 1634 01:19:29,139 --> 01:19:30,766 - Good to meet you, Rog. - 'You too, sir.' 1635 01:19:31,016 --> 01:19:33,643 What happened to the, uh, puppet guy? 1636 01:19:33,935 --> 01:19:34,728 Dad. 1637 01:19:35,270 --> 01:19:36,980 Oh, oh. Excuse me. 1638 01:19:37,647 --> 01:19:39,149 So, Ross, uh, how's the wife? 1639 01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:41,693 [moans] 1640 01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:42,986 0 for two, huh? 1641 01:19:44,237 --> 01:19:47,240 Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny. 1642 01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:53,955 I got to go. 1643 01:19:54,122 --> 01:19:55,165 [laughs] Miss you too. 1644 01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:58,293 I love you, but it's getting real late now-- 1645 01:19:58,335 --> 01:19:59,461 - Let me say hi. - Oh, wha-no wait-- 1646 01:19:59,461 --> 01:20:00,670 Hey, ma, listen. 1647 01:20:00,712 --> 01:20:03,173 I made the appointment with Dr. Bozita and.. 1648 01:20:05,050 --> 01:20:06,218 Excuse me? 1649 01:20:09,971 --> 01:20:12,140 Did you know this isn't ma? 1650 01:20:20,774 --> 01:20:22,192 Her name's Ronni. 1651 01:20:23,151 --> 01:20:25,278 She's a pet mortician. 1652 01:20:29,032 --> 01:20:30,158 Sure. 1653 01:20:31,243 --> 01:20:32,452 So, how long you been.. 1654 01:20:35,372 --> 01:20:37,541 Remember when you were a little kid, I used take you 1655 01:20:37,541 --> 01:20:39,626 to the navy yard and show you the big ships? 1656 01:20:40,168 --> 01:20:41,211 Since then? 1657 01:20:41,419 --> 01:20:42,712 No. It's only been six years... 1658 01:20:43,964 --> 01:20:45,757 I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head 1659 01:20:45,757 --> 01:20:48,260 so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy. 1660 01:20:51,888 --> 01:20:54,558 Joe, you ever been in love? 1661 01:20:56,309 --> 01:20:56,935 I don't know. 1662 01:20:57,727 --> 01:21:00,146 Then you haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. 1663 01:21:01,022 --> 01:21:03,149 [chuckles] You're one to talk. 1664 01:21:05,235 --> 01:21:08,530 Joe, your dad's in love big time and the worst part of is... 1665 01:21:08,697 --> 01:21:09,906 it's with two different women. 1666 01:21:10,198 --> 01:21:13,702 Oh, man, please tell me one of them is ma. 1667 01:21:13,785 --> 01:21:15,662 Of course, of course, one of them's ma. 1668 01:21:15,704 --> 01:21:16,997 What's the matter with you? 1669 01:21:25,171 --> 01:21:27,257 It's like if you woke up one day 1670 01:21:27,257 --> 01:21:29,759 and found out your dad was leading this double life. 1671 01:21:30,552 --> 01:21:33,930 He's, like, actually some spy working for the CIA 1672 01:21:35,265 --> 01:21:36,975 That would be cool. 1673 01:21:37,225 --> 01:21:38,143 This blows! 1674 01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:43,440 Yeah. I know. I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? 1675 01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:45,775 You know, why do they have to become people? 1676 01:21:46,276 --> 01:21:47,444 Why do they have.. 1677 01:21:48,653 --> 01:21:49,696 Why.. 1678 01:21:51,781 --> 01:21:55,118 ...can't you stop starig at my breasts? 1679 01:21:56,578 --> 01:21:57,787 What? 1680 01:21:59,789 --> 01:22:00,790 What? 1681 01:22:02,208 --> 01:22:04,210 Did you not get a good enough look the other day? 1682 01:22:04,252 --> 01:22:06,129 Alright, alright. We're all adults here. 1683 01:22:06,630 --> 01:22:08,632 There's only one way to resolve this. 1684 01:22:09,633 --> 01:22:11,927 Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh 1685 01:22:12,093 --> 01:22:14,387 you're going to have to show her your pee-pee. 1686 01:22:23,313 --> 01:22:25,148 You know, I don't see that happening. 1687 01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:29,861 Come on. He's right. Tit for tat. 1688 01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:36,034 Well, I'm not showing you my "tat". 1689 01:22:40,830 --> 01:22:41,581 How do I look? 1690 01:22:41,998 --> 01:22:44,876 Oh, um...I don't care. 1691 01:22:48,755 --> 01:22:49,297 There's Lorraine. 1692 01:22:50,090 --> 01:22:52,008 Okay, now remember, no trading. 1693 01:22:52,092 --> 01:22:53,885 You get the pretty one, I get the mess. 1694 01:22:54,511 --> 01:22:56,721 - Hi, Joey. - Hey. 1695 01:22:59,432 --> 01:23:00,517 Well, well. 1696 01:23:01,101 --> 01:23:02,686 Look what you brought. 1697 01:23:03,061 --> 01:23:04,854 Very nice. 1698 01:23:05,438 --> 01:23:07,524 And what did you bring? 1699 01:23:09,192 --> 01:23:10,443 She's checking her coat. 1700 01:23:11,069 --> 01:23:14,614 Joey, I'm going to go wash the cab smell off my hands 1701 01:23:14,698 --> 01:23:15,991 Will you get me a White Zinfandel 1702 01:23:16,074 --> 01:23:18,159 and a glass of red for Janice. 1703 01:23:23,206 --> 01:23:24,165 Janice? 1704 01:23:24,541 --> 01:23:25,834 No. 1705 01:23:26,126 --> 01:23:27,752 Janice? 1706 01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:30,213 Oh 1707 01:23:30,505 --> 01:23:31,840 my 1708 01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:33,675 God. 1709 01:23:37,262 --> 01:23:39,723 Hey, it's [mumbling] Janice. 1710 01:23:47,480 --> 01:23:48,440 You know.. 1711 01:23:49,065 --> 01:23:50,191 ...ever since I was little 1712 01:23:50,358 --> 01:23:52,068 I've been able to pick up quarters 1713 01:23:52,068 --> 01:23:53,737 with my toes. 1714 01:23:54,029 --> 01:23:54,654 Yeah? 1715 01:23:55,196 --> 01:23:56,698 Good for you. 1716 01:23:58,825 --> 01:24:02,746 Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters? 1717 01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:09,919 By the way, Chandler 1718 01:24:10,336 --> 01:24:11,755 I cut you out of all my pictures 1719 01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:13,923 so if you want, I have a bag 1720 01:24:14,174 --> 01:24:16,342 with just your heads. 1721 01:24:17,343 --> 01:24:18,553 That's okay. 1722 01:24:19,345 --> 01:24:20,513 Oh, are you sure? Really? 1723 01:24:20,889 --> 01:24:22,098 Because you know, you could make 1724 01:24:22,140 --> 01:24:24,350 little puppets out of them and you could use them 1725 01:24:24,350 --> 01:24:27,020 in your theater of cruelty! 1726 01:24:29,731 --> 01:24:31,316 We can't do that. 1727 01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:34,486 What? What can't you do? 1728 01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:39,407 Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there? 1729 01:24:45,872 --> 01:24:46,873 Uh. 1730 01:24:47,499 --> 01:24:49,417 We might be leaving now. 1731 01:24:50,126 --> 01:24:52,045 Tell me it's you and me, "we" 1732 01:24:53,129 --> 01:24:55,465 She said she wants to slather my body with stuff 1733 01:24:55,673 --> 01:24:56,800 and then lick it off. 1734 01:24:57,133 --> 01:24:59,636 I'm not even sure what "slathering" is. 1735 01:25:00,720 --> 01:25:03,056 But I definitely want to be a part of it. 1736 01:25:04,891 --> 01:25:07,352 Okay, you cannot do this to me. 1737 01:25:08,728 --> 01:25:10,021 You're right. I'm sorry. 1738 01:25:11,189 --> 01:25:15,401 Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go, please? 1739 01:25:16,277 --> 01:25:17,445 I'm out of here. 1740 01:25:17,737 --> 01:25:18,905 Look.. 1741 01:25:19,739 --> 01:25:20,782 ...here's my credit card. 1742 01:25:20,990 --> 01:25:22,992 Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler. 1743 01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:25,745 I hope she throws up on you. 1744 01:25:28,373 --> 01:25:29,791 Thanks. 1745 01:25:31,584 --> 01:25:32,836 So. 1746 01:25:33,169 --> 01:25:34,295 Just us. 1747 01:25:34,921 --> 01:25:36,589 Oh, what a crappy night. 1748 01:25:37,423 --> 01:25:39,509 Although, I have enjoyed the fact 1749 01:25:39,884 --> 01:25:41,761 that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper. 1750 01:25:41,928 --> 01:25:43,930 ever since you came back from the bathroom. 1751 01:25:49,769 --> 01:25:51,062 Excuse me. 1752 01:25:54,399 --> 01:25:55,942 How you doing? 1753 01:26:01,114 --> 01:26:01,364 So.. 1754 01:26:02,282 --> 01:26:04,242 ..do we have the best friends or what? 1755 01:26:04,784 --> 01:26:05,869 Joey's not a friend. 1756 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,745 He's.. 1757 01:26:09,038 --> 01:26:12,584 ...a stupid man who left us his credit card. 1758 01:26:14,002 --> 01:26:15,211 Another drink? Some dessert? 1759 01:26:15,670 --> 01:26:17,213 A big screen TV? 1760 01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,340 I will go for that drink. 1761 01:26:19,382 --> 01:26:21,301 You got it. Good woman! [snaps] 1762 01:26:26,806 --> 01:26:28,892 Can we get a bottle of most overpriced champagne? 1763 01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:30,685 - Each. - That's right, each. 1764 01:26:31,186 --> 01:26:33,271 Oh, and a Rob Roy. 1765 01:26:34,105 --> 01:26:36,024 I've always wanted to know. 1766 01:26:54,334 --> 01:26:57,962 Happy Valentine's Day. 1767 01:27:02,592 --> 01:27:03,593 Okay. Okay. 1768 01:27:03,885 --> 01:27:05,678 Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney 1769 01:27:06,596 --> 01:27:07,597 Which one was Pete Carney? 1770 01:27:07,764 --> 01:27:08,640 "Pete the Weeper"? 1771 01:27:08,932 --> 01:27:10,350 Remember the guy that used to cry 1772 01:27:10,350 --> 01:27:12,435 every time we had sex? 1773 01:27:12,977 --> 01:27:15,939 [fake crying] "Uh, was it good for you?" 1774 01:27:17,649 --> 01:27:19,859 Yeah, well, I'd take a little crying any day 1775 01:27:19,859 --> 01:27:21,611 over Howard the "I win" guy. 1776 01:27:21,986 --> 01:27:24,197 "I win, I win." 1777 01:27:25,323 --> 01:27:26,658 I went out with the guy for two months. 1778 01:27:26,658 --> 01:27:28,618 I didn't get to win onc. 1779 01:27:29,661 --> 01:27:31,537 How do we end up with these jerks? 1780 01:27:31,788 --> 01:27:32,664 We're good people. 1781 01:27:33,206 --> 01:27:34,624 I don't know, maybe we're like 1782 01:27:34,624 --> 01:27:35,625 some kind of magnets. 1783 01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:36,960 I know I am. 1784 01:27:37,168 --> 01:27:39,462 That's why I can't wear a digital watch. 1785 01:27:42,799 --> 01:27:44,801 There's more beer, right? 1786 01:27:46,636 --> 01:27:47,136 Oh! 1787 01:27:48,137 --> 01:27:50,640 You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? 1788 01:27:51,474 --> 01:27:52,850 She says that if you want to break 1789 01:27:52,976 --> 01:27:53,977 the bad boyfriend cycle 1790 01:27:54,143 --> 01:27:56,896 you can do, like, a cleansing ritual. 1791 01:27:59,232 --> 01:28:02,735 Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald. 1792 01:28:04,654 --> 01:28:05,321 Yeah. 1793 01:28:06,489 --> 01:28:08,574 So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guy. 1794 01:28:09,575 --> 01:28:11,160 It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect. 1795 01:28:11,661 --> 01:28:13,830 Okay. Well, what kind of ritual? 1796 01:28:14,080 --> 01:28:15,581 Okay, we can um.. 1797 01:28:15,915 --> 01:28:19,043 ...we can burn the stuff they gave us. 1798 01:28:19,335 --> 01:28:20,336 Or? 1799 01:28:20,878 --> 01:28:23,172 Or, or we can chant 1800 01:28:23,339 --> 01:28:24,716 and dance around naked. 1801 01:28:24,882 --> 01:28:27,010 You know, with sticks. 1802 01:28:28,845 --> 01:28:30,346 - Burning is good. - Burning is good, yeah. 1803 01:28:30,346 --> 01:28:31,597 I got stuff to burn. 1804 01:28:32,015 --> 01:28:34,767 (Phoebe) Okay, so now we need sage branches 1805 01:28:34,934 --> 01:28:36,728 and the sacramental wine. 1806 01:28:39,105 --> 01:28:41,274 All I had is-is oregano and a Fresca. 1807 01:28:41,774 --> 01:28:43,693 Um...that's okay! 1808 01:28:45,778 --> 01:28:46,529 Ooh. 1809 01:28:46,654 --> 01:28:47,113 Okay. 1810 01:28:48,364 --> 01:28:52,535 Alright, now we need the semen of a righteous man. 1811 01:28:57,623 --> 01:28:59,042 Okay, Pheebs, you know what? 1812 01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:00,877 If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual 1813 01:29:00,877 --> 01:29:01,878 in the first place. 1814 01:29:03,629 --> 01:29:05,423 - Can we just start throwing things in? - Um.. 1815 01:29:05,798 --> 01:29:06,716 Yeah, okay! 1816 01:29:06,966 --> 01:29:07,759 Oh. 1817 01:29:08,051 --> 01:29:09,635 Okay. 1818 01:29:10,887 --> 01:29:13,264 Okay, Barry's letters. 1819 01:29:13,931 --> 01:29:15,433 Adam Ritter's boxer sho. 1820 01:29:16,476 --> 01:29:19,062 Oh, and I have the recet from my dinner with 1821 01:29:19,062 --> 01:29:21,606 Nokulule Oon [tongue click] Ah . 1822 01:29:25,234 --> 01:29:27,070 Here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked. 1823 01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:27,862 - Oh. - Let me see. 1824 01:29:28,696 --> 01:29:29,989 He's wearing a sweater. 1825 01:29:30,073 --> 01:29:30,907 No. 1826 01:29:31,115 --> 01:29:32,742 - Eww. - Eww. 1827 01:29:36,079 --> 01:29:36,746 Okay 1828 01:29:37,372 --> 01:29:39,540 and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa! 1829 01:29:39,916 --> 01:29:41,751 Wait, Rachel, isn't that almost pure.. 1830 01:29:45,171 --> 01:29:47,298 [instrumental music] 1831 01:29:48,383 --> 01:29:50,551 Hey, you guys, you guys, Chandler's coming. 1832 01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:52,845 And he says he has like, this incredible news. 1833 01:29:52,970 --> 01:29:55,390 So when he comes, let's all act like, you know-- 1834 01:29:55,598 --> 01:29:56,891 - Hey. - Okay, never mind. 1835 01:29:57,600 --> 01:29:59,310 But it was gonna be really good. 1836 01:30:00,895 --> 01:30:02,605 - What's going on? - What's up? 1837 01:30:02,647 --> 01:30:04,399 So, it's a typical day at work. 1838 01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:06,234 I'm in putting my numbers, and Big Al 1839 01:30:06,317 --> 01:30:07,360 calls me into his office 1840 01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:10,405 and tells me, he wants to make me "processing supervisor" 1841 01:30:10,655 --> 01:30:12,782 - That is great! - Congratulations. 1842 01:30:12,990 --> 01:30:13,908 So... 1843 01:30:14,450 --> 01:30:15,451 I quit. 1844 01:30:15,743 --> 01:30:17,036 - What? Why? - Why? 1845 01:30:17,412 --> 01:30:19,664 Why? This was supposed to be a temp job! 1846 01:30:19,747 --> 01:30:21,791 Yeah, Chandler, you've been there for five years. 1847 01:30:22,959 --> 01:30:25,128 But, if I took this promotion it'd be like admitting 1848 01:30:25,128 --> 01:30:26,796 that this is what I actually do! 1849 01:30:27,130 --> 01:30:28,589 So, is it a lot more money? 1850 01:30:28,798 --> 01:30:30,967 It doesn't matter, I just don't wanna be one of those guys 1851 01:30:30,967 --> 01:30:32,844 that's in his office until 12 o'clock at night 1852 01:30:32,844 --> 01:30:34,429 worrying about the WENUS. 1853 01:30:38,182 --> 01:30:39,517 The... the "WENUS"? 1854 01:30:39,809 --> 01:30:41,686 Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. 1855 01:30:42,270 --> 01:30:44,021 It's a processing term. 1856 01:30:44,272 --> 01:30:46,107 Oh...that WEENUS. 1857 01:30:47,608 --> 01:30:48,776 So, what are you gonna do? 1858 01:30:48,943 --> 01:30:51,279 I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I wanna do... 1859 01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:53,573 I just know I'm not gona figure it out working there. 1860 01:30:53,573 --> 01:30:55,533 Oh! I have something you can do. 1861 01:30:56,117 --> 01:30:58,578 I have this new massage client, Steve. 1862 01:30:59,912 --> 01:31:02,957 Anyway, um.. he's opening up a restaurant 1863 01:31:02,957 --> 01:31:05,376 and he's looking for a head chef. 1864 01:31:07,336 --> 01:31:10,089 - Um...hi, there. - Hi. 1865 01:31:11,174 --> 01:31:12,842 Oh, yeah, I know, I know, you're a chef. 1866 01:31:13,009 --> 01:31:14,385 I know and I thought of you first. 1867 01:31:14,969 --> 01:31:17,972 But, um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now. So.. 1868 01:31:20,057 --> 01:31:22,643 Yeah, I just don't have a lot of cheffing experience. 1869 01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:25,813 Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. 1870 01:31:26,189 --> 01:31:26,898 Yeah, yeah. 1871 01:31:27,398 --> 01:31:29,025 What kind of food is he looking for? 1872 01:31:29,484 --> 01:31:31,194 Well, he wants to do something eclectic. 1873 01:31:31,319 --> 01:31:32,653 So he's looking for someone 1874 01:31:32,653 --> 01:31:34,405 who can create the entire menu. 1875 01:31:34,739 --> 01:31:36,324 - Oh, my God! - Yeah, I know. 1876 01:31:36,866 --> 01:31:38,284 So, what do you think? 1877 01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,330 Thanks, Phoebe, I just don't really see myself 1878 01:31:42,330 --> 01:31:43,289 in a big white hat. 1879 01:31:43,414 --> 01:31:44,707 Okay. 1880 01:31:46,542 --> 01:31:48,669 Oh, Monica, guess what!? 1881 01:31:50,171 --> 01:31:50,880 [instrumental music] 1882 01:31:51,214 --> 01:31:52,590 "Vulva"? 1883 01:31:54,258 --> 01:31:56,135 Alright. I panicked. Alright? 1884 01:31:56,844 --> 01:31:59,055 She...she took me by surprise, you know. 1885 01:31:59,138 --> 01:32:00,723 But, it wasn't a total loss. 1886 01:32:00,848 --> 01:32:02,266 I mean, uh, we ended up cuddling. 1887 01:32:02,767 --> 01:32:04,227 Whoa, you cuddled? 1888 01:32:04,352 --> 01:32:05,603 How many times? 1889 01:32:07,396 --> 01:32:08,356 Shut up. It was nice. 1890 01:32:08,523 --> 01:32:10,399 I didn't.. I just don't think 1891 01:32:10,441 --> 01:32:12,360 I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know? 1892 01:32:12,401 --> 01:32:15,238 What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her 1893 01:32:15,238 --> 01:32:17,406 and what you want her to do to you 1894 01:32:17,573 --> 01:32:18,908 and what you think other people might 1895 01:32:18,950 --> 01:32:20,868 be doing to each other. 1896 01:32:21,410 --> 01:32:22,161 Look. I tell you what. 1897 01:32:22,578 --> 01:32:24,372 Try something on me. 1898 01:32:27,208 --> 01:32:28,876 Please be kidding. 1899 01:32:31,254 --> 01:32:32,672 Why not? Come on. 1900 01:32:32,672 --> 01:32:34,257 Just...just close your eyes 1901 01:32:34,298 --> 01:32:35,258 and tell me what you'd like 1902 01:32:35,258 --> 01:32:37,093 to be doing right now. 1903 01:32:41,472 --> 01:32:45,476 Okay. I'm, uh.. I'm in my apartment.. 1904 01:32:46,727 --> 01:32:48,229 - Yeah...what else? - That's it. 1905 01:32:48,312 --> 01:32:49,605 I'm in my apartment. You're not there. 1906 01:32:49,605 --> 01:32:50,940 We're not having this conversation. 1907 01:32:51,148 --> 01:32:52,733 Alright, look, I'll start, okay? 1908 01:32:52,817 --> 01:32:54,235 - Joey, please. - C'mon, c'mon, alright. 1909 01:32:54,610 --> 01:32:56,070 Ready? Look. 1910 01:32:56,445 --> 01:32:57,780 Oh, Ross.. 1911 01:32:59,949 --> 01:33:01,284 You get me so hot. 1912 01:33:01,409 --> 01:33:03,619 I want your lips on me now. 1913 01:33:04,620 --> 01:33:06,330 - Huh? - Hmm. 1914 01:33:08,958 --> 01:33:10,585 Alright. Now you say something. 1915 01:33:10,668 --> 01:33:12,587 I, uh, I really don't think so. 1916 01:33:12,628 --> 01:33:15,631 -C'mon, you like this woman, right? - Well, yeah. 1917 01:33:15,798 --> 01:33:17,258 - You want to see her again, right? - Sure.. 1918 01:33:17,300 --> 01:33:19,260 Well, if you can't talk dirty to me 1919 01:33:19,260 --> 01:33:20,636 how you gonna talk dirty to her? 1920 01:33:20,636 --> 01:33:23,472 Now, tell me you want to caress my butt! 1921 01:33:28,436 --> 01:33:29,812 Okay. Turn around. 1922 01:33:31,272 --> 01:33:33,649 I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this. 1923 01:33:33,691 --> 01:33:36,777 Alright. Alright. I'm not looking. Go ahead 1924 01:33:37,028 --> 01:33:38,279 Okay. 1925 01:33:40,281 --> 01:33:41,157 [clearing throat] 1926 01:33:41,407 --> 01:33:41,741 I want.. 1927 01:33:42,617 --> 01:33:45,494 Okay, I-I wanna... feel your.. 1928 01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:48,623 ...hot, soft skin with my lips. 1929 01:33:49,624 --> 01:33:51,167 There you go! 1930 01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:53,294 Keep going. Keep going. 1931 01:33:54,795 --> 01:33:56,172 I, uh.. 1932 01:33:58,799 --> 01:34:01,469 ...I wanna take my tongue, and.. 1933 01:34:09,310 --> 01:34:10,728 ...and, and.. 1934 01:34:11,062 --> 01:34:12,480 Say it. 1935 01:34:15,650 --> 01:34:16,817 Say it! 1936 01:34:17,735 --> 01:34:20,363 Run it all over your body until you're.. 1937 01:34:22,990 --> 01:34:25,534 ...trembling with...with... 1938 01:34:44,679 --> 01:34:46,514 With..? 1939 01:34:48,224 --> 01:34:48,849 Funny story. 1940 01:34:48,933 --> 01:34:50,393 You're not gonna believe this. 1941 01:34:50,434 --> 01:34:52,687 It's okay, it's okay, I was always rooting 1942 01:34:52,728 --> 01:34:54,605 for you two kids to get together. 1943 01:34:54,897 --> 01:34:55,731 Hey, guys. 1944 01:34:56,107 --> 01:34:56,899 Hey. 1945 01:34:57,108 --> 01:34:59,026 Hey, Pheebs, guess who we saw today. 1946 01:34:59,443 --> 01:35:00,736 Ooh! Oh, fun! Okay. 1947 01:35:00,903 --> 01:35:02,530 - Um, Liam Neeson? - No. 1948 01:35:02,988 --> 01:35:04,115 - Morley Safer? - Nope. 1949 01:35:04,782 --> 01:35:06,075 - The woman who cuts my hair? - No. 1950 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:08,202 Okay. Look, this could be a really long game. 1951 01:35:08,786 --> 01:35:11,372 - Your sister, Ursula. - Oh. Really? 1952 01:35:11,539 --> 01:35:13,791 Yeah, yeah. She works over at that place, uh-- 1953 01:35:13,874 --> 01:35:15,960 - Riff's. Yeah, I know. - Oh, you do? 1954 01:35:16,001 --> 01:35:18,045 Because she said you guys haven't talked in like, years... 1955 01:35:18,295 --> 01:35:20,172 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1956 01:35:22,133 --> 01:35:24,301 So, um, is she fat? 1957 01:35:26,679 --> 01:35:28,848 Not from where I was standing. 1958 01:35:29,473 --> 01:35:31,225 Where were you standing? 1959 01:35:33,644 --> 01:35:36,731 Uh, Pheebs, so you-you guys just don't get along? 1960 01:35:36,731 --> 01:35:39,316 [sighs] It's mostly just dumb sister stuff. 1961 01:35:39,567 --> 01:35:41,402 I mean, like everyone always thought of her 1962 01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:43,362 as the pretty one, you know, and.. 1963 01:35:43,904 --> 01:35:44,905 Oh! Oh! 1964 01:35:45,156 --> 01:35:46,824 She was the first one to start walking 1965 01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:48,409 even though I did it 1966 01:35:48,826 --> 01:35:50,828 later that same day. 1967 01:35:51,746 --> 01:35:53,247 But to my parents by then it was like 1968 01:35:53,330 --> 01:35:55,040 "Yeah, right. W-what else is new?" 1969 01:35:56,250 --> 01:35:58,502 Oh! Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've got to go. 1970 01:35:58,544 --> 01:36:00,171 I've, I've got Lamaze class. 1971 01:36:00,171 --> 01:36:01,756 Oh, and I've got earth science 1972 01:36:01,881 --> 01:36:03,507 but I'll catch you in gym? 1973 01:36:06,677 --> 01:36:08,846 [sighs] So, is this just gonna be you and Carol? 1974 01:36:09,013 --> 01:36:11,098 No. Susan's going to be there too. 1975 01:36:11,098 --> 01:36:12,850 We've got dads, we've got lesbians. 1976 01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:14,935 The whole parenting team. 1977 01:36:16,103 --> 01:36:17,730 Well, isn't, isn't that going to be weird? 1978 01:36:17,938 --> 01:36:18,522 No, no. 1979 01:36:18,522 --> 01:36:20,775 I mean, it might've been at first, but by now 1980 01:36:20,775 --> 01:36:22,943 I-I think I'm pretty comfortable with the whole situation. 1981 01:36:22,985 --> 01:36:25,529 - Ross, that's my jacket. - I know. 1982 01:36:27,114 --> 01:36:29,617 [instrumental music] 1983 01:36:33,454 --> 01:36:35,873 Hi. We're the Rostins. 1984 01:36:35,956 --> 01:36:36,791 I'm J.C. 1985 01:36:36,916 --> 01:36:38,292 And he's Michael. 1986 01:36:38,751 --> 01:36:42,046 And we're having a boy and a girl. 1987 01:36:42,171 --> 01:36:44,006 [chuckles] Good for you. 1988 01:36:44,215 --> 01:36:46,133 Alrighty. Next? 1989 01:36:46,884 --> 01:36:48,385 Hi, um, I'm, uh.. 1990 01:36:48,636 --> 01:36:48,969 [clears throat] 1991 01:36:49,386 --> 01:36:50,930 I'm Ross Geller and, uh 1992 01:36:50,930 --> 01:36:52,598 that's, that's my boy in there. 1993 01:36:52,640 --> 01:36:53,557 [chuckles] 1994 01:36:53,557 --> 01:36:55,142 And this is Carol Willick 1995 01:36:55,142 --> 01:36:57,978 and this...is Susan Bunch.. 1996 01:36:59,563 --> 01:37:01,816 Susan is, um, Carol's.. 1997 01:37:01,816 --> 01:37:03,651 [mumbles] 1998 01:37:05,986 --> 01:37:06,821 [chuckles] 1999 01:37:06,821 --> 01:37:08,697 - Um-- - Who's next? 2000 01:37:10,741 --> 01:37:12,326 I'm sorry. I didn't get. Susan is.. 2001 01:37:12,451 --> 01:37:14,411 Susan's Carol's, Carol's, Carol's friend. 2002 01:37:14,411 --> 01:37:16,163 - Life partner. - Like buddies. 2003 01:37:17,414 --> 01:37:18,749 Like lovers. 2004 01:37:18,874 --> 01:37:21,168 You know how close women can get. 2005 01:37:22,127 --> 01:37:23,546 Susan and I live together. 2006 01:37:23,629 --> 01:37:25,005 Although I was married to her. 2007 01:37:25,089 --> 01:37:26,632 - Carol, not me. - Uh, right. 2008 01:37:26,799 --> 01:37:27,925 - It's a little complicated. - A little. 2009 01:37:27,925 --> 01:37:29,677 - But we're fine. - Absolutely. 2010 01:37:31,345 --> 01:37:32,471 So twins? 2011 01:37:33,097 --> 01:37:35,057 That's, like, two births. 2012 01:37:37,977 --> 01:37:39,144 Ouch! 2013 01:37:43,274 --> 01:37:45,025 It's not just that she's cute, okay? 2014 01:37:45,025 --> 01:37:46,360 It's just that.. 2015 01:37:46,777 --> 01:37:48,779 ...she's really, really cute. 2016 01:37:49,530 --> 01:37:50,364 It doesn't matter. 2017 01:37:50,364 --> 01:37:51,615 You don't dip your pen 2018 01:37:51,782 --> 01:37:53,534 in the company ink. 2019 01:37:54,869 --> 01:37:56,412 [squeaking] 2020 01:37:56,579 --> 01:37:58,414 Ross, your little creature's 2021 01:37:58,414 --> 01:38:00,374 got the remote again. 2022 01:38:01,584 --> 01:38:03,878 Marcel, Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 2023 01:38:04,211 --> 01:38:05,588 (man on TV) He meant to take.. 2024 01:38:05,588 --> 01:38:06,881 Marcel. 2025 01:38:07,882 --> 01:38:10,467 Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now. 2026 01:38:10,885 --> 01:38:12,303 [squeaking] 2027 01:38:13,053 --> 01:38:14,221 (man on TV) '...and I win--' 2028 01:38:14,221 --> 01:38:15,723 'Marcel, you give Rossy the remote.' 2029 01:38:15,723 --> 01:38:17,308 [TV audio in Spanish] 2030 01:38:17,308 --> 01:38:20,227 - Great. - Relax. I'll fix it. 2031 01:38:20,728 --> 01:38:22,229 [TV audio in Spanish] 2032 01:38:22,438 --> 01:38:23,230 'Oh, cool.' 2033 01:38:23,397 --> 01:38:25,316 "Urkel" in Spanish 2034 01:38:25,733 --> 01:38:27,234 is "Urkel." 2035 01:38:29,236 --> 01:38:31,113 How did he do this? 2036 01:38:32,323 --> 01:38:34,575 So, tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up 2037 01:38:34,575 --> 01:38:36,785 part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? 2038 01:38:37,661 --> 01:38:39,079 No, no, you see, someone was supposed 2039 01:38:39,079 --> 01:38:41,123 to take them down around New Year's 2040 01:38:41,165 --> 01:38:43,334 but obviously someone forgot. 2041 01:38:43,500 --> 01:38:45,419 Well, someone was supposed to write 2042 01:38:45,502 --> 01:38:47,171 "Rach, take down the lights" 2043 01:38:47,171 --> 01:38:50,090 and put it on the refrigera.. 2044 01:38:52,176 --> 01:38:54,261 How long has that been there? 2045 01:38:55,804 --> 01:38:56,847 Hey, where you been? 2046 01:38:57,264 --> 01:38:58,098 I went back to Riff's. 2047 01:38:58,307 --> 01:38:59,934 I think Ursula likes me. 2048 01:38:59,934 --> 01:39:01,101 All I ordered was coffee. 2049 01:39:01,268 --> 01:39:02,353 She brought me a tuna melt 2050 01:39:02,353 --> 01:39:04,021 and four plates of curly fries. 2051 01:39:06,982 --> 01:39:08,776 Score. 2052 01:39:09,485 --> 01:39:13,280 - She is so hot. - Yeah, listen. Okay. 2053 01:39:13,447 --> 01:39:15,115 Before you do anything Joey-like 2054 01:39:15,449 --> 01:39:17,368 you might wanna run it by, uh.. 2055 01:39:17,826 --> 01:39:18,661 [laughing on TV] 2056 01:39:19,203 --> 01:39:19,787 - Yeah? - Yeah. 2057 01:39:19,787 --> 01:39:21,121 Yeah. Pheebs? 2058 01:39:21,455 --> 01:39:21,664 Yeah. 2059 01:39:22,873 --> 01:39:25,376 Do you think it would by if I asked out your sister? 2060 01:39:25,376 --> 01:39:27,836 Why? Why would you want to do that? 2061 01:39:27,836 --> 01:39:29,129 Why? 2062 01:39:30,047 --> 01:39:31,465 Well, so that if we went out on a date 2063 01:39:31,465 --> 01:39:33,550 she'd be there. 2064 01:39:38,472 --> 01:39:40,474 Well, I mean, I'm not my sister's 2065 01:39:40,516 --> 01:39:42,893 you know, whatever and, uh.. 2066 01:39:43,811 --> 01:39:46,397 I mean...it's true we were one egg once 2067 01:39:46,397 --> 01:39:47,815 but, uh.. 2068 01:39:48,565 --> 01:39:49,650 You know, we've grown apart 2069 01:39:49,650 --> 01:39:50,734 so, um.. 2070 01:39:51,485 --> 01:39:53,362 I don't know. Why not? Okay. 2071 01:39:53,487 --> 01:39:54,321 Cool. Thanks. 2072 01:39:54,989 --> 01:39:56,865 [man on TV speaking Spanish] 2073 01:39:57,032 --> 01:39:58,325 [Phoebe sighs] 2074 01:39:58,492 --> 01:39:59,576 You okay? 2075 01:39:59,827 --> 01:40:01,161 Yeah. I'm fine. 2076 01:40:02,162 --> 01:40:04,164 You wanna watch "Laverne y Shirley?"█ 2077 01:40:04,164 --> 01:40:07,334 Cinco, seis, siete, ocho 2078 01:40:07,334 --> 01:40:08,335 (women on TV) 'Schlemiel! Schlamaze█ 2079 01:40:09,086 --> 01:40:09,920 'Hasenpfeffer Incorporado 2080 01:40:16,135 --> 01:40:17,261 Rachel, what are you doing? 2081 01:40:17,261 --> 01:40:18,178 It's freezing out here. 2082 01:40:18,178 --> 01:40:19,221 Would you come back inside? 2083 01:40:19,763 --> 01:40:20,931 No, no, no, no, no. 2084 01:40:21,265 --> 01:40:22,933 You wanted me to take 'em down 2085 01:40:23,267 --> 01:40:25,352 so...I'm taking 2086 01:40:25,352 --> 01:40:26,812 'em down, okay? 2087 01:40:27,229 --> 01:40:28,230 Whoa. Whoa! 2088 01:40:28,772 --> 01:40:30,274 Oh, my God. Rachel! 2089 01:40:30,774 --> 01:40:34,028 - Rachel! - I'm okay! I'm okay! 2090 01:40:35,112 --> 01:40:36,113 Mr. Heckles? 2091 01:40:37,239 --> 01:40:39,992 Mr. Heckles, could you, could you help me, please? 2092 01:40:41,326 --> 01:40:44,204 See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 2093 01:40:44,204 --> 01:40:47,082 [theme music] 2094 01:40:48,584 --> 01:40:53,422 - Ow, ow, ow. - Ow, ow, ow. 2095 01:40:53,922 --> 01:40:56,467 Hi, uh, my friend here was taking down 2096 01:40:56,508 --> 01:40:58,385 our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony 2097 01:40:58,469 --> 01:41:00,429 and may have broken her foot or, or ankle or something.. 2098 01:41:00,846 --> 01:41:03,599 My God. You still have your Christmas lights up?! 2099 01:41:05,601 --> 01:41:07,102 Fill this out and bring it back to me. 2100 01:41:07,686 --> 01:41:09,521 - Okay, here we go. - Ow, ow, ow. 2101 01:41:09,521 --> 01:41:11,565 Ow, ow, ow. 2102 01:41:12,066 --> 01:41:13,067 Okay. 2103 01:41:13,484 --> 01:41:15,819 Ooh. Alright. 2104 01:41:15,819 --> 01:41:17,029 Name. 2105 01:41:17,237 --> 01:41:18,572 Address. 2106 01:41:19,656 --> 01:41:22,409 Okay. In case of emergency, call? 2107 01:41:22,409 --> 01:41:23,869 You. 2108 01:41:24,328 --> 01:41:25,454 Really? 2109 01:41:25,746 --> 01:41:26,705 Yeah. 2110 01:41:27,331 --> 01:41:30,167 Oh, that's so sweet. 2111 01:41:31,085 --> 01:41:33,629 Oh, gosh. I love you. 2112 01:41:33,670 --> 01:41:34,671 Insurance? 2113 01:41:35,255 --> 01:41:36,423 Oh, yeah. Check it. 2114 01:41:36,423 --> 01:41:39,259 Definitely gonna want some of that. 2115 01:41:39,635 --> 01:41:40,928 You don't have insurance? 2116 01:41:41,220 --> 01:41:42,429 Why? How much is this gonna cost? 2117 01:41:42,930 --> 01:41:44,348 I have no idea, but X-rays alone 2118 01:41:44,348 --> 01:41:45,766 could be a couple hundred dollars. 2119 01:41:45,766 --> 01:41:47,142 Well, what are we gonna do? 2120 01:41:47,267 --> 01:41:48,727 There's not much we can do. 2121 01:41:49,520 --> 01:41:53,023 Um...unless, unless I use yours. 2122 01:41:53,524 --> 01:41:55,692 No, no, no.. 2123 01:41:56,193 --> 01:41:57,653 Well, now, wait a second. 2124 01:41:57,820 --> 01:42:00,948 Who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person? 2125 01:42:01,198 --> 01:42:03,617 That's insurance fraud. 2126 01:42:04,535 --> 01:42:06,453 Well, alright. Then, forget it. 2127 01:42:06,453 --> 01:42:07,830 Might as well just go home. 2128 01:42:08,038 --> 01:42:09,540 Ow. Ow. Ow! 2129 01:42:09,790 --> 01:42:11,583 Okay. Okay, come here. 2130 01:42:11,875 --> 01:42:13,377 - I hate this. - Thank you. 2131 01:42:13,710 --> 01:42:15,003 Thank you, I love you. 2132 01:42:15,212 --> 01:42:15,796 Hi. 2133 01:42:16,797 --> 01:42:20,134 Um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms. 2134 01:42:20,134 --> 01:42:21,677 Why? 2135 01:42:22,803 --> 01:42:25,430 I am really an idiot. 2136 01:42:26,140 --> 01:42:28,142 You see I was filling out my friend's form 2137 01:42:28,142 --> 01:42:30,894 and instead of putting her information 2138 01:42:31,145 --> 01:42:32,437 I put mine. 2139 01:42:32,437 --> 01:42:33,772 You are an idiot. 2140 01:42:34,731 --> 01:42:37,568 [instrumental music] 2141 01:42:45,701 --> 01:42:46,577 Hey. 2142 01:42:47,995 --> 01:42:48,620 Oh. 2143 01:42:50,914 --> 01:42:52,624 Um, have you got a minute? 2144 01:42:52,624 --> 01:42:55,878 Um, yeah. I'm just working. 2145 01:43:03,969 --> 01:43:05,804 - So. - Uh-huh. 2146 01:43:07,472 --> 01:43:09,725 Um, oh, I got you a birthday present. 2147 01:43:10,058 --> 01:43:12,644 Oh, wow, you remembered. 2148 01:43:16,190 --> 01:43:18,984 Oh, it's a Judy Jetson thermos. 2149 01:43:19,234 --> 01:43:20,694 Right, like the kind you-- 2150 01:43:20,694 --> 01:43:21,778 Right. 2151 01:43:22,696 --> 01:43:24,531 Oh, I got something for you too. 2152 01:43:25,157 --> 01:43:26,491 How'd you know I was coming? 2153 01:43:27,075 --> 01:43:30,162 Um...yeah, um, twin thing. 2154 01:43:32,289 --> 01:43:34,416 I can't believe you did this. 2155 01:43:34,666 --> 01:43:39,213 I can't believe you...did this.. 2156 01:43:40,422 --> 01:43:41,215 So.. 2157 01:43:42,758 --> 01:43:44,927 What's the deal with, um, you and Joey? 2158 01:43:45,510 --> 01:43:46,762 Oh, right. 2159 01:43:46,887 --> 01:43:48,347 He is so great. 2160 01:43:48,680 --> 01:43:50,307 But that's over. 2161 01:43:50,974 --> 01:43:51,808 Does he know? 2162 01:43:52,142 --> 01:43:53,310 Who? 2163 01:43:53,518 --> 01:43:55,687 Joey. You know, um.. 2164 01:43:56,355 --> 01:43:58,774 He's, he's really nutsy about you. 2165 01:43:58,774 --> 01:44:01,610 - He is? Why? - You got me. 2166 01:44:01,860 --> 01:44:03,237 Right. Excuse me. 2167 01:44:03,737 --> 01:44:06,531 Doesn't this come with a side salad? 2168 01:44:08,033 --> 01:44:10,202 So, um, are you going to call him? 2169 01:44:10,202 --> 01:44:11,536 What? You think he likes me? 2170 01:44:11,536 --> 01:44:12,913 No, Joey. 2171 01:44:13,413 --> 01:44:15,249 Oh. No. 2172 01:44:15,249 --> 01:44:16,541 No. He is so smart. 2173 01:44:16,917 --> 01:44:18,460 He'll figure it out. 2174 01:44:18,502 --> 01:44:20,671 Do you want some chicken? 2175 01:44:21,171 --> 01:44:23,674 No. No food with a face. 2176 01:44:24,049 --> 01:44:26,134 You have not changed. 2177 01:44:26,551 --> 01:44:28,553 Yeah, you too. 2178 01:44:36,812 --> 01:44:37,980 Hey. 2179 01:44:39,231 --> 01:44:41,733 Urs...what are you doing here? 2180 01:44:41,733 --> 01:44:43,402 I've been trying to call you. 2181 01:44:44,069 --> 01:44:45,988 - Listen, um-- - Oh, no, no, no. 2182 01:44:45,988 --> 01:44:47,155 Don't say, "listen." 2183 01:44:47,155 --> 01:44:50,158 I know that "listen." I've said that "listen." 2184 01:44:50,742 --> 01:44:51,743 I'm sorry. 2185 01:44:52,286 --> 01:44:54,454 I don't get it. What happened? 2186 01:44:54,454 --> 01:44:57,457 What about everything you said under the bridge? 2187 01:44:57,833 --> 01:44:59,960 Yeah, um.. 2188 01:45:00,836 --> 01:45:02,462 You know, you should just forget about 2189 01:45:02,462 --> 01:45:03,797 what I said under the bridge. 2190 01:45:03,797 --> 01:45:05,465 I was talking crazy that night. 2191 01:45:05,465 --> 01:45:08,427 I was so drunk. 2192 01:45:08,885 --> 01:45:09,845 You don't drink. 2193 01:45:10,429 --> 01:45:12,139 That's right, I don't. 2194 01:45:12,806 --> 01:45:15,309 But I was, I was drunk on you.. 2195 01:45:16,476 --> 01:45:17,936 - Oh, Urs. - But, okay, yeah. 2196 01:45:17,936 --> 01:45:18,687 So it's not gonna work. 2197 01:45:19,646 --> 01:45:22,774 Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe? 2198 01:45:23,859 --> 01:45:27,529 If it was, would you stop hanging out with her? 2199 01:45:28,530 --> 01:45:31,616 No. No. I, I couldn't do that. 2200 01:45:32,534 --> 01:45:35,829 Um, then, yeah. It's 'cause of Phoebe. 2201 01:45:36,496 --> 01:45:39,082 So, you know, it's either her or me. 2202 01:45:40,834 --> 01:45:43,545 Then, uh, then I'm sorry. 2203 01:45:48,675 --> 01:45:49,718 You know.. 2204 01:45:50,469 --> 01:45:53,472 ...you're going to be really really hard to get over. 2205 01:45:53,472 --> 01:45:55,599 I know. 2206 01:46:00,645 --> 01:46:03,565 I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breaking up 2207 01:46:03,565 --> 01:46:07,694 but...you have never looked so beautiful. 2208 01:46:08,153 --> 01:46:10,322 Really? 2209 01:46:39,935 --> 01:46:42,312 - Pheebs? - Yeah? Oh.. 2210 01:46:45,148 --> 01:46:46,274 [laughing] 2211 01:46:46,608 --> 01:46:47,109 Shut up! 2212 01:46:47,526 --> 01:46:49,403 We're not saying anything. 2213 01:46:49,694 --> 01:46:52,406 - What? - Uh, Joey cried last night. 2214 01:46:53,698 --> 01:46:54,491 Thank you. 2215 01:46:55,700 --> 01:46:56,701 We were playing poker, right... 2216 01:46:56,827 --> 01:46:58,453 There was chocolate on the three. 2217 01:46:58,495 --> 01:46:59,996 It looked like an eight, alright? 2218 01:47:01,123 --> 01:47:02,958 Oh, you should have seen him.. 2219 01:47:03,458 --> 01:47:04,876 "Read 'em and weep." 2220 01:47:05,335 --> 01:47:06,795 And then he did. 2221 01:47:08,547 --> 01:47:11,842 Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us? 2222 01:47:11,925 --> 01:47:14,302 Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? 2223 01:47:14,344 --> 01:47:16,346 Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? 2224 01:47:16,555 --> 01:47:18,807 Like, it's poker, so only guys can play. 2225 01:47:19,224 --> 01:47:20,809 No. Women are welcome to play. 2226 01:47:20,809 --> 01:47:22,227 Oh, okay. So then what is it? 2227 01:47:22,269 --> 01:47:22,978 Some kind of, you know.. 2228 01:47:23,103 --> 01:47:25,564 ...like, some kind of, you know, like.. 2229 01:47:25,939 --> 01:47:26,690 Alright, what is it? 2230 01:47:29,109 --> 01:47:31,570 There just don't happen to be any women in our game. 2231 01:47:31,570 --> 01:47:33,905 Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women 2232 01:47:33,947 --> 01:47:35,157 that know how to play poker. 2233 01:47:35,323 --> 01:47:37,576 - Oh. - Oh please, that is such a lame excuse! 2234 01:47:37,659 --> 01:47:39,494 I mean, it-it's a typical guy response. 2235 01:47:39,494 --> 01:47:41,371 Excuse me, do any of you know how to play? 2236 01:47:41,913 --> 01:47:43,790 (in unison) No. 2237 01:47:45,000 --> 01:47:46,168 But, you could teach us. 2238 01:47:46,293 --> 01:47:48,128 (in unison) No. 2239 01:47:52,632 --> 01:47:56,136 Okay, so now we draw cards. 2240 01:48:00,182 --> 01:48:01,516 So, I wouldn't need any, right? 2241 01:48:01,558 --> 01:48:02,559 'Cause I have a straight! 2242 01:48:02,767 --> 01:48:04,603 - Oh! Good for you! - Congratulations! 2243 01:48:08,273 --> 01:48:09,941 Okay, Pheebs, how many do you want? 2244 01:48:10,150 --> 01:48:11,818 Okay. I just need two. 2245 01:48:12,027 --> 01:48:14,988 The, uh, ten of spades and the six of clubs. 2246 01:48:16,990 --> 01:48:18,825 No, Pheebs, you can't do-- 2247 01:48:18,825 --> 01:48:20,285 Oh, wait, I have the ten of spades. Here, you want it? 2248 01:48:20,285 --> 01:48:21,536 No, no. 2249 01:48:23,455 --> 01:48:25,749 Uh, no, see, you-you can't do that. 2250 01:48:25,832 --> 01:48:27,209 Oh, no, no, no, that's okay. 2251 01:48:27,250 --> 01:48:28,627 I don't need them. I'm going for fours. 2252 01:48:28,710 --> 01:48:31,254 Oh, you're.. 2253 01:48:35,550 --> 01:48:36,676 Alright, here we go. 2254 01:48:36,968 --> 01:48:39,554 We got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites. 2255 01:48:39,971 --> 01:48:41,973 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what are you doin'? 2256 01:48:42,307 --> 01:48:44,226 This is a poker game, you can't serve food 2257 01:48:44,267 --> 01:48:45,810 with more than one syllable. 2258 01:48:46,311 --> 01:48:49,648 It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz. 2259 01:48:52,567 --> 01:48:53,860 Okay, so at this point, the dealer-- 2260 01:48:53,902 --> 01:48:55,612 Alright, you know, we got it. Let's play for real, alright? 2261 01:48:55,820 --> 01:48:58,532 - High stakes, big bucks. - Alright, now, you sure? 2262 01:48:58,615 --> 01:48:59,991 Pheebe just threw away two jacks 2263 01:48:59,991 --> 01:49:01,993 because they didn't look happy. 2264 01:49:06,581 --> 01:49:09,042 But, I'm ready, so just deal. 2265 01:49:09,501 --> 01:49:11,253 Okay. Alright, last-minute lesson, last-minute lesson. 2266 01:49:11,419 --> 01:49:14,005 Joey, three.. 2267 01:49:14,381 --> 01:49:15,215 ...eight. 2268 01:49:16,049 --> 01:49:18,385 Eight, three. Alright. Very good. 2269 01:49:23,306 --> 01:49:25,183 Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! 2270 01:49:25,976 --> 01:49:27,894 I see. So then, you were lying. 2271 01:49:28,353 --> 01:49:28,853 About what? 2272 01:49:29,229 --> 01:49:30,814 About how good your cards were. 2273 01:49:31,273 --> 01:49:32,190 I was bluffing. 2274 01:49:32,691 --> 01:49:35,443 Uh-huh. And what is bluffing? 2275 01:49:37,612 --> 01:49:40,115 Is it not another word for lying? 2276 01:49:41,116 --> 01:49:43,243 Okay, sorry to break up this party 2277 01:49:43,285 --> 01:49:45,912 but, I've got resumes to fax before lunch tomorrow. 2278 01:49:46,621 --> 01:49:47,998 Rach, Rach, we gotta settle. 2279 01:49:48,415 --> 01:49:49,249 Settle what? 2280 01:49:50,750 --> 01:49:53,336 The Jamestown colony of Virginia. 2281 01:49:55,046 --> 01:49:57,257 You see King George is giving us the land, so.. 2282 01:50:00,677 --> 01:50:02,554 The game, Rachel. The game. 2283 01:50:02,762 --> 01:50:03,930 You owe us money for the game. 2284 01:50:04,097 --> 01:50:05,181 Oh. Right. 2285 01:50:05,307 --> 01:50:07,142 You know, what, you guys, it's their first time. 2286 01:50:07,183 --> 01:50:09,060 Why don't we just forget about the money. 2287 01:50:09,185 --> 01:50:10,687 Hell, no, we'll pay! 2288 01:50:11,605 --> 01:50:14,107 Monica, I had another answer all ready. 2289 01:50:16,484 --> 01:50:18,903 And you know what? We want a rematch. 2290 01:50:19,321 --> 01:50:20,405 Well, that's fine with me. 2291 01:50:20,947 --> 01:50:22,657 Could use the money. 2292 01:50:23,908 --> 01:50:25,785 So basically, you get your ya-yas 2293 01:50:25,869 --> 01:50:28,163 by taking money from all of your friends. 2294 01:50:28,913 --> 01:50:29,414 Yeah. 2295 01:50:29,748 --> 01:50:32,125 Yes, and I get my ya-yas from IKEA. 2296 01:50:34,377 --> 01:50:35,795 You have to put them together yourself 2297 01:50:35,795 --> 01:50:37,464 but they cost a little less. 2298 01:50:39,090 --> 01:50:40,467 Look, Rach, this is poker. 2299 01:50:40,717 --> 01:50:42,218 I play to win, alright? 2300 01:50:42,302 --> 01:50:44,638 In order for me to win, other people have to lose. 2301 01:50:44,929 --> 01:50:46,306 So, if you're gonna play poker with me 2302 01:50:46,306 --> 01:50:48,350 don't expect me to be a nice guy. 2303 01:50:48,600 --> 01:50:50,560 Okay, 'cause once those cards are dealt.. 2304 01:51:00,654 --> 01:51:01,696 Yeah? 2305 01:51:05,659 --> 01:51:07,285 I'm not a nice guy. 2306 01:51:10,747 --> 01:51:13,500 Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? 2307 01:51:14,042 --> 01:51:15,251 Your whole face is getting red. 2308 01:51:15,335 --> 01:51:18,421 The little vein's popping outta your temple 2309 01:51:19,547 --> 01:51:21,841 Plus, that shirt doesn't really match those pants. 2310 01:51:26,763 --> 01:51:27,931 First of all, I'm not losing, I- 2311 01:51:28,348 --> 01:51:29,599 [phone ringing] - Oh, you're definitely losing.. - Let's not talk about losing-- 2312 01:51:30,100 --> 01:51:31,434 Hello. Rachel Green. 2313 01:51:31,434 --> 01:51:32,769 [imitating] Me-me-me. 2314 01:51:34,104 --> 01:51:36,523 Excuse me. It's about the job.. 2315 01:51:37,565 --> 01:51:39,442 Barbara, hi. How are you? 2316 01:51:42,237 --> 01:51:42,779 Uh-huh. 2317 01:51:44,698 --> 01:51:45,782 No, I understand. 2318 01:51:47,033 --> 01:51:49,869 Yeah, oh, well, come on, no, I'm fine. 2319 01:51:50,370 --> 01:51:51,287 Don't be silly. 2320 01:51:52,122 --> 01:51:56,042 Yeah, but, you know, if anything else opens up.. 2321 01:51:56,209 --> 01:51:57,585 please- hello? 2322 01:51:59,546 --> 01:52:00,088 Hello? 2323 01:52:01,881 --> 01:52:03,216 [scoffs] 2324 01:52:09,723 --> 01:52:10,932 Hmm. 2325 01:52:16,563 --> 01:52:17,772 Sorry, Rach. 2326 01:52:17,939 --> 01:52:19,899 Yeah, you know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff. 2327 01:52:20,233 --> 01:52:22,402 Yeah. Okay. 2328 01:52:23,987 --> 01:52:24,821 Where were we? 2329 01:52:25,405 --> 01:52:27,490 Oh. Okay. Five-card draw. 2330 01:52:28,074 --> 01:52:30,076 Uh...jacks or better. 2331 01:52:30,827 --> 01:52:32,412 Nothing wild. Everybody ante. 2332 01:52:33,246 --> 01:52:35,290 Look, Rach, we don't have to do this. 2333 01:52:36,166 --> 01:52:37,083 Yes, we do. 2334 01:52:40,253 --> 01:52:42,255 - Alright, check. - Check. 2335 01:52:42,797 --> 01:52:44,257 I'm in for 50 cents. 2336 01:52:44,841 --> 01:52:46,760 - Call. - I'm in. 2337 01:52:48,178 --> 01:52:50,263 I see your 50 cents.. 2338 01:52:51,181 --> 01:52:54,601 ...and I raise you...$5. 2339 01:52:55,435 --> 01:52:57,687 I thought it was a 50-cent limit. 2340 01:52:57,812 --> 01:52:59,481 Well, I just lost a job and I'd like to raise 2341 01:52:59,481 --> 01:53:00,940 the bet five bucks. 2342 01:53:01,107 --> 01:53:03,777 Does anybody have a problem with that? 2343 01:53:04,277 --> 01:53:06,946 [indistinct chatter] 2344 01:53:10,325 --> 01:53:11,326 Loser? 2345 01:53:19,834 --> 01:53:20,794 No, I fold. 2346 01:53:21,294 --> 01:53:23,630 What do you mean you fo? Hey, come on, what is this? 2347 01:53:23,630 --> 01:53:28,301 I thought that "once the cards are dealt, I'm not a nice guy" 2348 01:53:28,510 --> 01:53:30,512 I mean what, were you just full of it? 2349 01:53:44,484 --> 01:53:44,984 I'm in. 2350 01:53:46,319 --> 01:53:47,237 How many you want? 2351 01:53:47,570 --> 01:53:48,071 One. 2352 01:53:49,989 --> 01:53:51,324 Dealer takes two. 2353 01:53:52,075 --> 01:53:55,161 - 'What do you bet?' - I bet $2. 2354 01:53:56,704 --> 01:53:59,332 Okay, see your two.. 2355 01:53:59,833 --> 01:54:02,377 ...and I raise you.. 2356 01:54:03,837 --> 01:54:04,587 ...twenty. 2357 01:54:04,587 --> 01:54:05,338 Wha.. 2358 01:54:10,510 --> 01:54:12,846 I'll see your 20.. 2359 01:54:13,346 --> 01:54:15,849 ...raise you 25. 2360 01:54:21,020 --> 01:54:22,522 See your 25.. 2361 01:54:23,398 --> 01:54:25,191 ...and, uh, Monica, get my purse. 2362 01:54:30,697 --> 01:54:32,407 Rachel, there's nothing in it. 2363 01:54:34,200 --> 01:54:36,202 Okay, then get me your purse. 2364 01:54:40,415 --> 01:54:43,418 Okay...here you go. Good luck. 2365 01:54:43,793 --> 01:54:44,419 Thank you. 2366 01:54:45,253 --> 01:54:49,132 I saw your 25, and I raise you.. 2367 01:54:49,132 --> 01:54:49,799 ...seven. 2368 01:54:51,926 --> 01:54:53,303 -teen. 2369 01:55:01,436 --> 01:55:02,812 Joey, I'm a little shy. 2370 01:55:04,272 --> 01:55:07,609 That's okay, Ross. You can ask me. 2371 01:55:13,489 --> 01:55:15,617 - What do you need? What do you need? - Fifteen. 2372 01:55:15,742 --> 01:55:17,410 - Here's ten. - Here, I got five. I got five. 2373 01:55:17,785 --> 01:55:20,246 - Thank you. - Good luck. 2374 01:55:20,914 --> 01:55:23,666 Okay, I am calling your seventen 2375 01:55:24,125 --> 01:55:26,002 What do you got? 2376 01:55:26,461 --> 01:55:29,005 [dramatic music] 2377 01:55:36,262 --> 01:55:37,305 Full house. 2378 01:55:46,314 --> 01:55:46,940 You got me. 2379 01:55:47,357 --> 01:55:49,692 - Oh! - Oh! 2380 01:55:50,318 --> 01:55:51,611 ♪ Da da da da da-da 2381 01:55:52,195 --> 01:55:53,780 ♪ Da da da da da-da 2382 01:55:54,030 --> 01:55:55,281 Oh.. 2383 01:55:55,531 --> 01:55:57,158 Oh! 2384 01:55:59,118 --> 01:56:00,703 That's alright, you know, that's a tough hand to beat. 2385 01:56:00,787 --> 01:56:02,288 I thought we had them! 2386 01:56:02,288 --> 01:56:03,831 When you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards. 2387 01:56:04,374 --> 01:56:04,832 But, uh... 2388 01:56:06,000 --> 01:56:07,502 Look how happy she is. 2389 01:56:14,884 --> 01:56:15,969 How could you lose him? 2390 01:56:16,052 --> 01:56:17,095 I don't know, I don't know. 2391 01:56:17,220 --> 01:56:18,262 We were watching TV 2392 01:56:18,262 --> 01:56:19,889 and then he pooped in Monica's shoe.. 2393 01:56:20,098 --> 01:56:22,725 Wait. He pooped in my shoe? 2394 01:56:23,434 --> 01:56:25,061 - Which one? - I don't know. 2395 01:56:25,561 --> 01:56:28,272 - The left one. - Which ones? 2396 01:56:28,439 --> 01:56:30,441 Oh, oh, those little clunky Amish things 2397 01:56:30,441 --> 01:56:31,818 you think go with everything. 2398 01:56:33,903 --> 01:56:35,238 -Hey. - Hi. 2399 01:56:35,571 --> 01:56:36,406 Whoa. Oh. 2400 01:56:36,656 --> 01:56:38,783 Why is the air in here so negative? 2401 01:56:40,410 --> 01:56:43,496 - Rachel lost Marcel. - Oh, no! How? 2402 01:56:43,621 --> 01:56:46,124 - He-he pooped in my shoe. - Which one? 2403 01:56:46,124 --> 01:56:48,251 Those cute little black ones I wear all the tim.e 2404 01:56:48,626 --> 01:56:50,003 No. Which one? 2405 01:56:51,087 --> 01:56:52,171 The right or left? 2406 01:56:53,756 --> 01:56:55,174 'Cause the left one is lucky. 2407 01:56:55,967 --> 01:56:57,760 Come on, you guys, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? 2408 01:56:57,802 --> 01:56:59,637 Alright, alright, alright... You're a monkey. 2409 01:57:00,013 --> 01:57:01,597 You're loose in the city. 2410 01:57:02,015 --> 01:57:02,974 Where do you go? 2411 01:57:04,267 --> 01:57:06,769 Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do 2412 01:57:06,769 --> 01:57:08,312 some of the touristy things. 2413 01:57:11,149 --> 01:57:14,819 I'll go to Cats. You go to the Russian Tea Room. 2414 01:57:15,528 --> 01:57:18,322 Oh, my God! Come on, you guys! 2415 01:57:18,364 --> 01:57:20,783 He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me! 2416 01:57:20,867 --> 01:57:22,201 Okay, we'll start with the building. 2417 01:57:22,368 --> 01:57:23,786 You guys take the first and second floor. 2418 01:57:23,786 --> 01:57:25,121 Phoebe and I will take third and fourth. 2419 01:57:25,496 --> 01:57:27,123 W-w-what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? 2420 01:57:27,290 --> 01:57:30,126 Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone.. 2421 01:57:30,126 --> 01:57:32,503 Spray Lysol in my shoe and wait for Ross to kill you. 2422 01:57:33,796 --> 01:57:35,673 Does anybody wanna trade? Oh.. 2423 01:57:36,215 --> 01:57:38,801 [instrumental music] 2424 01:57:39,135 --> 01:57:39,677 Come on. 2425 01:57:39,844 --> 01:57:40,970 [knocks on door] 2426 01:57:43,639 --> 01:57:44,474 What do you want? 2427 01:57:45,141 --> 01:57:46,726 Mr. Heckles, our-our-our friend lost a monkey. 2428 01:57:46,851 --> 01:57:47,810 Have you seen it? 2429 01:57:48,644 --> 01:57:50,146 I left a Belgian waffle out here. 2430 01:57:50,146 --> 01:57:52,315 - Did you take it? - No! 2431 01:57:52,648 --> 01:57:54,984 Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall? 2432 01:57:55,401 --> 01:57:56,652 I wasn't ready for it. 2433 01:57:57,236 --> 01:57:57,820 The monkey.. 2434 01:57:57,862 --> 01:57:59,655 Have you seen a monkey? 2435 01:58:00,239 --> 01:58:02,325 Saw Regis Philbin once. 2436 01:58:03,034 --> 01:58:04,577 Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. 2437 01:58:06,037 --> 01:58:07,830 You owe me a waffle. 2438 01:58:08,831 --> 01:58:11,417 Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchin monkey 2439 01:58:11,417 --> 01:58:12,752 with a white face 2440 01:58:13,002 --> 01:58:17,340 with-with Russian dressing and pickles on the side. 2441 01:58:17,715 --> 01:58:19,550 Okay. Thanks. 2442 01:58:20,510 --> 01:58:21,344 - Hi. - Hey. 2443 01:58:21,511 --> 01:58:22,762 How did, uh, how did it go today? 2444 01:58:22,845 --> 01:58:24,097 - Oh, great! - Yeah? 2445 01:58:24,097 --> 01:58:25,765 It went great. Really great. 2446 01:58:25,765 --> 01:58:27,767 - Hey, is that wine? - Yeah, yeah. 2447 01:58:27,850 --> 01:58:29,894 - Oh. - You, uh, you want some? 2448 01:58:29,894 --> 01:58:31,229 Oh, I would love some. 2449 01:58:32,021 --> 01:58:33,189 But you know what? You know what? 2450 01:58:33,189 --> 01:58:34,690 Let's not drink it here. 2451 01:58:34,690 --> 01:58:36,109 I'm feeling kind of crazy. 2452 01:58:36,109 --> 01:58:37,401 You wanna go to Newark? 2453 01:58:40,530 --> 01:58:43,407 Uh, okay. Yeah, uh, we could do that. 2454 01:58:43,407 --> 01:58:45,409 But before we head off to the murder capital 2455 01:58:45,409 --> 01:58:46,702 of the Northeast.. 2456 01:58:47,870 --> 01:58:50,957 ...I was, uh.. Kind of wanted to to run something by you. 2457 01:58:51,374 --> 01:58:53,751 You know how we were, uh, you know, talking before 2458 01:58:53,751 --> 01:58:57,380 about, uh, relationships and stuff, well.. 2459 01:58:57,380 --> 01:58:59,048 Oh, God, Ross, I cannot do this. 2460 01:58:59,215 --> 01:59:00,383 Okay, quick and painful. 2461 01:59:10,143 --> 01:59:12,562 Oh, God. Okay, alright. 2462 01:59:12,562 --> 01:59:13,980 Alright, okay. 2463 01:59:14,730 --> 01:59:16,607 Ross, please don't hate me. 2464 01:59:17,150 --> 01:59:18,276 Oh, why? What? What? 2465 01:59:18,276 --> 01:59:19,235 [chuckles] 2466 01:59:20,069 --> 01:59:22,405 Uh, you know Marcel? 2467 01:59:23,739 --> 01:59:24,740 Yeah? 2468 01:59:24,740 --> 01:59:27,743 Well, ahem, I, I kind of.. 2469 01:59:28,286 --> 01:59:30,079 ...I kind of lost him. 2470 01:59:30,246 --> 01:59:31,664 [indistinct] 2471 01:59:31,998 --> 01:59:34,667 [car horn honking] 2472 01:59:41,924 --> 01:59:43,801 - 'Marcel?' - 'Marcel?' 2473 01:59:44,093 --> 01:59:45,344 Marcel? 2474 01:59:46,262 --> 01:59:47,513 (both) Marcel? 2475 01:59:48,139 --> 01:59:49,223 - Oh, my God! - What? 2476 01:59:49,390 --> 01:59:51,309 Something just brushed up against my right leg. 2477 01:59:51,392 --> 01:59:52,643 - What is it? - Oh. 2478 01:59:53,352 --> 01:59:55,521 Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg. 2479 01:59:56,731 --> 01:59:57,440 [screeching] 2480 01:59:58,232 --> 02:00:00,109 - 'Look, Phoebe!' - Oh, yeah. Oh, Marcel. 2481 02:00:00,276 --> 02:00:02,403 Come here. Oh, come here, Marcel. 2482 02:00:02,403 --> 02:00:03,863 Step aside, ladies. 2483 02:00:05,114 --> 02:00:06,240 Oh, what are you gonna do? 2484 02:00:06,407 --> 02:00:08,075 Just a small tranquilizer. 2485 02:00:08,534 --> 02:00:11,579 [dramatic music] 2486 02:00:23,883 --> 02:00:25,259 (Monica) 'Run, Marcel! Run!' 2487 02:00:25,426 --> 02:00:26,761 - Run, Marcel! - Damn! 2488 02:00:27,720 --> 02:00:30,681 - Are you okay? - Uh, yeah, I think so. 2489 02:00:30,806 --> 02:00:31,807 I just.. 2490 02:00:31,891 --> 02:00:33,226 Oh. 2491 02:00:34,894 --> 02:00:35,895 Huh.. 2492 02:00:36,604 --> 02:00:39,232 - Whoa. -Oh. 2493 02:00:39,607 --> 02:00:40,650 Oh, gosh. 2494 02:00:45,863 --> 02:00:47,156 [screeching] 2495 02:00:49,116 --> 02:00:50,618 - 'Marcel?' - 'Marcel?' 2496 02:00:50,660 --> 02:00:52,912 Marcel? This is ridiculous! 2497 02:00:52,912 --> 02:00:53,996 We've been all over the neighborhood. 2498 02:00:54,121 --> 02:00:55,873 He's gone. He's-he's just gone! 2499 02:00:55,873 --> 02:00:57,083 - Ross, you don't know that. - Oh, come on. 2500 02:00:57,917 --> 02:01:00,544 It's cold. It's dark. He doesn't know the village! 2501 02:01:00,795 --> 02:01:00,962 Oh.. 2502 02:01:01,837 --> 02:01:02,964 And now I have a broken foot. Oh, my. 2503 02:01:03,798 --> 02:01:06,425 I have no monkey and a broken foot. 2504 02:01:06,968 --> 02:01:09,095 - Thank you very much. - Ross, you know? 2505 02:01:09,095 --> 02:01:11,305 I've said I'm sorry like a million times. 2506 02:01:11,347 --> 02:01:13,099 What do you want me to ? Huh? What do you wanna.. 2507 02:01:13,099 --> 02:01:14,976 You want to break my fo? Is that it? Okay, here. 2508 02:01:14,976 --> 02:01:15,810 I'm gonna break my foot. Right now, there. 2509 02:01:16,310 --> 02:01:18,646 Ow! Oh! Oh, God! 2510 02:01:18,688 --> 02:01:21,190 Oh, my God. There, are you happy now? 2511 02:01:21,232 --> 02:01:23,359 Yeah, yeah, you know, now that you kicked the sign 2512 02:01:23,359 --> 02:01:27,613 hey! What? I don't miss Marcel anymore. 2513 02:01:30,074 --> 02:01:32,326 You know, it is not like I did this on purpose. 2514 02:01:32,326 --> 02:01:34,996 No, no, no, this is just vintage Rachel. 2515 02:01:35,121 --> 02:01:38,040 I mean, things just sort of happen around you. 2516 02:01:38,040 --> 02:01:40,167 I mean, you're off in Rachel Land 2517 02:01:40,167 --> 02:01:41,502 doing your Rachel thing 2518 02:01:41,502 --> 02:01:44,338 totally oblivious to people's monkeys 2519 02:01:44,338 --> 02:01:46,048 or to people's feelings and.. 2520 02:01:46,048 --> 02:01:47,717 - Ross? - I don't even wanna hear it. 2521 02:01:47,883 --> 02:01:49,093 - No, you're always-- - Ross.. 2522 02:01:49,093 --> 02:01:50,511 - Oh, forget it, okay? - Ross! 2523 02:01:50,511 --> 02:01:52,263 What? What? What? 2524 02:01:55,349 --> 02:01:57,435 - Hey! - Hey! Banana man! Wait.. 2525 02:01:57,977 --> 02:02:01,105 [instrumental music] 2526 02:02:01,814 --> 02:02:03,274 [knocking on door] 2527 02:02:03,858 --> 02:02:04,942 Oh, this is so intense. 2528 02:02:05,526 --> 02:02:07,528 One side of my butt is totally asleep 2529 02:02:07,528 --> 02:02:10,114 and the other side has no idea. 2530 02:02:14,785 --> 02:02:16,537 Hi. Did you order some bananas? 2531 02:02:17,163 --> 02:02:20,041 - What about it? - Give me my monkey back! 2532 02:02:20,041 --> 02:02:21,500 I don't have a monkey. 2533 02:02:21,500 --> 02:02:23,210 Then what's with all the bananas? 2534 02:02:23,544 --> 02:02:24,462 Potassium. 2535 02:02:25,588 --> 02:02:27,673 [Marcel chattering] 2536 02:02:28,132 --> 02:02:29,050 Marcel? Marcel? 2537 02:02:29,383 --> 02:02:30,968 Okay, where is he? Where is he? 2538 02:02:31,427 --> 02:02:33,179 Marcel? Marcel? 2539 02:02:33,554 --> 02:02:34,972 [all gasp] 2540 02:02:35,306 --> 02:02:36,807 Marcel! 2541 02:02:38,059 --> 02:02:40,561 - What have you done to him? - That's my monkey. 2542 02:02:40,728 --> 02:02:42,396 That's Patty. Patty the monkey. 2543 02:02:44,106 --> 02:02:45,316 Are you insane? 2544 02:02:45,858 --> 02:02:47,526 Come here, Marcel, come on. 2545 02:02:47,735 --> 02:02:48,819 Come here, Patty. 2546 02:02:49,028 --> 02:02:50,905 Come here, Marcel. 2547 02:02:51,405 --> 02:02:52,239 Come here, Patty. 2548 02:02:52,531 --> 02:02:54,158 (Luisa) Here, monkey! Here, monkey! 2549 02:02:54,367 --> 02:02:56,035 'Here, monkey!' 2550 02:02:56,077 --> 02:02:56,452 Gotcha! 2551 02:02:57,995 --> 02:03:01,207 - Okay, give me my monkey back! - That's my monkey. 2552 02:03:01,207 --> 02:03:03,167 You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.. 2553 02:03:03,250 --> 02:03:05,878 That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine. 2554 02:03:05,878 --> 02:03:07,380 You can send it back whenever. 2555 02:03:08,214 --> 02:03:10,049 - Alright, I want my monkey. - No! 2556 02:03:10,174 --> 02:03:13,135 - Oh, come on, Louisa. - Sorry, prom queen. 2557 02:03:13,427 --> 02:03:14,762 You had to be a bitch in high school. 2558 02:03:14,804 --> 02:03:16,222 You couldn't have been fat? 2559 02:03:19,225 --> 02:03:20,351 Alright, look, okay 2560 02:03:20,393 --> 02:03:21,769 in high school, I was the prom queen 2561 02:03:21,894 --> 02:03:23,687 and I was the homecoming queen and the class president 2562 02:03:23,938 --> 02:03:27,066 and you...were also there. 2563 02:03:27,775 --> 02:03:29,110 Look, if you take this monkey 2564 02:03:29,110 --> 02:03:30,569 I will lose one of the most 2565 02:03:30,569 --> 02:03:31,904 important people in my life. 2566 02:03:32,405 --> 02:03:33,697 You can hate me if you want 2567 02:03:33,906 --> 02:03:35,950 but please do not punish him. 2568 02:03:36,784 --> 02:03:38,452 Come on, Louisa, you have a chance 2569 02:03:38,452 --> 02:03:40,162 to be the bigger person here. 2570 02:03:40,329 --> 02:03:40,955 Take it! 2571 02:03:42,164 --> 02:03:43,332 [inhales deeply] 2572 02:03:44,125 --> 02:03:45,334 [exhales heavily] 2573 02:03:45,376 --> 02:03:46,210 No. 2574 02:03:47,002 --> 02:03:47,461 Alright. 2575 02:03:48,504 --> 02:03:50,297 Well, then how about I call your supervisor 2576 02:03:50,297 --> 02:03:52,466 and I tell her that you shot my friend 2577 02:03:52,466 --> 02:03:53,300 in the ass with a dart? 2578 02:04:01,934 --> 02:04:03,686 I am telling you years from now 2579 02:04:03,727 --> 02:04:05,396 school children will study it 2580 02:04:05,604 --> 02:04:08,190 as one of the greatest first dates of all time. 2581 02:04:09,275 --> 02:04:12,027 It was unbelievable. We could totally be ourselves. 2582 02:04:12,027 --> 02:04:13,612 We didn't have to play any games. 2583 02:04:13,737 --> 02:04:15,364 - So have you called her yet? - Let her know I like her? 2584 02:04:15,614 --> 02:04:16,365 What are you insane? 2585 02:04:17,616 --> 02:04:18,951 Oh, guys. 2586 02:04:19,702 --> 02:04:20,619 It's the next day. 2587 02:04:20,744 --> 02:04:22,037 How needy do I wanna seem? 2588 02:04:22,538 --> 02:04:23,789 I'm right, right? 2589 02:04:23,998 --> 02:04:25,541 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, let her dangle. 2590 02:04:25,708 --> 02:04:25,916 Oh. 2591 02:04:27,334 --> 02:04:29,712 I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me 2592 02:04:29,712 --> 02:04:30,880 to find one of you people. 2593 02:04:31,881 --> 02:04:34,133 God, come on, just do it. 2594 02:04:34,800 --> 02:04:37,553 Call her. Stop being so testosterone-y 2595 02:04:39,763 --> 02:04:42,558 Which, by the way is the real San Francisco treat 2596 02:04:48,230 --> 02:04:50,107 - I got her machine. - Her answering machine? 2597 02:04:50,107 --> 02:04:52,985 No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up. 2598 02:04:56,113 --> 02:04:58,491 So, um, why didn't you say anything? 2599 02:04:58,491 --> 02:05:01,785 Oh, no, no, no, last time I left a spontaneous message 2600 02:05:01,869 --> 02:05:04,497 I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-O." 2601 02:05:06,665 --> 02:05:08,250 Look, look, look, it's Rachel and Barry. 2602 02:05:08,250 --> 02:05:09,877 No, no, no, don't, don't everybody look at once. 2603 02:05:10,419 --> 02:05:11,587 Okay, okay, what's going on? 2604 02:05:12,254 --> 02:05:13,839 Okay, they're just talking. 2605 02:05:13,839 --> 02:05:15,424 Yeah, well, does he look upset? 2606 02:05:15,424 --> 02:05:17,593 Does he look like, he was just told to shove anything? 2607 02:05:19,845 --> 02:05:22,223 No. No, actually, he's smiling, and.. 2608 02:05:22,932 --> 02:05:24,725 Oh, my God! Don't do that! 2609 02:05:24,892 --> 02:05:25,935 What? What? What? 2610 02:05:26,101 --> 02:05:27,770 That man across the street 2611 02:05:27,770 --> 02:05:28,979 just kicked that pigeon. 2612 02:05:31,315 --> 02:05:31,607 Oh. 2613 02:05:32,274 --> 02:05:34,568 And basically that's how a bill 2614 02:05:34,610 --> 02:05:36,278 becomes a law. 2615 02:05:36,445 --> 02:05:37,613 - Oh. - Right. 2616 02:05:40,282 --> 02:05:42,284 - Hey, Rach. - Hi, Rach. 2617 02:05:42,701 --> 02:05:43,410 How'd it go? 2618 02:05:44,370 --> 02:05:47,289 You know, it was uh, actually really great. 2619 02:05:48,415 --> 02:05:49,875 Took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room. 2620 02:05:50,167 --> 02:05:52,044 And I had that chicken you know, where you poke it 2621 02:05:52,044 --> 02:05:53,504 and all the butter squirts out. 2622 02:05:54,129 --> 02:05:55,047 Not a good day for bird. 2623 02:05:55,965 --> 02:05:58,050 Then we took a walk down to Bendel's. 2624 02:05:58,092 --> 02:05:59,134 And I told him not to 2625 02:05:59,468 --> 02:06:02,638 but he got me a little bottle of Chanel.█ 2626 02:06:03,055 --> 02:06:03,764 That's nice. 2627 02:06:04,640 --> 02:06:07,518 Was that before or after you told him to stop calling 2628 02:06:07,518 --> 02:06:08,644 stop sending you flowers 2629 02:06:08,644 --> 02:06:10,688 and to generally leave you alone, hmm? 2630 02:06:11,689 --> 02:06:15,067 Right. Well, we never actually got to that. 2631 02:06:15,526 --> 02:06:17,570 Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, you know? 2632 02:06:17,861 --> 02:06:21,657 It was, it was comfortable, and it was familiar. 2633 02:06:22,741 --> 02:06:26,120 - It was just nice. - That's-that's nice twice. 2634 02:06:27,913 --> 02:06:29,373 Rachel, wh-what's going on? 2635 02:06:29,498 --> 02:06:30,833 I mean, isn't this the same Barry 2636 02:06:30,874 --> 02:06:31,500 who you left at the alter? 2637 02:06:32,126 --> 02:06:34,086 Duh, where've you been? 2638 02:06:35,629 --> 02:06:37,256 Yeah, but it was different with him today 2639 02:06:37,339 --> 02:06:39,008 I mean, and he wasn't like 2640 02:06:39,008 --> 02:06:40,426 Orthodontist guy, you know? 2641 02:06:40,968 --> 02:06:42,511 I mean, we had fun. 2642 02:06:43,345 --> 02:06:45,472 Is there anything wrong with that? 2643 02:06:45,514 --> 02:06:46,515 Yes! 2644 02:06:48,058 --> 02:06:50,019 - Why? - I have my reasons. 2645 02:06:53,188 --> 02:06:55,274 Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged 2646 02:06:55,274 --> 02:06:56,942 to another woman who just happens to be 2647 02:06:56,942 --> 02:06:57,735 your ex-best friend? 2648 02:06:58,193 --> 02:07:00,988 Alright, alright, alright, I know it's stupid. 2649 02:07:01,530 --> 02:07:04,992 I'll go see him this afternoon and I'll just put an end to it 2650 02:07:05,326 --> 02:07:05,868 Wow! 2651 02:07:08,412 --> 02:07:09,038 Wow. 2652 02:07:10,414 --> 02:07:11,206 Yeah. 2653 02:07:12,082 --> 02:07:14,877 I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that. 2654 02:07:15,878 --> 02:07:17,588 No, it wasn't. 2655 02:07:21,550 --> 02:07:23,761 It was so nice having this little sink here. 2656 02:07:30,267 --> 02:07:31,977 - Can I use your phone? - Yeah. 2657 02:07:32,227 --> 02:07:34,980 Uh, but for future reference uh, that thing in your hand 2658 02:07:34,980 --> 02:07:36,273 can also be used as a phone. 2659 02:07:39,443 --> 02:07:40,819 [ringing] 2660 02:07:41,320 --> 02:07:42,571 Yes, it's working. 2661 02:07:45,074 --> 02:07:46,325 Why isn't she calling me back? 2662 02:07:46,742 --> 02:07:48,118 Maybe she never got your message. 2663 02:07:48,661 --> 02:07:49,244 You know, if you want 2664 02:07:49,662 --> 02:07:50,579 you can call her machine 2665 02:07:51,163 --> 02:07:52,790 and if she has a lot of beeps that means 2666 02:07:52,790 --> 02:07:54,333 she probably didn't get her messages yet. 2667 02:07:55,334 --> 02:07:56,669 You don't think that makes me seem a little.. 2668 02:07:56,669 --> 02:07:58,837 Desperate, needy, pathetic? 2669 02:07:59,797 --> 02:08:01,674 Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad. 2670 02:08:05,511 --> 02:08:07,221 - How many beeps? - She answered. 2671 02:08:09,848 --> 02:08:11,767 You see, this is where you'd use that 2672 02:08:11,767 --> 02:08:13,602 "Hello" word we talked . 2673 02:08:14,186 --> 02:08:15,270 I'm not gonna talk to her. 2674 02:08:15,270 --> 02:08:16,522 She obviously got my message 2675 02:08:16,522 --> 02:08:17,898 and is choosing not to call me. 2676 02:08:18,190 --> 02:08:20,317 Now, I'm needy and snubbed. 2677 02:08:21,777 --> 02:08:23,529 God, I miss just being needy. 2678 02:08:25,155 --> 02:08:26,156 (all) 'Hey.' 2679 02:08:26,657 --> 02:08:27,991 How'd he take it? 2680 02:08:28,534 --> 02:08:31,120 Pretty well, actually. 2681 02:08:32,329 --> 02:08:33,706 - Uh, Rach? - What? 2682 02:08:33,706 --> 02:08:36,208 How come you have dental floss in your hair? 2683 02:08:38,043 --> 02:08:40,003 - Oh, do I? - Uh-huh. 2684 02:08:42,506 --> 02:08:44,842 We ended up having sex in his chair. 2685 02:08:45,509 --> 02:08:47,511 You had sex in his chair? 2686 02:08:51,890 --> 02:08:54,893 I said that a little too loudly, didn't I? 2687 02:08:55,894 --> 02:08:57,229 You, you had what? 2688 02:08:59,022 --> 02:09:01,024 Sex in his chair. 2689 02:09:03,527 --> 02:09:06,155 What, uh, what were you thinking? 2690 02:09:06,572 --> 02:09:07,906 I don't know. 2691 02:09:07,906 --> 02:09:09,616 I mean, we still care about each other. 2692 02:09:10,242 --> 02:09:12,661 There's a history there. It's like you and Carol. 2693 02:09:13,036 --> 02:09:14,997 No. No, no. 2694 02:09:15,706 --> 02:09:17,541 It's nothing like me and Carol. 2695 02:09:17,916 --> 02:09:20,878 Please, if she said to , "Ross, I want you 2696 02:09:20,878 --> 02:09:24,757 on this couch. Right here, right now," what would you say? 2697 02:09:26,675 --> 02:09:28,552 If it helps, I could slide over. 2698 02:09:31,263 --> 02:09:34,349 It's, it's-it's uh, a totally different situation.. 2699 02:09:34,391 --> 02:09:35,934 It's-it's apples and oranges.. 2700 02:09:35,934 --> 02:09:37,770 It's-it's orthodontists and lesb- 2701 02:09:37,770 --> 02:09:38,896 I got to go. 2702 02:09:39,897 --> 02:09:42,357 - Wh-where are you going? - I just have to go! 2703 02:09:42,357 --> 02:09:44,610 Alright. Do I need a reason, huh? 2704 02:09:44,610 --> 02:09:46,695 I mean, I have things to do with my life. 2705 02:09:46,695 --> 02:09:48,864 I have a jam-packed schedule 2706 02:09:48,864 --> 02:09:52,409 and I am late for keeping up with it, okay? 2707 02:09:54,411 --> 02:09:55,412 [phone ringing] 2708 02:09:55,788 --> 02:09:57,790 Hello? Hello? 2709 02:10:05,923 --> 02:10:07,424 [imitating phone ringing] 2710 02:10:10,928 --> 02:10:14,097 Hell is filled with people like you. 2711 02:10:16,934 --> 02:10:18,435 He's back. The peeper's back. 2712 02:10:19,728 --> 02:10:21,730 - Get down! - Get down? 2713 02:10:22,105 --> 02:10:22,815 And boogie. 2714 02:10:25,275 --> 02:10:26,276 Thanks, but I got to go to work 2715 02:10:26,276 --> 02:10:28,445 and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy. 2716 02:10:28,987 --> 02:10:30,447 Relax. You know, She may not even know. 2717 02:10:30,781 --> 02:10:32,950 Please, I haven't heard from her in seven months 2718 02:10:32,950 --> 02:10:34,284 and now she calls me 2719 02:10:34,451 --> 02:10:35,452 I mean, what else is it about? 2720 02:10:36,119 --> 02:10:38,288 Oh. She was my best friend you guys. 2721 02:10:38,622 --> 02:10:39,957 We went to camp together. 2722 02:10:40,791 --> 02:10:43,126 - She taught me how to kiss. - Yeah? 2723 02:10:45,462 --> 02:10:48,423 Now, you know, I'm like the other woman. 2724 02:10:48,674 --> 02:10:50,092 Oh, I feel so.. 2725 02:10:50,133 --> 02:10:51,593 Naughty. 2726 02:10:53,637 --> 02:10:54,805 Alright, I'll see you guys later. 2727 02:10:54,847 --> 02:10:55,931 Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. 2728 02:10:56,306 --> 02:10:57,766 Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss 2729 02:10:57,933 --> 02:10:59,309 you were at camp and were you wearing 2730 02:10:59,351 --> 02:11:00,769 any kind of little uniform or.. 2731 02:11:03,939 --> 02:11:04,857 That's fine, yeah. 2732 02:11:06,942 --> 02:11:08,443 Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 2733 02:11:08,652 --> 02:11:09,820 Will you watch my phone? 2734 02:11:09,820 --> 02:11:10,946 Why don't you just take it with you? 2735 02:11:11,154 --> 02:11:13,198 Hey, we haven't been on a second date. 2736 02:11:13,198 --> 02:11:14,533 She needs to hear me pee? 2737 02:11:15,200 --> 02:11:16,535 Why don't you just call her? 2738 02:11:16,702 --> 02:11:18,996 I can't call her. I left a message. 2739 02:11:18,996 --> 02:11:20,873 - I have some pride. - Do you? 2740 02:11:20,873 --> 02:11:21,498 No. 2741 02:11:28,797 --> 02:11:29,631 Danielle? Hi. 2742 02:11:30,299 --> 02:11:32,384 Hi, it's uh, it's Chandler. 2743 02:11:32,801 --> 02:11:33,635 I'm fine. 2744 02:11:34,052 --> 02:11:34,678 [clears throat] 2745 02:11:35,012 --> 02:11:36,513 Uh, listen. 2746 02:11:36,638 --> 02:11:38,223 I don't know if you tried to call me 2747 02:11:38,223 --> 02:11:40,601 because, uh..idiot that I am 2748 02:11:40,642 --> 02:11:42,895 I accidentally shut off my phone. 2749 02:11:45,063 --> 02:11:47,524 Oh, okay-okay. That's, that's-that's fine 2750 02:11:47,524 --> 02:11:49,026 That's great. Okay. 2751 02:11:50,193 --> 02:11:52,529 She's on the other line. She's gonna call me back. 2752 02:11:53,697 --> 02:11:55,741 ♪ She's on the other line she's gonna call me back♪ 2753 02:11:55,741 --> 02:11:58,035 ♪ She's on the other line gonna call me back ♪ 2754 02:11:58,035 --> 02:12:00,704 - Don't you have to pee? - It's why I'm dancing. 2755 02:12:06,001 --> 02:12:07,002 - Hey. - Hey. 2756 02:12:07,210 --> 02:12:08,337 Hi. 2757 02:12:10,505 --> 02:12:13,050 Hi. Uh, yes. This is Monica Geller. 2758 02:12:13,050 --> 02:12:15,510 Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you 2759 02:12:15,510 --> 02:12:17,554 and I was wondering what they were. 2760 02:12:19,640 --> 02:12:20,432 What are you doing? 2761 02:12:21,350 --> 02:12:22,392 Alright. Great. 2762 02:12:22,851 --> 02:12:24,353 Great. Thanks a lot. 2763 02:12:25,145 --> 02:12:26,229 I'm going to tap class. 2764 02:12:27,022 --> 02:12:28,231 What-what, so that you can dance 2765 02:12:28,231 --> 02:12:30,150 with the woman that stole your credit card? 2766 02:12:30,233 --> 02:12:32,527 This woman's got my life. I should get to see who she is. 2767 02:12:32,694 --> 02:12:35,322 Go to the post office. I'm sure her picture's up! 2768 02:12:36,782 --> 02:12:39,326 Okay. Monica, you know ? You're kinda losing it here.. 2769 02:12:39,326 --> 02:12:42,329 I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing. 2770 02:12:42,579 --> 02:12:44,581 This is madness. It's madness, I tell you! 2771 02:12:44,581 --> 02:12:46,833 For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! 2772 02:12:50,379 --> 02:12:51,421 Thank you. 2773 02:12:52,714 --> 02:12:54,883 [instrumental music] 2774 02:12:59,554 --> 02:13:00,847 What do you think? 2775 02:13:01,390 --> 02:13:02,557 Lots of things. 2776 02:13:04,393 --> 02:13:05,560 Which one do you think she is? 2777 02:13:06,103 --> 02:13:08,105 - May I help you? - Oh, no. Thanks. 2778 02:13:08,230 --> 02:13:10,023 We're just here to observe. 2779 02:13:10,065 --> 02:13:11,775 You don't observe a dance class. 2780 02:13:11,775 --> 02:13:13,568 You dance a dance class. 2781 02:13:14,236 --> 02:13:16,238 Spare shoes are over there. 2782 02:13:18,740 --> 02:13:19,241 What does she mean? 2783 02:13:20,283 --> 02:13:23,537 I think she means "You dance...a dance class" 2784 02:13:24,121 --> 02:13:26,248 Come on, come on, come on. 2785 02:13:28,291 --> 02:13:30,460 Okay. You see anybody you think could be me? 2786 02:13:30,627 --> 02:13:34,131 People, last time there were some empty yogurt containers 2787 02:13:34,256 --> 02:13:35,757 lying around after class. 2788 02:13:35,757 --> 02:13:37,884 Let's not have that happen again. 2789 02:13:38,385 --> 02:13:39,553 She could be you. 2790 02:13:44,891 --> 02:13:46,393 Let's get started. 2791 02:13:46,935 --> 02:13:47,978 'Five, six' 2792 02:13:48,145 --> 02:13:50,063 'a-five, six, seven, eight' 2793 02:13:55,402 --> 02:13:57,279 Okay, I'm not getting this! 2794 02:13:57,904 --> 02:13:59,740 I'm totally getting it. 2795 02:14:04,453 --> 02:14:05,787 Do you ever just feel like sometimes 2796 02:14:05,787 --> 02:14:08,623 you are so unbelievably uncoordinated? 2797 02:14:16,298 --> 02:14:18,175 What? You just click when they click. 2798 02:14:20,010 --> 02:14:22,804 Alright, people. Now everyone grab a partner. 2799 02:14:23,305 --> 02:14:24,681 Oh. Um, alright. 2800 02:14:25,515 --> 02:14:28,518 And my dead mother said you are it. 2801 02:14:28,685 --> 02:14:30,812 - I'm with Rachel. - Great.. 2802 02:14:30,812 --> 02:14:32,814 It's gym class all over again. 2803 02:14:32,814 --> 02:14:33,607 - Oh. - Oh. 2804 02:14:34,691 --> 02:14:36,526 Well, that's alright, you can come up to the front 2805 02:14:36,651 --> 02:14:37,778 and dance with me. 2806 02:14:39,488 --> 02:14:40,864 Why don't I just take off my clothes 2807 02:14:40,864 --> 02:14:41,990 and have a nightmare? 2808 02:14:47,829 --> 02:14:50,624 It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here. 2809 02:14:51,166 --> 02:14:52,834 I'm so sorry I'm late. 2810 02:14:52,834 --> 02:14:57,172 Okay, here I am. So, who's the new tense girl? 2811 02:14:57,714 --> 02:14:58,340 She's your partner. 2812 02:14:58,840 --> 02:14:59,633 - Hi. - Hi. 2813 02:15:00,008 --> 02:15:01,343 I'm Monica. 2814 02:15:02,427 --> 02:15:04,471 Oh. Monica. 2815 02:15:06,264 --> 02:15:08,391 Hi. I'm Mo- ..nana. 2816 02:15:09,017 --> 02:15:11,311 - Monana? - Yeah. 2817 02:15:12,395 --> 02:15:13,647 It's Dutch. 2818 02:15:13,730 --> 02:15:16,024 You're kidding. I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. 2819 02:15:16,733 --> 02:15:18,652 [Speaking Dutch] Mag ik deze dans van u? 2820 02:15:20,070 --> 02:15:22,364 Um, Pennsylvania Dutch. 2821 02:15:23,406 --> 02:15:25,367 - Oh. - And we're dancing. 2822 02:15:26,034 --> 02:15:28,036 A-five, six, seven, eight. 2823 02:15:33,750 --> 02:15:35,210 Hi. 2824 02:15:36,878 --> 02:15:38,130 - Hey. - Hey. 2825 02:15:38,672 --> 02:15:39,506 Where have you been? 2826 02:15:40,006 --> 02:15:41,341 I just got back from the vet. 2827 02:15:42,050 --> 02:15:42,926 She's not gonna make you wear 2828 02:15:42,926 --> 02:15:44,678 one of those big plastic cones, is she? 2829 02:15:48,640 --> 02:15:51,726 She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. 2830 02:15:52,018 --> 02:15:55,438 Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity. 2831 02:15:55,939 --> 02:15:57,858 Hey, he beat ya 2832 02:16:01,987 --> 02:16:04,573 She says, as time goes on he's gonna start getting 2833 02:16:04,573 --> 02:16:06,700 aggressive and violent. 2834 02:16:07,492 --> 02:16:08,410 So what does this mean? 2835 02:16:11,079 --> 02:16:12,414 I might have to give him up. 2836 02:16:13,331 --> 02:16:15,584 [instrumental music] 2837 02:16:18,712 --> 02:16:20,714 [instrumental music] 2838 02:16:29,723 --> 02:16:32,225 I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks! 2839 02:16:32,558 --> 02:16:34,602 I mean, I don't get it. I mean, you just got him. 2840 02:16:34,602 --> 02:16:36,020 How could he be an adult already? 2841 02:16:36,478 --> 02:16:37,605 I know. I know. 2842 02:16:37,606 --> 02:16:40,108 I mean, one day he's this little thing 2843 02:16:40,108 --> 02:16:41,443 and then before you know it 2844 02:16:41,484 --> 02:16:44,487 he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. 2845 02:16:46,990 --> 02:16:48,407 Isn't there any way you can keep him? 2846 02:16:48,407 --> 02:16:51,994 No. No, the vet said that unless he's in a place 2847 02:16:51,995 --> 02:16:54,789 where he has regular access to some.. 2848 02:16:56,082 --> 02:16:58,126 ...monkey lovin'.. 2849 02:16:59,419 --> 02:17:01,254 ...he's just gonna get vicious. 2850 02:17:01,421 --> 02:17:04,299 You know, I-I've-I've just gotta get him into a zoo. 2851 02:17:06,050 --> 02:17:07,635 How do you get a monkey into a zoo? 2852 02:17:08,093 --> 02:17:09,094 I know that one. 2853 02:17:13,266 --> 02:17:16,228 No, that's popes into a Volkswagen. 2854 02:17:17,938 --> 02:17:19,439 Well, we're applying to a lot of them. 2855 02:17:19,606 --> 02:17:21,191 And naturally, our first choice 2856 02:17:21,191 --> 02:17:22,484 would be one of the bigger state zoos 2857 02:17:22,525 --> 02:17:24,903 you know, like San Diego. 2858 02:17:25,278 --> 02:17:26,863 Oh-h, right? 2859 02:17:27,656 --> 02:17:29,616 But that may just be a pipe dream 2860 02:17:29,741 --> 02:17:32,118 because, you know, he's outta state. 2861 02:17:34,079 --> 02:17:36,831 Uh, my, my vet knows someone at Miami 2862 02:17:36,831 --> 02:17:38,333 so, so that's a possibility 2863 02:17:38,375 --> 02:17:40,834 Yeah, but that's, like, two blocks away from the beach 2864 02:17:40,834 --> 02:17:42,127 I mean, it's a total party zoo. 2865 02:17:42,420 --> 02:17:44,089 Oh. 2866 02:17:51,846 --> 02:17:54,014 (female announcer) 'This is the final boarding call' 2867 02:17:54,014 --> 02:17:56,392 'for Flight 67 San Diego' 2868 02:17:56,433 --> 02:17:57,851 'boarding at Gate 42A.' 2869 02:17:58,687 --> 02:18:00,730 Okay. Goodbye, little monkey guy. 2870 02:18:01,356 --> 02:18:02,941 I, I wrote you this poem. 2871 02:18:02,983 --> 02:18:03,692 - I'm just.. - Oh. 2872 02:18:04,734 --> 02:18:07,153 Okay, but don't eat it till you get on the plane. 2873 02:18:07,779 --> 02:18:09,322 "Thank you, Aunt Phoebe" 2874 02:18:09,572 --> 02:18:10,991 Oh. 2875 02:18:13,701 --> 02:18:14,952 Okay. Bye, champ. 2876 02:18:16,162 --> 02:18:18,873 Now, I know there's gone a lot of babes in San Diego.. 2877 02:18:19,082 --> 02:18:21,543 but remember, there's also a lot to learn. 2878 02:18:21,793 --> 02:18:23,295 Hmm. 2879 02:18:28,674 --> 02:18:30,134 I don't know what to say, Ross. 2880 02:18:30,218 --> 02:18:31,136 Uh, it's a monkey. 2881 02:18:31,969 --> 02:18:34,471 No, just s-say what you feel, Joey. 2882 02:18:36,808 --> 02:18:38,768 Marcel, I'm hungry. 2883 02:18:39,602 --> 02:18:41,354 That was good. 2884 02:18:42,022 --> 02:18:43,023 [clears throat] 2885 02:18:43,606 --> 02:18:44,774 Marcel, this is for you. 2886 02:18:45,358 --> 02:18:46,568 - Oh. - It's, uh.. 2887 02:18:47,736 --> 02:18:52,490 Just, you know, somethig to, uh...do on the plane. 2888 02:18:55,493 --> 02:18:57,704 Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment 2889 02:18:57,787 --> 02:18:58,371 just me and him. 2890 02:18:58,871 --> 02:18:59,788 - Oh. - Sure. 2891 02:18:59,789 --> 02:19:00,999 - Go ahead. - Absolutely. 2892 02:19:02,791 --> 02:19:04,626 - Oh! - Oh! Uh.. 2893 02:19:06,754 --> 02:19:09,590 Marcel, come here, come here. 2894 02:19:09,924 --> 02:19:10,925 Come here. 2895 02:19:11,343 --> 02:19:12,927 Well, buddy.. 2896 02:19:15,221 --> 02:19:15,805 ...this is it. 2897 02:19:16,889 --> 02:19:19,475 There's just a couple of things I wanted to say. 2898 02:19:21,269 --> 02:19:22,937 I'm really gonna miss you. 2899 02:19:24,897 --> 02:19:26,690 I'm never gonna forget about you. 2900 02:19:27,108 --> 02:19:30,695 You've been more than just a pet to me. 2901 02:19:30,736 --> 02:19:34,531 You've, you've been more like a be.. Okay. 2902 02:19:35,075 --> 02:19:36,618 Marcel, would you.. 2903 02:19:36,785 --> 02:19:38,828 Marcel, would you.. Ple, would you leave my leg alone? 2904 02:19:38,952 --> 02:19:42,039 Would you just stop humping me for two seconds? 2905 02:19:42,290 --> 02:19:43,792 Marcel, would you, okay, would you.. 2906 02:19:43,833 --> 02:19:45,794 Just take him away, Just take him. 2907 02:19:51,758 --> 02:19:52,842 Ooh, oh, give me. 2908 02:19:53,718 --> 02:19:55,845 Can you see me operating a drill press? 2909 02:19:57,013 --> 02:19:58,681 I don't know. What are you wearing? 2910 02:20:02,685 --> 02:20:04,896 Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill? 2911 02:20:05,605 --> 02:20:07,107 Just for some short term work. 2912 02:20:07,107 --> 02:20:09,734 You know, till I get back some of my massage clients. 2913 02:20:10,193 --> 02:20:10,944 Pirates again? 2914 02:20:12,237 --> 02:20:14,197 No, nothing like that. 2915 02:20:14,781 --> 02:20:16,866 I'm just...such a dummy. 2916 02:20:17,117 --> 02:20:19,619 I taught this "Massage yourself at home" workshop. 2917 02:20:20,286 --> 02:20:21,037 And they are. 2918 02:20:23,039 --> 02:20:25,041 Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you. 2919 02:20:25,875 --> 02:20:27,877 Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea. 2920 02:20:28,795 --> 02:20:30,964 Well.. I could. I could! What is it? 2921 02:20:31,714 --> 02:20:33,800 Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. 2922 02:20:33,800 --> 02:20:35,969 She's having one of her boobs reduced. 2923 02:20:37,429 --> 02:20:39,431 It's a whole big boob story. 2924 02:20:40,473 --> 02:20:41,724 I could be a secretary. 2925 02:20:41,891 --> 02:20:43,226 Well you know, Pheebs, I don't know 2926 02:20:43,268 --> 02:20:44,811 if it's your kind of thing because, uh.. 2927 02:20:44,811 --> 02:20:46,938 ...it involves a lot of being normal. 2928 02:20:48,398 --> 02:20:50,066 For a large portion of the day. 2929 02:20:50,483 --> 02:20:51,651 I could do that. 2930 02:20:53,486 --> 02:20:55,822 - What're you playing with? - Oh, it's my new beeper. 2931 02:20:55,822 --> 02:20:57,574 What the hell does a paleontologist 2932 02:20:57,574 --> 02:20:58,658 need a beeper for? 2933 02:20:58,908 --> 02:21:00,660 Is it like for dinosaur emergencies? 2934 02:21:00,994 --> 02:21:02,996 "Help! Come quick. They're still extinct!" 2935 02:21:04,080 --> 02:21:06,249 No. It's for when Carol goes into labor. 2936 02:21:06,249 --> 02:21:07,917 She can get me wherever I am. 2937 02:21:07,917 --> 02:21:11,296 All she has to do is dial, uh, 55 Jimbo. 2938 02:21:12,630 --> 02:21:15,175 A cool phone number and a possible name for the kid! 2939 02:21:15,925 --> 02:21:17,260 Alright. See you guys later. 2940 02:21:17,260 --> 02:21:19,095 Off to see young Ethan? 2941 02:21:19,471 --> 02:21:20,763 Thank you. 2942 02:21:21,598 --> 02:21:24,017 How young is young Ethan? Young? 2943 02:21:25,185 --> 02:21:26,603 He's our age. 2944 02:21:27,770 --> 02:21:28,855 When we were.. 2945 02:21:32,942 --> 02:21:34,152 Okay. He's a senior in college. 2946 02:21:34,694 --> 02:21:36,946 - College? - Whoa! 2947 02:21:37,780 --> 02:21:39,616 And this man-child has no problem 2948 02:21:39,616 --> 02:21:40,366 with how old you are? 2949 02:21:40,950 --> 02:21:43,328 No. Of course not. It's not even an issue. 2950 02:21:44,204 --> 02:21:45,788 'Cause I told him I was 22. 2951 02:21:45,997 --> 02:21:47,040 - What? - What? 2952 02:21:47,332 --> 02:21:50,835 - Oh, I can't pass for 22? -Well, maybe 25, 26. 2953 02:21:51,544 --> 02:21:53,963 - I am 26. - There you go. 2954 02:22:00,053 --> 02:22:02,555 [telephone ringing] 2955 02:22:05,141 --> 02:22:06,726 [telephone ringing] 2956 02:22:07,227 --> 02:22:09,312 Can you hear that? 2957 02:22:09,646 --> 02:22:10,355 Yeah. 2958 02:22:10,897 --> 02:22:11,856 [telephone ringing] 2959 02:22:12,899 --> 02:22:15,026 You see, that'll stop when you pick up the phone. 2960 02:22:15,318 --> 02:22:16,903 Oh! 2961 02:22:17,529 --> 02:22:19,072 - Ooh! I'm on. - Okay. 2962 02:22:21,658 --> 02:22:23,493 Mr. Bing's office. 2963 02:22:25,995 --> 02:22:27,914 No, I'm sorry. He's in a meeting right now. 2964 02:22:28,414 --> 02:22:30,083 I'm not in a meeting. I'm right-who..? 2965 02:22:30,083 --> 02:22:32,502 Will he know what this is in reference to? 2966 02:22:33,086 --> 02:22:34,504 And he has your number? 2967 02:22:34,754 --> 02:22:36,673 Alright. I'll see that he gets the message. 2968 02:22:37,006 --> 02:22:38,424 Bye-bye. 2969 02:22:40,843 --> 02:22:42,345 - What? - Ross says hi. 2970 02:22:42,345 --> 02:22:42,887 Ah. 2971 02:22:43,846 --> 02:22:46,349 This is so fun. Alright. What do we do now? 2972 02:22:46,599 --> 02:22:49,269 Well, now I actually have to get to work. 2973 02:22:49,686 --> 02:22:51,604 Most likely. 2974 02:22:51,938 --> 02:22:53,773 [laughs] 2975 02:22:55,275 --> 02:22:57,610 - Okay, I'm gonna be out there. - Okay. 2976 02:22:57,610 --> 02:23:00,863 - Alright. Bye bye. - Bye bye. 2977 02:23:04,117 --> 02:23:05,868 [intercom buzzing] 2978 02:23:07,078 --> 02:23:08,871 - Yes. - 'Whatcha doin'?' 2979 02:23:09,122 --> 02:23:09,539 Oh. 2980 02:23:12,500 --> 02:23:13,042 - Hey. - Hey. 2981 02:23:13,042 --> 02:23:14,294 - How was the first day? - Hey. 2982 02:23:14,502 --> 02:23:15,670 Oh! Excellent. 2983 02:23:16,296 --> 02:23:18,423 Everyone was so, so nice! 2984 02:23:18,506 --> 02:23:21,926 See it pays to know then who wears my shoes. 2985 02:23:22,343 --> 02:23:24,304 - Me. - Oh. 2986 02:23:25,263 --> 02:23:27,265 No, I didn't tell anyboy that I knew you. 2987 02:23:27,599 --> 02:23:28,349 Why not? 2988 02:23:28,516 --> 02:23:30,018 Oh, because you know.. 2989 02:23:31,102 --> 02:23:32,604 ...they don't like you. 2990 02:23:36,441 --> 02:23:36,941 What? 2991 02:23:37,525 --> 02:23:38,526 I thought you knew that. 2992 02:23:38,818 --> 02:23:39,527 Nuh uh.. 2993 02:23:41,529 --> 02:23:42,447 Who doesn't like me? 2994 02:23:42,822 --> 02:23:43,781 Everyone. 2995 02:23:44,532 --> 02:23:47,660 Except for um... no, everyone. 2996 02:23:50,830 --> 02:23:51,789 What are you talking about? 2997 02:23:52,373 --> 02:23:55,627 Don't feel bad. You know, they used to like you a alot. 2998 02:23:56,544 --> 02:23:58,212 But, then you got promoted, and you know 2999 02:23:58,212 --> 02:24:00,381 now you're all like Mr. Boss man. 3000 02:24:00,465 --> 02:24:03,384 You know, Mr. Bing. Mr.. Boss man Bing. 3001 02:24:06,012 --> 02:24:06,804 I can't believe it. 3002 02:24:07,347 --> 02:24:09,307 Yeah, yeah. They even do you. 3003 02:24:11,059 --> 02:24:12,226 They "do" me? 3004 02:24:12,977 --> 02:24:14,562 You know like, um, okay, um 3005 02:24:15,480 --> 02:24:17,231 "Could that report be any later." 3006 02:24:17,565 --> 02:24:19,692 [laughing] 3007 02:24:23,738 --> 02:24:24,405 I don't sound like that. 3008 02:24:24,906 --> 02:24:27,241 - Oh. Oh, Chandler. - Yeah, you do. 3009 02:24:28,076 --> 02:24:31,037 "The hills are alive with the sound.. 3010 02:24:31,579 --> 02:24:33,373 ...of music." 3011 02:24:39,003 --> 02:24:39,921 "My scone!" 3012 02:24:40,004 --> 02:24:41,756 Both: "My scone!" 3013 02:24:43,758 --> 02:24:46,219 Okay. I don't sound like. That is so not true. 3014 02:24:46,594 --> 02:24:48,429 [laughing] 3015 02:24:49,347 --> 02:24:52,183 That is so not ...that is so not...that.. 3016 02:24:52,600 --> 02:24:53,851 Oh, shut up! 3017 02:24:58,272 --> 02:25:00,066 And I think last night was great, you know 3018 02:25:00,066 --> 02:25:02,068 the karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory? 3019 02:25:02,568 --> 02:25:03,778 - Mm-hm. - Huh? 3020 02:25:04,278 --> 02:25:05,029 You were great! 3021 02:25:05,446 --> 02:25:06,572 But they still made fun of you. 3022 02:25:07,115 --> 02:25:08,449 - What? - You know. 3023 02:25:08,449 --> 02:25:10,410 Now you're more like, you know, Mr. Caring boss. 3024 02:25:10,535 --> 02:25:11,953 Mister...you know, "I'm one of you" boss. 3025 02:25:12,120 --> 02:25:14,288 Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Your-Buddy Boss-Man Bing. 3026 02:25:16,374 --> 02:25:18,209 Then I don't get it. 3027 02:25:18,918 --> 02:25:20,586 Well, you know what, Chandler 3028 02:25:20,586 --> 02:25:22,088 I think you just gotta face it. 3029 02:25:22,463 --> 02:25:24,298 You're like the guy in the big office. 3030 02:25:24,465 --> 02:25:27,969 You know? You're the one that hires them and fires them 3031 02:25:28,302 --> 02:25:29,929 They still say you're a great boss. 3032 02:25:30,471 --> 02:25:31,639 - They do? - Uh-huh. 3033 02:25:32,557 --> 02:25:33,975 But they're not your friends anymore 3034 02:25:33,975 --> 02:25:35,643 [sighs] But I just want-- 3035 02:25:36,144 --> 02:25:37,145 No but you can't. 3036 02:25:37,979 --> 02:25:40,064 - But I just want-- - Nuh-uh. 3037 02:25:42,567 --> 02:25:45,653 Monica, let's go. Come on now people! Woman in labor! 3038 02:25:46,028 --> 02:25:47,238 Hey Ross. Look what I got going here. 3039 02:25:47,280 --> 02:25:49,323 Yeah. Save it for the cab. Okay? 3040 02:25:50,241 --> 02:25:51,409 What are you doing? What are you doing? 3041 02:25:51,576 --> 02:25:52,577 We're going to a hospital 3042 02:25:52,827 --> 02:25:53,828 What, so I can't look nice? 3043 02:25:53,828 --> 02:25:55,246 There might be doctors there. 3044 02:25:56,080 --> 02:25:58,666 - Joey, get out of the fridge. - 'Alright! Alright.' 3045 02:26:00,293 --> 02:26:01,669 - What is that? - For the ride. 3046 02:26:02,003 --> 02:26:03,921 - Oh, yeah. Like in a c- - Save it! 3047 02:26:04,380 --> 02:26:07,425 - Okay. Hating this. - Monica, come on now! Let's go! 3048 02:26:07,467 --> 02:26:08,593 - Baby coming, god! - I can't believe it. 3049 02:26:08,885 --> 02:26:11,137 - I'm gonna be an aunt! 3050 02:26:11,471 --> 02:26:14,557 - I'm going to have a nephew! - Yeah...that's nice. Get out! 3051 02:26:15,433 --> 02:26:17,268 Well, let's go. Come on. That's it. 3052 02:26:18,352 --> 02:26:20,813 (Joey) 'Alright, alright. I'm going. I'm going.' 3053 02:26:27,445 --> 02:26:30,072 - Here we go. Here we go. - Rossy. Rossy. Come on. 3054 02:26:35,661 --> 02:26:36,996 [instrumental music] 3055 02:26:38,498 --> 02:26:40,249 (woman on PA) 'Johnson, we have a call on line seven.' 3056 02:26:41,125 --> 02:26:42,710 She's not here yet. She's not here. 3057 02:26:42,752 --> 02:26:44,253 She's having my baby and she's not here. 3058 02:26:44,295 --> 02:26:46,255 I'm sure everything's fine. H-has her water broken yet? 3059 02:26:46,672 --> 02:26:48,508 I don't know, but when I spoke to her 3060 02:26:48,674 --> 02:26:50,760 she said she had already passed the mucus plug. 3061 02:26:51,135 --> 02:26:53,054 [gagging] 3062 02:26:54,472 --> 02:26:55,848 Do we have to know about that? 3063 02:26:56,974 --> 02:26:58,851 Joey, what are you gonno when you have a baby? 3064 02:26:59,018 --> 02:27:01,854 I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handin' out cigars. 3065 02:27:03,189 --> 02:27:05,191 Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby 3066 02:27:05,233 --> 02:27:07,318 in a movie from the '50s. 3067 02:27:08,236 --> 02:27:10,196 God! I don't believe this. 3068 02:27:10,321 --> 02:27:12,031 I mean, she could be giving birth in the cab. 3069 02:27:12,448 --> 02:27:15,034 Oh, Ross, relax, it's probably only like two dollars 3070 02:27:15,034 --> 02:27:16,953 for the first contraction and then 50 cents 3071 02:27:16,994 --> 02:27:18,871 each additional contraction.. 3072 02:27:20,248 --> 02:27:22,083 What, it's okay when Chandler does it? 3073 02:27:24,001 --> 02:27:25,378 You have to pick your moments 3074 02:27:27,296 --> 02:27:28,548 Hi. Did I miss it? Did I miss it? 3075 02:27:28,589 --> 02:27:29,966 - No, she's not even here yet. - Oh! 3076 02:27:30,216 --> 02:27:31,425 What's with the guitar? 3077 02:27:31,551 --> 02:27:33,052 Well, I just thought we might be here for a while 3078 02:27:33,052 --> 02:27:35,137 so, you know, things might get musical. 3079 02:27:35,596 --> 02:27:36,013 - Oh! - Oh! 3080 02:27:36,848 --> 02:27:38,224 Hey! Where the hell have you been? 3081 02:27:38,224 --> 02:27:39,141 Oh, we stopped at the gift shop. 3082 02:27:39,183 --> 02:27:40,142 The gift.. Wow! Wow! Wha.. 3083 02:27:40,393 --> 02:27:41,394 I was looking at stuffed animals 3084 02:27:41,394 --> 02:27:42,520 and Susan wanted a Chunky. 3085 02:27:42,520 --> 02:27:42,854 Oh, Susan wanted a Chun. 3086 02:27:43,729 --> 02:27:44,564 You're havin' a baby, okay? A baby. 3087 02:27:45,231 --> 02:27:46,399 You don't stop for Chunky's! 3088 02:27:46,816 --> 02:27:48,401 I used to have that bumper sticker. 3089 02:27:48,734 --> 02:27:50,027 [chuckles] 3090 02:27:50,736 --> 02:27:52,530 You see what I mean? 3091 02:27:52,822 --> 02:27:54,574 [guitar music] 3092 02:27:56,576 --> 02:27:59,620 ♪ They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch ♪ 3093 02:28:00,788 --> 02:28:04,876 ♪ But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much ♪ 3094 02:28:06,252 --> 02:28:09,755 ♪ Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why ♪ 3095 02:28:10,715 --> 02:28:13,968 ♪ And you cry and you cry and you cry ♪ 3096 02:28:14,927 --> 02:28:17,096 ♪ And you cry and you cry and you.. ♪ 3097 02:28:18,180 --> 02:28:20,433 - Thanks, Ross. - Yeah. I'm paying you to stop! 3098 02:28:20,933 --> 02:28:22,101 - Okay? - Okay. 3099 02:28:23,603 --> 02:28:26,898 (Monica) 'Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute' 3100 02:28:28,316 --> 02:28:31,110 Ugh. No fair! I don't even have one. 3101 02:28:31,235 --> 02:28:32,445 How come they get two? 3102 02:28:33,195 --> 02:28:34,947 - You'll get one. - Oh, yeah? When? 3103 02:28:35,823 --> 02:28:36,866 (Chandler) 'Alright, I'll tell you what' 3104 02:28:37,158 --> 02:28:39,493 When we're 40, if neither of us are married 3105 02:28:40,661 --> 02:28:41,954 what do you say you and I get together and have one? 3106 02:28:43,039 --> 02:28:45,291 Why won't I be married when I'm 40? 3107 02:28:45,917 --> 02:28:48,127 Oh, no, no. No. I-I just meant hypothetically. 3108 02:28:48,294 --> 02:28:49,295 Okay, hypothetically.. 3109 02:28:49,295 --> 02:28:51,172 why won't I be married when I'm 40? 3110 02:28:51,589 --> 02:28:53,799 - No. No, no. - No, no, what is it? Seriously 3111 02:28:53,883 --> 02:28:56,510 Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me? 3112 02:28:57,345 --> 02:28:59,055 - Uh-uh, uh-- - Well? 3113 02:28:59,972 --> 02:29:02,975 Dear God! This-this parachute is a knapsack. 3114 02:29:06,354 --> 02:29:06,938 - Hey. - Hey. 3115 02:29:07,688 --> 02:29:09,398 Ooh! Look at you, dressy dress 3116 02:29:09,607 --> 02:29:11,859 - Huh. - Did you go home and change? 3117 02:29:12,151 --> 02:29:14,528 Uh, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. 3118 02:29:15,529 --> 02:29:18,574 Um, has, uh, Dr. Franzblau been by? 3119 02:29:19,784 --> 02:29:21,494 - No, I haven't seen hi. - Well, where is he? 3120 02:29:22,119 --> 02:29:24,080 He is supposed to be here. 3121 02:29:26,332 --> 02:29:27,041 What if the baby needs him? 3122 02:29:28,417 --> 02:29:30,544 Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors anyway? 3123 02:29:30,628 --> 02:29:32,838 Is, like, your-your father a doctor? 3124 02:29:32,922 --> 02:29:34,090 Yeah, why? 3125 02:29:35,591 --> 02:29:37,051 No reason. 3126 02:29:38,886 --> 02:29:41,055 Oh, please, this is so your fault. 3127 02:29:41,055 --> 02:29:42,556 How? How is this my fault? 3128 02:29:42,556 --> 02:29:45,226 Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. 3129 02:29:45,393 --> 02:29:47,561 Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did 3130 02:29:47,561 --> 02:29:48,854 before I came along. 3131 02:29:50,147 --> 02:29:51,315 You're trying to be clever? Are you funny funny lad? 3132 02:29:51,440 --> 02:29:52,400 You know what your problem is? 3133 02:29:52,525 --> 02:29:54,110 You are so threatened by me! 3134 02:29:54,235 --> 02:29:55,903 - Oh, I'm threat, I'm threatene? - Everything I say is a problem- - Hey. Hey. Hey! 3135 02:29:55,903 --> 02:29:57,071 - Yes. - Okay. Alright. 3136 02:29:57,154 --> 02:29:58,322 That's it! Get in here, come on! 3137 02:29:58,572 --> 02:30:00,741 My God, you guys! 3138 02:30:01,283 --> 02:30:02,284 I don't believe you. 3139 02:30:02,451 --> 02:30:04,412 There are children coming into the world 3140 02:30:04,412 --> 02:30:07,456 in this very building and your negative fighting noises 3141 02:30:07,581 --> 02:30:09,208 are not the first thing they should be hearing. 3142 02:30:09,208 --> 02:30:12,044 So just stop allthe yelling! Just stop i!t 3143 02:30:12,420 --> 02:30:13,504 Yeah, Susan. 3144 02:30:14,755 --> 02:30:18,592 Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this! 3145 02:30:23,889 --> 02:30:26,434 Okay, who wants to hear something ironic? 3146 02:30:31,605 --> 02:30:32,565 (together) Help! 3147 02:30:33,107 --> 02:30:33,733 - I'm.. - Help! 3148 02:30:34,358 --> 02:30:35,443 I'm havin' a baby in here! 3149 02:30:35,443 --> 02:30:36,527 Hello! 3150 02:30:37,028 --> 02:30:39,572 - Help! - Okay, everyone stand back.. 3151 02:30:43,951 --> 02:30:45,161 - Ow. - 'Oh!' 3152 02:30:47,163 --> 02:30:50,624 - Are they here yet? - No, honey, they're not 3153 02:30:50,624 --> 02:30:52,126 But don't worry, we're gonna find them. 3154 02:30:52,126 --> 02:30:54,879 And until we do, we are all here for you, okay? 3155 02:30:55,504 --> 02:30:56,964 - Okay. Okay. - Okay. 3156 02:30:57,006 --> 02:30:58,466 Okay, so anyway, you wee telling me about Paris. 3157 02:30:58,507 --> 02:31:01,469 - It sounds wonderful! - Oh. Tell you what. 3158 02:31:01,469 --> 02:31:04,221 There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel 3159 02:31:04,221 --> 02:31:07,349 - Ah! Ah! - There you go, dear. 3160 02:31:10,436 --> 02:31:12,605 What are you gonna do? Suck the door open? 3161 02:31:15,858 --> 02:31:17,651 Help! Help! 3162 02:31:18,152 --> 02:31:19,236 - Help! - He.. 3163 02:31:19,487 --> 02:31:22,198 ♪ They found their bodies the very next day ♪ 3164 02:31:23,324 --> 02:31:27,787 ♪ And they found their bodies the very next day♪ 3165 02:31:28,871 --> 02:31:29,455 ♪ La la la 3166 02:31:29,997 --> 02:31:31,332 -Uh, help! -Help! 3167 02:31:32,333 --> 02:31:34,168 Look, mom, everything's going fine, really. 3168 02:31:34,877 --> 02:31:36,462 Yeah, Ross is great, he. 3169 02:31:37,171 --> 02:31:39,340 ...he's in a whole other place! 3170 02:31:39,882 --> 02:31:40,841 No, he's gone. No.. 3171 02:31:41,926 --> 02:31:44,136 No, no, you-you don't have to fly back, really. 3172 02:31:45,179 --> 02:31:47,014 What do you mean this might be your only chance? 3173 02:31:47,807 --> 02:31:49,183 Oh. Would you stop? I'm only 26. 3174 02:31:50,142 --> 02:31:52,019 I'm-I'm not even thinking about babies yet. 3175 02:31:52,436 --> 02:31:53,854 [baby cooing] 3176 02:31:56,732 --> 02:31:59,527 [imitates static] 3177 02:32:06,200 --> 02:32:09,203 - Where have you been? - Oh, I just had a baby. 3178 02:32:10,746 --> 02:32:11,914 Mazel tov! 3179 02:32:13,040 --> 02:32:15,251 [instrumental music] 3180 02:32:20,673 --> 02:32:21,841 Hi, I'm Ben. 3181 02:32:22,216 --> 02:32:23,217 [chuckles] 3182 02:32:23,843 --> 02:32:25,886 I'm hospital worker Ben. 3183 02:32:26,679 --> 02:32:27,805 It's Ben to the rescue. 3184 02:32:28,597 --> 02:32:30,266 - Ta-da-da! - Okay, okay, okay. 3185 02:32:30,975 --> 02:32:32,226 - Ben, you ready? - Yeah. 3186 02:32:32,309 --> 02:32:33,644 - Alright, give me your. - Okay. 3187 02:32:33,853 --> 02:32:36,897 Okay, on three, Ben. One, uh, two, three! 3188 02:32:37,398 --> 02:32:37,857 - Uh! - Ooh. 3189 02:32:38,732 --> 02:32:39,733 Come on, Ben. Okay, that's it, Ben. 3190 02:32:40,442 --> 02:32:41,402 - 'Okay. Uh-huh.' - Okay. 3191 02:32:42,194 --> 02:32:43,237 (Susan) 'Uh, what do you see?' 3192 02:32:44,530 --> 02:32:47,741 (Phoebe) Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. 3193 02:32:48,784 --> 02:32:49,577 'Wait.' 3194 02:32:49,952 --> 02:32:52,830 (Phoebe) Yes, it is in fact a dark vent. 3195 02:32:54,456 --> 02:32:55,040 [groaning] 3196 02:32:55,791 --> 02:32:57,585 - Oh! - Ah, Pheebs, it's open. 3197 02:32:57,960 --> 02:32:59,086 It's open! 3198 02:33:01,881 --> 02:33:04,425 Wait! You forgot your legs! 3199 02:33:05,759 --> 02:33:07,136 (in unison) Push! Push! 3200 02:33:07,219 --> 02:33:09,013 - We're here. Hey! - Daddy's here. 3201 02:33:09,889 --> 02:33:12,183 - We're here. - Where have you been? 3202 02:33:12,975 --> 02:33:14,143 Long story, honey. 3203 02:33:14,226 --> 02:33:15,811 Alright, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. 3204 02:33:15,811 --> 02:33:18,230 I need, uh, I-I need.. Excuse me, can I have this? 3205 02:33:18,230 --> 02:33:19,273 Oh, I'm sorry. 3206 02:33:20,566 --> 02:33:23,319 Alright, alright, therew too many people in this room. 3207 02:33:23,319 --> 02:33:26,030 There's about to be one more, so anybody who's not 3208 02:33:26,071 --> 02:33:29,450 an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go! 3209 02:33:30,409 --> 02:33:31,410 - Alright, alright. - Okay, bye, bye, bye. 3210 02:33:32,119 --> 02:33:33,454 Good luck, you guys. Good luck! 3211 02:33:33,954 --> 02:33:37,208 Let me ask you, do you o be Carol's lesbian life partner? 3212 02:33:38,000 --> 02:33:39,251 Out! 3213 02:33:44,048 --> 02:33:45,549 - Hey. - Hey. 3214 02:33:45,883 --> 02:33:48,928 How long did you think this barbecue was going to last? 3215 02:33:50,054 --> 02:33:50,930 I'm going to China. 3216 02:33:51,263 --> 02:33:53,432 Geez, you say one thing and.. 3217 02:33:55,226 --> 02:33:58,103 - You're going to China? - Yeah, it-it's for the museum. 3218 02:33:58,270 --> 02:34:00,272 Uh, someone found a bone, and we want the bone 3219 02:34:00,272 --> 02:34:01,857 but they don't want us to have the bone. 3220 02:34:01,857 --> 02:34:04,109 So I'm going to try ande them to give us the bonw. 3221 02:34:04,109 --> 02:34:06,070 It's a, it's a whole big bone thing. 3222 02:34:07,238 --> 02:34:10,032 Anyway, I'm going to be gone for like, uh, like, a week. 3223 02:34:10,074 --> 02:34:12,701 So, uh, if you want to reach me, you-you can't. 3224 02:34:12,743 --> 02:34:14,411 So, here's my itinerary. 3225 02:34:14,411 --> 02:34:18,415 - Um...here's a picture of me. - Oh, let me see. 3226 02:34:19,708 --> 02:34:21,627 Could you take it to Carol's every now and then 3227 02:34:21,627 --> 02:34:24,129 and show it to Ben just so he doesn't forget me? 3228 02:34:24,129 --> 02:34:28,050 - Yeah. - Hi, Ben. I'm your father. 3229 02:34:30,594 --> 02:34:34,139 I am the head! Ha! 3230 02:34:38,394 --> 02:34:40,813 Alright, this barbecue's going to be very fun. 3231 02:34:41,397 --> 02:34:42,398 Hey, is Rachel here? 3232 02:34:42,398 --> 02:34:43,482 Um, I wanted to wish her 3233 02:34:43,482 --> 02:34:44,900 a happy birthday before I, I left. 3234 02:34:45,150 --> 02:34:47,278 Oh, no. She's out having drinks with Carl. 3235 02:34:47,486 --> 02:34:48,320 Oh. 3236 02:34:48,821 --> 02:34:49,905 Hey, who's Carl? 3237 02:34:52,992 --> 02:34:54,910 You know, that guy she met at the coffee house. 3238 02:34:54,910 --> 02:34:55,494 - No. - Oh. 3239 02:34:55,744 --> 02:34:57,830 Well, see, there's thisy that she met-- 3240 02:34:57,830 --> 02:34:59,832 At the coffee house? Right. 3241 02:35:00,624 --> 02:35:02,793 So you do know who he is. 3242 02:35:06,630 --> 02:35:08,507 Okay, I'm going to go say good-bye to the guys. 3243 02:35:08,507 --> 02:35:12,636 Okay, hey, you know wha, tell them that bone story. 3244 02:35:16,932 --> 02:35:18,517 - Hi. - Hey. 3245 02:35:19,476 --> 02:35:21,603 - I have to go to China. - The country? 3246 02:35:23,522 --> 02:35:27,318 No, no, this big pile of dishes in my mom's breakfront. 3247 02:35:28,986 --> 02:35:30,696 Do you guys know who Carl is? 3248 02:35:30,696 --> 02:35:34,158 Uh, let's see, Alvin, Simon, Theodore.. 3249 02:35:34,366 --> 02:35:35,451 No. 3250 02:35:36,493 --> 02:35:38,620 Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight. 3251 02:35:38,620 --> 02:35:40,497 Oh, no, how can she do that 3252 02:35:40,497 --> 02:35:42,458 when she's never shown any interest in you! 3253 02:35:43,542 --> 02:35:47,004 - Forget about her. - He's right, man. Please. 3254 02:35:47,004 --> 02:35:49,715 Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food. 3255 02:35:50,132 --> 02:35:52,217 Of course, there they just call it "food" 3256 02:35:53,218 --> 02:35:56,638 Yeah, I guess. I don't, I don't know. 3257 02:35:57,681 --> 02:35:59,850 Alright, just, just give her this for me, okay? 3258 02:36:00,976 --> 02:36:03,187 Listen, buddy, we, we're just looking out for you. 3259 02:36:03,187 --> 02:36:04,730 - I know. - We want you to be happy. 3260 02:36:04,730 --> 02:36:06,648 And I may have only have a couple of beers in me 3261 02:36:06,648 --> 02:36:08,859 but, I love you, man. 3262 02:36:11,195 --> 02:36:13,405 I'm still on my first, I... 3263 02:36:16,033 --> 02:36:18,035 ...I just think you're nice.. 3264 02:36:20,412 --> 02:36:24,833 Okay, I'm...guessing this is from.. 3265 02:36:28,879 --> 02:36:29,922 Well, thank you, Melani. 3266 02:36:30,756 --> 02:36:32,257 Okay, this one right here is from me. 3267 02:36:32,424 --> 02:36:35,386 Okay. Hmm, ah, it's light. 3268 02:36:36,387 --> 02:36:37,513 It rattles. 3269 02:36:37,763 --> 02:36:38,889 It's.. 3270 02:36:40,391 --> 02:36:42,059 ...Travel Scrabble. 3271 02:36:44,436 --> 02:36:47,189 Wow. Thank you. 3272 02:36:51,360 --> 02:36:53,404 This one's from Joey. Feels like a book. 3273 02:36:53,404 --> 02:36:54,780 I think it's a book. Feels like a book. 3274 02:36:54,780 --> 02:36:58,951 - And it's a book! - Oh, It's Dr. Seuss! 3275 02:37:00,869 --> 02:37:03,288 That book got me through some tough times 3276 02:37:04,957 --> 02:37:07,126 There is a little child inside this man. 3277 02:37:07,543 --> 02:37:10,963 Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die. 3278 02:37:13,882 --> 02:37:15,926 - Who's this from? - Oh, that's, uh, Ross's. 3279 02:37:15,968 --> 02:37:16,927 Oh! 3280 02:37:18,220 --> 02:37:19,471 [clearing throat] 3281 02:37:22,266 --> 02:37:23,934 Oh, my God. 3282 02:37:24,893 --> 02:37:27,479 - He remembered. - Remembered what? 3283 02:37:27,938 --> 02:37:31,817 It was like, months ago, we were walking by this antique store 3284 02:37:31,817 --> 02:37:33,152 and I saw this pin in the window. 3285 02:37:33,152 --> 02:37:34,736 And I told him that it was just like one 3286 02:37:34,736 --> 02:37:36,989 my grandmother had when I was a little girl. 3287 02:37:37,156 --> 02:37:40,784 Oh! I can't believe he remembered. 3288 02:37:40,993 --> 02:37:44,663 Well, sure. But can you play it on a plane? 3289 02:37:48,667 --> 02:37:50,919 Oh, it's so pretty. 3290 02:37:51,753 --> 02:37:53,255 This must have cost him a fortune. 3291 02:37:53,297 --> 02:37:55,257 - I can't believe he did this. - Come on, Ross? 3292 02:37:55,299 --> 02:37:57,342 Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol 3293 02:37:57,342 --> 02:38:00,304 and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck? 3294 02:38:02,306 --> 02:38:03,682 What did you just say? 3295 02:38:10,147 --> 02:38:12,274 [clearing throat] 3296 02:38:15,986 --> 02:38:17,321 Crystal duck. 3297 02:38:21,700 --> 02:38:23,535 No. No. No. 3298 02:38:24,161 --> 02:38:26,830 The, um, the love part? 3299 02:38:28,540 --> 02:38:30,709 [stuttering] 3300 02:38:33,837 --> 02:38:36,215 Oh, my God! 3301 02:38:37,299 --> 02:38:39,510 Oh, no, no, no. 3302 02:38:40,385 --> 02:38:42,387 That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. 3303 02:38:43,013 --> 02:38:45,516 That'll turn back time. 3304 02:38:50,562 --> 02:38:54,066 This is unbelievable. I mean, this is unbelievable.. 3305 02:38:54,066 --> 02:38:57,069 I know. This is really, really huge 3306 02:38:57,069 --> 02:38:59,571 No, it's not. It's small. It's tiny. 3307 02:38:59,571 --> 02:39:01,156 It's petite. It's wee.█ 3308 02:39:02,032 --> 02:39:04,326 Uh-uh, I don't think any of our lives 3309 02:39:04,326 --> 02:39:07,246 are ever going to be the same, ever again 3310 02:39:08,247 --> 02:39:09,998 Okay, is there a mute button on this woman? 3311 02:39:11,041 --> 02:39:14,002 I think this is so great. I mean, you and Ross! 3312 02:39:14,878 --> 02:39:18,006 - Did you have any idea? - No. None. 3313 02:39:18,048 --> 02:39:20,342 I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned 3314 02:39:20,342 --> 02:39:22,844 something about asking me out but nothing ever happen. 3315 02:39:22,844 --> 02:39:25,514 So I just, wh-what else did he say? 3316 02:39:25,514 --> 02:39:27,099 I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me? 3317 02:39:27,349 --> 02:39:29,768 Well, given that he is desperately in love with you 3318 02:39:29,768 --> 02:39:31,270 he probably wouldn't mind getting 3319 02:39:31,270 --> 02:39:32,896 a cup of coffee or something. 3320 02:39:34,106 --> 02:39:35,440 Ross? 3321 02:39:35,899 --> 02:39:37,442 All this time? 3322 02:39:37,859 --> 02:39:40,112 - Well, I've got to talk to him. - Yeah, he's in China! 3323 02:39:40,112 --> 02:39:44,199 - The country. - No, no, wait. 3324 02:39:44,199 --> 02:39:46,076 His flight doesn't leave for another 45 more minutes. 3325 02:39:46,076 --> 02:39:47,202 What about the time difference? 3326 02:39:47,202 --> 02:39:49,454 - From here to the airport? - Yes! 3327 02:39:51,415 --> 02:39:53,584 - You're never gonna make it! - Well, I've got to try. 3328 02:39:53,959 --> 02:39:55,752 Rachel, what are you going to say to him? 3329 02:39:56,128 --> 02:39:57,546 I don't know. 3330 02:39:57,546 --> 02:39:58,797 Well, then maybe you shouldn't go. 3331 02:39:58,797 --> 02:40:00,465 He's right, 'cause if you just gonna like 3332 02:40:00,465 --> 02:40:02,384 break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait. 3333 02:40:02,426 --> 02:40:05,137 Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now. 3334 02:40:05,137 --> 02:40:06,972 I don't know, maybe I'll know when I see him.. 3335 02:40:06,972 --> 02:40:09,433 - Here, look. - Alright. Does this help? 3336 02:40:16,064 --> 02:40:19,151 No. Look, all I know is that I cannot 3337 02:40:19,151 --> 02:40:20,235 wait a week until I see him. 3338 02:40:20,235 --> 02:40:21,570 I mean, this is just too big. 3339 02:40:21,612 --> 02:40:23,655 You know, I just, I've just got to talk to him. 3340 02:40:23,655 --> 02:40:25,741 I, I've got to, okay, I'll see you late. 3341 02:40:25,824 --> 02:40:27,618 Rachel, I love you! 3342 02:40:28,243 --> 02:40:29,828 Deal with me first!